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Thankyou for stopping me going insane!!

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone on this forum. I have only been on it for a few days, but already I am finding it a huge help. Without it, this week I think I would've lost the plot.



I feel it has been my most disappointing month yet as I was feeling really postive after the lap and dye test I had and (thought) my instincts were telling me that this was going to be our month. Even though my CBFM was playing me up and didnt detect a peak reading (only high) for a number of days, I thought it maybe just missed it as I still had ovulation symptoms (or so I thought), and as it was over xmas we were both more relaxed and had more time for each other. Then over the last week my instincts were telling me that I was preg, but then the other day, I had my period almost a week early out of the blue :? It made me feel awful and now I believe my instincts have let me down.



Saw the consultant yday to discuss results from lap and dye and my husbands last test, both of which they cant find nothing wrong with, he actually seemed baffled as to why its not happened. I mentioned that my period came early and he wasnt sure why, but said i may not have ovulated this month. He said to monitor my cycle for 3 months and if they continue to be unpredictable and irregular then he will try me on clomid. So have to go back in 3 months. More waiting.



Everyone keeps telling me I just need to relax and not let it stress me out and it will happen, I know that but its easier said than done. I've even signed up to do the 100km London to Brighton walk in May to help take my mind off it and focus on something else. So hopefully that will help.



Has anyone got any tips as to how you can stop this taking over your life and driving you completely insane?



Sorry for waffling on, but this has been a really tough week and I needed to vent and let it out. Its hard feeling so helpless that there is absolutley nothing you can do when its the only thing you really want in the world.



Replies

  • How to stop TTC taking over your life and making you insane?... I'm not sure any of us have mastered that!



    Personally I come here to moan and rant, in the hope of hiding from my hubbie just how insane I can be at times... And to disguise my bitterness... (Floant- was that your hubbies line?!). I really am normally a nice, normal person on meeting - not the grumpy cow I am on here!



    I'm currently 9dpo, and feel like AF will appear any moment, which to be honest would be a relielf as last cycle was 60+ days.



    I think the frustration is in just not knowing. I have PCOS, but I don't really feel that gives me a reason, iykwim, because I want to have something easily fixable. Xmas has been really hard, (see my prev thread...) so I think we're all entitled to be feeling a little more insane/precious/resentful than normal at the mo.



    Hope cycles behave and you have no need for the evil clomid.



    Kx
  • In my experience when I have been 'trying' nothing happens...I only get pregnant when I stop 'trying' and instead prepare my body (so eat healthy and take folic acid) and plan on starting to 'try' again in six months. Until then we just have wreckless sex, it is sooooo hard but you just have to trick your mind, I even tell people who ask (grrrr) that we might start trying in a few months time. Good luck sweetheart x x x x x
  • Thanks MummyEms I think I'll have to try that, how many children do you have?



    And Pumpkin, I have just read your previous thread, and can totally understand how you feel when you see and hear that your friends and family are dropping babies like nobody's business. One of my closest friends has just had her 2nd baby and she caught straight away. She even said she was scared of telling me she was preg. Of course I was happy for her, but at the same time i was heartbroken that again - it wasnt me and also my brother has just had another one 7 months ago.

    I have a friend who has PCOS and she has conceived 2 children naturally, so dont ever give up hope. I think the 2nd one was conceived just before she was about to start IVF treatment.



    I agree this is a good way to hide how your really feeling from hubby, they just really do not understand.
  • I've just got pregnant with my second...I saw your post pop up on the right handside so gatecrashing really. Just wanted to say I wish you all the best of luck, cannot begin to imagine what you're going through x x x
  • Kelbel, I can't give too much advice, as to be honest, I tended to give in to my "crazy" and not beat myself up about it. It helps to come on here and vent, as you've worked out! I was just about getting to the stage of thinking that if I had one more pregnancy announcement, I wasn't sure if I could cope and I had plans to become a hermit!



    I also find making alternative plans every month, which might make me feel a bit better when I get the BFN.



    Good luck for the next few months xx
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