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Please help :(

Hey ladies, I'm new to anything like this but feel so desperate image So I fell pregnant in January but sadly miscarried in February. I have no children my DH has 3. This makes this time so hard for me, I just want me and my DH to have our own bundle of joy. I was on the depo for 4 years and came off that in 2011 tried up until January this year and finally conceived, so we know we can have a baby together. Been in and out of surgery had hormone test and sperm test done and all came back fine, so what could be wrong with me? The waiting game for a hospital appointment is so depressing, I just wondered if any ladies had any information, how could we conceive so recently but now we can't ? Could it be pressure to conceive ? Thanks in advance


  • Hi Naomi, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not easy, especially when your DH has 3 already.

    I hope I can help with my experience. I had two miscarriages, I then went on to have two very healthy pregnancies. I hate to say it because it is easier said than done but it was when I gave up on the idea is when I fell with my first son. My DH had a son so I understand how hard it can get. There is hope though! Are you checking for when you ovulate so you bd at  the right time? X

  • Hi Naomi, that Is hard especially with you oh having 3. I had a miscarriage in May after trying for almost a year. Finally got pregnant on the day clear blue digital monitor showed peak but unfortunately miscarried and had to have Surgery. I think often the stress does okay a part in preventing it happening and sometimes just keep missing ovulation. I wouldby give up but try and relax, easier said than done hopefully you get you bfp soon and get some answers too
  • Hey Naomi, I have to agree with the ladies above, I'm sure stress/pressure affects your ability to conceive. I know there is nothing more annoying then to hear people say "relax and it will happen" but it is often true.

    DH and I had 2 miscarriages and difficultly conceiving after that. We had fertility testing and it found nothing wrong. We were scheduled to do a cycle of IUI so we felt there was no pressure to conceive and it happened all on its own. We had our baby girl 2 and a half weeks ago image
  • Wow thank you for all your responses! I didn't expect to receive any!

    Rach2186 sorry for you losses but very happy for your two happy pregnancies!

    Had an appointment with the GP today, she us putting us forward for fertility investigation although we could be declined 1 because we convinced together in January and 2 it's not been quite 2 years since we started trying. DH feels happy with the progress but I know the wait ahead is long and frustrating, before I fell pregnant I had a scan of my ovaries to test for pcos and result was small cysts on each of them, they don't explain further than that! Was only a week off my gynaecologist appointment when I found I was pregnant so obviously didn't attend. Timing eh!

    I was looking for signs of Ovulation and other than a few mild pains nothing, no EWCM, only know this month do I have the knowledge of my day 21 test so really going to do the BD ALOT around then. We BD every other day anyway but I've told DH we will be going twice a day haha! I was having 70+ day cycles but since I MC dropped to 29 days so very regular doctor says it's something good to come out of something dreadful I guess she is right but doesn't make it any easier. I often read these forums and see people's happy endings I just want the same, find myself getting so frustrated with it all just want my rainbow baby. I try not to think about it and just take it easy and enjoy all the fun of trying but it over powers me. I spoke with DH earlier and said I wanted to stop trying for a few months, he said he can't and he will do everything in his power to give us our baby, but I know even if we did say we weren't trying my mind would be telling me we are. I've tired focusing on other things but just doesn't work.

    I do find speaking with other people, people who truly understand the trauma of having a MC much more comforting so thank you ! Xx
  • Fingers crossed that you get somewhere with the fertility treatment! It may take time but it's worth remembering all these happy endings were once at the same point as you. I really didn't think I was ever going to have children after my first two miscarriages. It's hard hearing about other people having healthy pregnancies and seeing everyone with babies but I got through it and came out the other side and so will you.

    It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help your chances. Apparently more than once a day harms your chances though as quality of sperm is reduced. So at least your DH can have chance to recoup! If you are finding you have lack of ewcm it might be worth looking at preseed. A lot of people rave about it and you can buy it on amazon.

    I know it really is easy said than done but try not to let the focus all be on ttc. X
  • It's so hard I feel like everyone is pregnant but Me image

    She told me would could get declined and we won't be able to have ivf funded due to husband already having kids image

    I guess it Is just a waiting game. A very hard long waiting game image thanks for your responses! X
  • Aww, I know how horrible that can feel. You just have to have faith that it will happen. So many people get told they can't have children and end up with a healthy baby. You know you can fall pregnant so at least that isn't the issue. And as horrible as it is miscarriages are so common. It doesn't mean that you can't go on to have a healthy baby. In the meantime have fun trying! Sending lots of baby dust your way! X

  • That's how I feel like I'm never going to get our baby, I just thought it would be try and then we would get, how nieve was I.

    How do you stop thinking about it ? Makes me so sad image x
  • I don't think you truly can stop thinking about it. Not when you want something so badly. Best way is to distract with something else or focus on a different aspect of bding. Enjoy it rather than it be about making a baby. The less focus you put on it the easy it becomes. Find a hobbie to fill the 2ww and hopefully if you find something distracting enough one day you will just realise your period is late and it be because you are pregnant. In an ideal world right? I really do feel for you though. I still remember how hard it was. image xx

  • Yes just trying to block it now and at least we get a shot at it every month due to my now very regular 29 day cycle. We go on holiday in a couple of weeks so focusing on that a little lol xx
  • A holiday will a great distraction and hopefully make you relaxed about the whole ttc. Regular periods are great too. At least you know when to bd! I'm on cd35 or dpo 10 if I did ovulate when my temps say. Really thought af was on its way but not had any cramping today so now I'm back to second guessing if and when af is due! X

  • I haven't tried the temping route I'm just simply having regular BD ! what's your way ? I'm guessing you have to do a few months to find a pattern ? X
  • Well I'm still in my first month but fertility friends app gives you lessons via email and I've asked questions on another thread which has been really helpful. You basically take your temp as soon as you wake up in the morning. Your temp dips just before ovulation and then goes right up. The app works out your most likeliest ovulation date and sets a cover line. When you dip below your cover line it usually means period is imminent. A slight dip can mean implantation and if your temps stay above cover line after expected period date it can be a sign of pregnancy. I'm still learning but so far I think I've got the general gist. Only trouble with this method is you don't learn of ovulation until the day after so you need to look out for other signs until you've got a few months charts to compare. Based on all of this I reckon af is just round the corner for me as my temps dropped right down this morning. X
  • Hey ladies I don't know if anyone can help but yesterday was my Ovulation day, I started have like a very light pink discharge not enough to wear anything , I have read about something called Ovulation spotting but don't know how true it is ? If it's not that what else could it be ? Too soon for implantation bleeding ? My last period was only 15 days ago? X
  • Hi naomi, its not necessarily too early for implantation bleeding (if you ovulate early and implant early) but it is much more likely to be ovulation bleeding. This can happen...equally it could just be random mid-cycle spotting...I get this sometimes. If your ovulating - good luck and get bd-ingimage

  • Was it just bleeding or did you have pains as well? Are you sure you ovulated then or could it have been earlier? Fingers are tightly crossed it's good news but if it is ovulation bleeding then that's a good sign too! At least you know you ovulated and that will in turn lead to a bfp very soon!! X
  • I've had some mild pains what I can only explain as like someone is poking me right below my belt button but yesterday I had some mail mild pains in my left side, woke up this morning and an again strange unexplainable pain but I thought maybe I'd slept funny. I can't guarantee I ovulated yesterday I use something called period tracker and that says my day, and just assumed this pain and blood was tied to Ovulation. Oh implantation bleeding I wish image we did the BD Monday and last night and plan to BD EVERYTHING night for the rest of the week. I just hope it's good news.

    I'm stuck at work but have an horrible urge to go to toilet all time and check if the blood is red yet. It's what I'm expecting to happen tampons at the ready an all! Still light pink atm though :/ x
  • Sorry for typos! On my phone lol x
  • Oh better add as well I have like a mild aching pain on my public bone whether this is tied in or not I'm unsure. I have never experienced any Ovulation symptoms not even CM but Google says Ovulation spotting means a could strong fertile egg image my husband is going crazy with excitement we just can't keep calm which is bad, shouldn't get worked up lol x
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