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hi ladies

im knocking at the door here quietly as i dont know where else to go. i found out on tuesday that our bean had not stuck. i was supposed to be about 8 weeks but i started bleeding last sunday night. im doing ok. i think, oh and i have shed a few tears but all i can think of is trying again asap. its not that i want to forget this bean i just want a baby so much that i just want to get on with it ikswim.

i had all these thoughts about when this baby would have been dues, how old my daughter would be ( just over 3). when id leave work, being pregnant at christmas. it seems so cruel that it wont happen now. i am so ready to do this agian.

can i ask how long you waited to ttc, i know there is no right or wrong about how long to wait but i just want my dream back.



  • hi stripey socks really sorry to hear of your loss, hope you're ok. i lost my little bean at thirteen weeks in may and felt the same way, all i wanted to do was start trying again and we did as soon as the bleeding stopped. i think it helped us to focus on something positive again. not had any luck yet though! i also constantly worry about the increasing age gap (dd turned two in June) but trying to think of positive things of having a slightly bigger age gap (eg. dd hopefully potty trained, not needing double buggy etc) but it us hard. i got upset yesterday because two people asked if dd is an only child - i hate that term as it insinuates that we chose to only have one. be kind to yourself and don't forget that we re always here to talk x
  • Hello stripey socks,

    So sorry to hear about your mc.

    In answer to your question, after my first mc (sept 2009) we waited for one period then tried again. Got preg after 4 months, and ds was born a year after the mc. This time (march) we didn't wait and just tried straight off. I know how you feel about having planned everything in your head. I have always wanted 2 children 2 years apart. This bean would have been 25months after his/her big brother. I'd started buying baby mags, etc, then it's all snatched away again.

    G xx
  • The age gap thing really bugs me. I want them to grow up together and I worry if too far apart they won't.y brother and I were 3 yrs apart and we were never that close.

    I've been more tearful today. I'm struggling with how I'm supposed to grieve. I know I have to work this one out but it helps to share and strangely to share with strangers. Do I box it up and think it was just a collection of cells, not a baby, focus in the next and move on. Or remember this as a lost baby who I will never meet. Remember in someway. A tree, a poem, jewellery or even a tatoo. I can't decide which way to go.

    Sorry if this sound odd or heartless. I'm just a little lost. I know where I want to be just don't know how to get there. image

    Thanks for reading x
  • Hello and big are allowed to feel lost and sad. You have been through something difficult and sad. Do grieve and do it how you want to. I found landing on the sofa with chocolate helped. And then one day after work decided to go for walk instead and have been feeling better ever since.

    Don't get me wrong you will be angry when you see pregnant women...but remember you have one wonderful child and some people never even get that...your body has told you that something was not right and our bodies are amazing at sorting things out.

    As for your brother and you, your children will be different, different parents and lifestyle..don't worry about that hun.

    Love n hugs x x x

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