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What would you do?
I want to tell my mum that myself and htb are being tested for fertility problems (htb is aware of the poblems he himself has). But I also feel I can't as she says where too young (24 - me 26 - partner).
Not only this but my sister is going through her second dose of IVF and is recently getting injected etc etc so don't want to steal her thunder I have tried telling friends but no one is interested and htb doesn't want me telling his mum. xx
Not only this but my sister is going through her second dose of IVF and is recently getting injected etc etc so don't want to steal her thunder I have tried telling friends but no one is interested and htb doesn't want me telling his mum. xx
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Replies
Good luck.
i told my mum about a year after ttc and was sooo nervous about telling her. she kept banging on about me applying for better jobs. i'm a teacher but can't get a job round my area so work as a cafe supervisor at min, (its crap but pays the mortgage so hey ho) anyways she kept rabbiting on about me doing better for myslef and applying for jobs and i'd basically stopped applying for anything JUST INCASE i fell preggers hahah (little did i know it would never happen). soooo one day she was havin her usual moan and i just blurted it all out, explained that we were seeking help and really upset it wasn't working, she was sooo supportive and has been ever since. i was quite emotional when i told her but i personally find the whole thing easier with their support. it is sometimes weird having convo's with them, especially with my dad. he once went into detail about how they struggled to conceive me and asked me about whether i put legs up after sex. eeeeeeeeek major cringe and fingers put straight into ears moment hahah
are you close with your mum? with having h2b she must be aware that its a serious relationship so at some point you would want to start a family. also i don't think you'd be stealing your sisters thunder, if anything she might appreciate someone to talk to who is also struggling to conceive.
and if you don't feel comfortable telling her just yet lovey, you have us xxxx
If its something you feel that you want to do, I would give it a go. If you dont get what you need, then at least you tried, and we are all here for you xx
I am not close to my sister so can't turn to her.. And well my mates don't understand just wish I had someone to turn too. xx
You can vent and whinge at us as much as you like. Its ridiculous for your mother to be so hypocritical! Is it worth trying to talk to your sister, it might help build bridges with you both?
There are support groups in our local area, there was information about these when I went for my fetility appt. It might be worth googling for one in your local area?
xx
Lean on us. I know its not the same.
I wish that my OH and I had been in the right place mentally and met eachother when we were your age as I really, really wish I could have tried then.
I wanted babies when I was 18 but did not meet the right man until I was 29. So if I basically think your situation is perfect.
There are so many reasons why you should!!! Is your mum religious? Is that why she is hung up on marriage? Only say that as I was brought up Catholic.
I honestly feel like saying screw your family if they can't understand, but its your family and its easy for me to annoyed on your behalf.
What about work colleagues? Anyone there? I know its not a water filter chat topic. xx
I can see why you're annoyed on my behalf lol, as I am too. xx
I googled 'fertility support groups hampshire', where I live obv, and found an article in the hampshire chronicle about it and they suggest speaking to your GP to see what support is on offer in your area, and they give a telephone support line of 0800 008 7464 for the Infertility Network who can help. They also say counselling is a really good idea if you have no support from family and friends. Again your GP would be able to refer you for some free counselling, but could not find anything on the internet about free counselling, but lots of counsellers out there.
It may also be an idea to check your local paper as I found a support group there for my sis-in-law for tinnitus of all things.
Surprise, surprise there is not a huge amount of face to face support out there for this type of thing, but it is just another example of how people find it so easy to talk about the good side of pregnancy and not the hard side.
Hope this helps hun. Lots of Love xxx