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My 41/2 year old still cries when going to school

Hi all

I feel a little embarrassed asking this question but I desperately need some advice.

My son started reception this September and he still hasn't settled down. He cries every morning saying that he doesn't want to go to school. I have explained to him that I will be there to pick him up after school and every thing but he just doesn't seem to grasp it.

Why do you think he does this and is there anything I could do to make his life easier?

Another issue we are having is he doesn't want to go out at all. He just cries and has tantrum. 

Many thanks in advance


  • I feel your pain, dd started in sept and was great. Then 2 weeks in the tears began, she then started refusing her packed lunch and hot dinners. We checked with teachers and she's fine at school, no problems with other children etc. She still cries now maybe 2 times a week. It breaks my heart to leave her but I know she is only doing it for my benefit as last time she cried she stopped all of a sudden, I was stood right behind her but had already said my goodbyes and then I realised that she thought I had gone! Were at a point now where she will eat most of her food and doesn't cry every day but does get particularly upset on pe day (comes out of school the day before crying that it's pe tomorrow) even though she loves it I think she just panics about getting dressed as they give them a time limit. We started giving her a small treat at the end of the week for being brave and a big girl if she doesn't cry every day and that worked really well. I think it's a phase, it must be really tiring for them but I'm sure they'll grow out of it, some of my friends Los have never cried and every now and then have a tearful day. Good luck x

  • I think this might be caused by the situation in school. Your kid's adaptation issues might be explained by the teacher's or peer's attitudes. You may want to talk to your child's teacher because you might not know of something that goes on in school.

  • I think the crying at school is quite common and not something you should be too worried about. My oldest cried for a long time after he first started, but then my second not at all. And you wouldn't necessarily notice a difference in that respect in their characters: neither is more outgoing than the other, neither has more friends. It is just a certain issue some children (and in my experience I have found often boys a lot more than girls) have with separation. (In my case maybe it was because me second already had his brother at the school ...)

    Regarding, the not wanting to go outside, that is different, as that wouldn't be to do with separation. I think that depends on what you think it is, exactly, about going outside that he takes objection to: the weather? activities? a particular toy/game he has to leave behind in the house? I think it important to try and work out what is exactly it is that he is adverse to, and go from there. 



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