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Some days are just so much harder than others.


well... As the title suggests... Today is one of those tough days for me! I can go for days feeling ok... Strong & positive about the future & then other days I just feel so sad about it, can't stop crying & couldn't tell you why today, where its come from... It just hits me! image.

we lost our first baby in january... Missed miscarriage... I should've been 9 weeks but discovered baby had not developed past 6.

lost our second in june at 9 1/2 weeks after a scan at 8 weeks was 'perfect' ( growth, heartbeat etc) according to the sonographer.

i feel so sad about our 2 lost babies & also so sad for the future thinking it might never happen for us when i long so badly to be a mother. It just seems so unfair sometimes! I want to try again but am just so scared that we will lose another baby. I've had blood tests done & all came back normal so doctor just advises to try again & hope for a good outcome! It's just so hard! 

Feeling scared too about coping with my feelings as my husband is deploying for 4 months in 3 weeks time & i don't have any family or good friends where we live image

anyone who has been through anything similar & can just talk it through i would love to hear from you x


  • Sw, so sorry that you're feeling down, haven't got much advice except that it will pass and I'm sure that you will get your sticky bean eventually. I don't have any close family either and I am always envious of those who do, where abouts do you live?

    If it's any consolation I had 3 miscarriage before my first, and the 4 in between first and second although it was easier in some ways because I had a known genetic defect so I knew that all the losses were for a reason. I'm not sure that I can say that it gets easier, just that you have less bad days.

    Talk to me any time x x x

  • I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I can relate. I myself am having a tough day and feel the way you do.  I just suffered a miscarriage on July 24th.  I was 12 weeks along and everything was going well. I went in for my regular checkup and they could not find a heartbeat.  The baby measured 11 weeks, 5 days. I've had a total of five miscarriages, this was my fourth consecutive one.  My husband and I are devastated.  We are currently waiting for the fetal testing results and setting up an appointment with a reproductive specialist.   We have two boys, ages 14 and 10, between them I had a molar pregnancy.  I want another baby so badly, I'm heartbroken. Its so hard, especially when you don't know why this keeps happening.  Just remember you are not alone.  There are so many women in the same situation.  If you need to talk I'm here, I know exactly how you feel.

  • Thankyou so much to both of you... I really do appreciate having somewhere to talk to ladies who (sadly) know exactly what I'm feeling / going through. I dont know why some times it just randomly hits me & i get so upset but at least its not all the time & I'm trying to just get on with things.

    i am so so sorry to both of you for your many losses.... It is just such a painful process to go through & to hold the memories of our lost babies. thankyou to both of you for sharing your stories... It does give me some hope that even if we have multiple miscarriages, the same person can also have healthy pregnancies... I hope & pray i'll get my baby for keeps one day.

    mrsboysmum... I'm english but now live in america as my husband is in the us air force. My family are all still in england & his family do not live close by (its a quick flight or a 15hour drive!). Ive had plans to visit my family a couple times this year but then with the pregnancies & miscarriages those got cancelled so its been so long since ive seen them. 

  • People can be so bloody insensitive!! Met with a friend for coffee this afternoon... She knows about the miscarriages so starts asking how i'm doing etc which is hard but im ok with people asking...but she then goes on to question whether we have thought about adoption yet. I didnt get upset infront of her but that really did upset me... of course she has children of her own so its easy for her to say i should think about adoption!! people go the 2 extremes from blindly telling me 'everything will be fine next time' to thinking its ok for me to give up & adopt!. Im absolutely not against the idea of adoption but its like a stab to the heart to think that i may end up never having a child of my own too. People who are blessed enough to have children & no miscarriages just really have NO clue & can say the most insensitive things!! image

  • Oh no SW, that's awful, it's difficult when people mean we'll, my daughter in law says stuff that's meant well all the time, both about pregnancy and about the's so hard not to just say shut up you obviously have no idea what you're talking about!

    You really are a long way away from your family, and it must be really hard with your man going away! Where in the UK are you from? 

  • You're right mrsboysmum... I know they mean well.... I'll just have to imagine that i'm giving them a good slap round the chops & telling them to shut it! image.

    i was born in doncaster but mostly grew up in wiltshire. Where abouts are you? 

  • Hey, i m sorry to hear abt your losses. I faced the same 3 recurrent m/cs and going to get some blood tests done next month to find out abt the reason for these. I have a beautiful daughter a 5 yrs old with my first pregnancy in 2009.

    I havent shared the news of m/cs with any relatives just because of the same reason, i dont want any one z sympathy for me for losing my babies.
  • Hey, just thought I would let you know that I had 2 missed miscarriages one at 6/10 weeks and the other at 11/12 weeks. I know how it feels to feel like you have no one to talk to. I'm a very private person and aside from my husband (who eventually I didn't want to bother with it any more) I just couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. I got very depressed and eventually went to counseling which did help a little.

    Anyway the reason I wanted to post is to offer some hope. After 2 miscarriages and months of fertility testing nothing was found to be wrong. I got pregnant in November 2013 and gave birth to my precious baby girl 2 weeks ago. After my miscarriages I was certain something was wrong with me or that I did something wrong. Try to have some hope, I know it sucks but these things unfortunately do happen, but it doesn't mean you can't or won't have your baby some day.

    Wishing you all the best
  • Thankyou Charley! My story is very similar to yours & like you, its hard not to worry / think there is something wrong with me / that it will keep happening... It gives me a little hope to hear you then went on to have a healthy pregnancy... I have to try & think to myself that this will be the case for me too...i truly hope so!  Thankyou for sharing

  • So happy my story helped you a little. When I got pregnant the 3rd time I was so happy and terrified at the same time. I was sure I would miscarry again and had a hard time enjoying my pregnancy in the beginning. When I went to my 12 week scan and everything was perfect I was so happy that I couldn't stop crying.

    I hope you get your BFP and a happy healthy pregnancy very soon
  • Another really tough day.... Or week i should say! image. My first baby's due date was yesterday so that has been constantly on my mind & making me feel so sad that i should now be home with my baby... & my husband leaves tomorrow on deployment to afghanistan for 4 months so not only is it going to be tough without him but ive also not felt able to talk to him about how ive felt this week as i dont want him worrying about me while he's gone image

  • SW2 hi huni just seen your post, i can understand how your feeling i have gone through both my babies due dates this year, its hard and even tho i got my bfp 3 days after my first due date it still didnt make dealing with it any easier.

    I can say with my hand on my heart and i hope no one takes offence because im not a narsty person, iv found it hard to bond with my bump as im sure things will go wrong if i do, i know im now on the final run down but it still dont feel real and some times i think to my self whats wrong with me! 

    Febuary and july this year was hard, on the days my babies where due i lite a candle for the day as a mark of respect to my little lost angles image it did sort of help but still found it hard on the day.

    I know im lucky to have fallen so quickly again, but i dont think il be able to relax till his here.

    I find it very hard to talk to my other half as well, he wont talk about things and im sure he was also hurting on those days but i felt like i had no support from him, he just seemed to make out it was a normal day like nothing had happened.

    It must be very hard having your hubby leave for 4 months! i dont know how i would cope if i had to go that long with out seeing my other half, if you ever wanna chat you know where i am huni xxxxxx

  • Thanks for the support Sarah. What you're saying makes perfect sense... I can totally understand why you've found it difficult to bond with your bump as you've been through losses & have been scared the same thing will happen... As you say you are on the home stretch now though... You'll have to post a pic for us to see your bundle when he arrives image x

  • i will huni dont worry, and even tho im on the home stretch doesnt mean i will be turning my back on all you lovely ladies! iv made a promise that i will support you all they way and il be sticking by it image xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Well today is another one of those days! The last few weeks have been pretty tough In general... Had the double whammy of my husband leaving for his 4month deployment & our 1st baby's due date being the same week... Add to that that im in a foreign country, no family here, no close friends, a job i hate.... I think i do pretty well at staying strong most of the time. Today though i got a phone call from the nurse at the new parent support project on base asking me how things were going with our new baby at home... Clearly the agencies here don't communicate! I have been a mess the rest of the day & just want to curl up & cry & cry. Everytime i seem to start to heal, something happens to re-open the wound!! When will it stop???!!!! image

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