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Older husband/partner?

NLW2012NLW2012
in Trying to conceive
My husband and I have been together for 9 years in Feb. He is 14 years older than me (im 26 and he's 40). Have any of you been TTC with an age gap and had problems? I became a bit worried when I read an article that said it can take upto 2 years to conceive for a man in his 40s even if his partner is mid 20s. We have been very "us" focussed in our time together with uni, homes, holidays etc and now we are married, we would like to finally make an addition to our family. I plan on coming off the pill in June (we'll have been on one last long haul holiday and i'll have been in my job a year by then) and I just don't want it to take an eternity.

Replies

  • KymboKymbo
    Theres nearly 21 years between me and my husband. Im 28 husbands 49 we ve been together for 8 years and married for 4 months. We couldnt conceive naturally as husband had a vasectomy 16 years ago. We got it reversed jn january 2012.. it failed. Had our first ICSI consultation in may 2012 and we re now having our first baby together. Hes already got 2 grown up boys at 21 and 18 and we re yet to tell them that their going to have a little brother or sister they ll be over the moon we re only 5-6 weeks just now.



    Moral of the story



    Be patient and be there for each no matter how you get your baby u will get there but it will take time
  • NLW2012NLW2012

    Thanks for yout reply Kymbo. I know it can be a long and arduous process. I would just love for me to be able to give him a child - old fashioned I know. 

     

  • KymboKymbo
    I know your frustration. I knew when we got together he d had a vasectomy.... at the time it was fine then I hit 25 and BOOM it hit our relationship like a ton of bricks firstly the shock of what I wanted and the realisation the dh wanted it to... secondly where the hell would we find ??3500 for a reversal then thirdly where would we find ??6500 for ICSI treatment.... but we got there its been a long emotional rollercoaster and im still in very early stages. You will get there for sure some of the girl on here are lovely and very supportive but the majority of people will just read and run. I got married in october and and stopped drinking after my honey moon my injections started tablets in dec for 21 days then injections for 10 days I started pregnacare in November I try to stick to organic foods and had plenty of early nights some of my friends thought it was a little extreme but its not then paying the money nor in my position. I wanted to be able to turn around and say if something went wrong that it was down to nature..... and not down to any of my actions. Desperation took the better of me and it was so worth it to find out icsi worked first time image
  • NLW2012NLW2012

    Im really pleased to read your story Kymbo. Kinda like us - we were always "us" focussed, holidays, cars, house etc. We got married on 29 Sept 2012 and now more than ever, we are ready for a family. 

    I love my hubby to pieces and what we have means more to me than anything. If nothing starts happening after 12 months of trying we'll be off to the GP but I hope it doesnt come to that.

    It's nice to see that there is someone else im a similar position. Best of luck for when you tell your hubby's sons xxx

  • KymboKymbo
    Just dont give up ull get there everyone does I hope it works for u real soon. Have either of you any children already?



    Im really excited to telk the boys just can't decide whether to tell them now or in a fee months when its a little safer......
  • NLW2012NLW2012

    Neither of us have children already and we have vowed that when I do fall pregnant, we won't tell anyone until after my first scan. Not even our parents.

    If for any reason we struggle to have children, as long as we are both happy, we will try IVF and then adoption. 

    I bet you're excited!! Sounds like they will love the idea from what you've said.

  • KymboKymbo
    We had to tell family as my husband was in afghanistan and I needed care after operations etc.... so its not a secret for us unfortunately. Its why we re tempted to tell the boys incase someone slips up, I petty anyone that slips up in my case haha im sure ur both perfectly healthy. You can buy the ovualtion tests to help you during your cycle and when your fertile im not sure how they work but someone will im sure. In the meantime just5 you both enjoy trying ...... ill have a lot to explain when I conceived whilst my husband was working abroad.... we shouldnt laugh but it will get people talking for sureimage x
  • NLW2012NLW2012

    haha, I bet indeed they will! They say patience is a virtue eh? I would be best to tell them now if you are worried. I know theyre young adults now but when my cousins daughter who is 14 found out through my cousin's friend that my cousin was having a baby, all hell broke loose. 

    I am hoping to come off the pill in June and will enjoy the trying - just for now it's practise! Haha!

  • KymboKymbo
    Haha good for you.... enjoy. It does worry me slightly ill see what the husband thinks before he returns back to Afghanistan in 10 days
  • NLW2012NLW2012

    Well best of luck with the boys - keep me posted xx

  • KymboKymbo
    And you!! GOOD LUCk xx
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