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HOW DO U COPE?

MORNING ALL, WELL IM JUST WONDERING HOW YOU ALL KEEP SANE WITH THE NEWS OF OTHER PEOPLES PREGNANCYS? MY SIL IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH WHICH I HAVE GT USED TO (EVENTUALLY) BUT NOW HAVE HAD THE NEWS THAT HUBBYS BROTHERS GF OF LESS THAN A YEAR IS PREGNANT. I FEEL SO AWFULL FOR NOT BEING HAPPY.I JUST FEEL SO BROKEN HEARTED (WITHOUT SOUNDING PATHETIC) I JUST FIND IT REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH IT. ANY TIPS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT?

Replies

  • To be honest I have found that my reactions vary. Sometimes I can be genuinely thrilled (SiL pregnant, thrilled to bits, love having nieces and nephews). Friends/colleagues all depends where I am at. The morning I'd gone to work having had a BFN that day and an announcement was made was really tough. I now have an agreement with the assistant head, who has never had children, failed IVF etc that she gives me a heads up on these things. This allows me to react and build myself up to having the right response in front of that person. I have found I have to treat myself with kid gloves. If I can't congratulate I won't and I tell myself that is ok. Tears do come but I think that is an inherent part of IF. The stories around pregnancies vary the response as well. The friend whose marriage is on the rocks, falls pregnant, knows my struggles and happily announces to me was a bitter pill to swallow. In the end I smiled sweetly and thought she was very naive. I know it is patronising to respond like that but she really has no idea. So consumed with her own story she can't see mine.



    So, in short (!!!!!) I spend a lot of time coming up with reasons why I would not want their situation or why I am right to act like I do!!! Whatever, my reaction is always right and I can hold my head up high!!!! Self preservation!
  • thats exactly what i seem to do but then just days i cry! today tho i feel like im having a good day and i realise that there are worse situations that people are in. i have a 6 year old daughter who is amazing and a husband that loves me so much and would never do anything to hurt me.........but then theres always that little piece missing.
  • Not very well is my answer !



    me and hubby on month 15 of TTC



    and I seem to know lots of pregnant people ! ( Great NOT )

    some of who were not even with there partner when we started TTC - and they all seem to have caught straight away !



    I have some good days and some bad days - depends how hormonal I am



    I just have to look on the bright sde that I am very lucky in all other aspects of my life and thsi will happen when its meant too ! ( it had better happen soon)



    I find it hard to be either totally un interested or not too interested so i give the game away that I wish it was me ! AS MY FACE GIVES ME AWAY USUALLY



    Its very hard and I hate feeling like this !
  • twinkles im exactly the same and im also sick of ppl saying to me "it will happen"! OMG it drives me crazy!!!!
  • Hi.We have been trying just over 10 months (now in 11th cycle) and I already feel like you. For some reason all of my friends have either caught immediately or have resorted to IVF. None of them have been in the middle. This is making me feel paranoid. Since we started TTC we have had 6 people announce their pregnancies- 3 of them have given birth already and 5 of the 6 started trying after us. To start with I was excited and happy for them but as time has gone on its harder and harder to be happy. To answer your question I don't cope with it. Its certainly sorted out who my true friends are though- some are so supportive and others- so self absorbed. Good luck to you xXx
  • i find this aswell. i go over mil house and all there is, is baby talk. its devistating! i hate it!
  • Some points on this website have made me giggle about it all, well, the infertility side any how.



    http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/



    My favourite one relates to what you think when you see twins :lol:
  • I was exactly the same, i just to have a fake face id put on with a big smile!



    A friend of mine who isn't in the best of relationships, thought telling me she was 5 weeks pregnant as i told her i had just mc at 5 weeks!! So that was hard seeing her at the stages i would have been. And her baby is now 6 months old!!



    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I cope badly. If I can stop myself from telling them to "go boil your head" I'm proud of myself!!! To be honest, I am sometimes ok. I seem to have a level of acceptability. If people are older than me, have had difficulties, are in long-term relationships etc, I take it well. 3+ kids, one night stands, accidental pregnancies or people who moan about any aspect of being pregnant- absolutely no tolerance and not ashamed to admit it!!!
  • I hate it when sounds like there really interested in what you gotta say then they switch it and tell you how devastated they are they can't conceive number two or three child! Lol. Try zilch and walk a mile in my shoes then be hacked off ha ha. Now off for cup of tea lol x x
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