hysterical crying at bedtime and cries when put down to sleep. please help?
Hi guys,
I am having a real problem with bedtime still. Each night we do Daniel's bath and massage then when I put him down he's perfectly happy for a while but then begins to cry. If I try leave him it escalates so I pick him up to comfort him then put him down when he's quiet, then he'll cry again and i'll pick him up to comfort him but instead of calming down he'll just carry on crying ... hysterically. Last night he cried for an hour and eventually I gave him the breast just to calm him down as he was inconsolable and he fell asleep instantly.
I have no idea how to break this pattern as it literally happens every night and now he seems incapable of falling asleep calmly at any time. even when I put him in his Moses basket to sleep during the day he'll be happy and then cry and then after being comforted he'll cry when put down.
Have you got any experience of this or helpful suggestions please?
Thank you.
X x
I am having a real problem with bedtime still. Each night we do Daniel's bath and massage then when I put him down he's perfectly happy for a while but then begins to cry. If I try leave him it escalates so I pick him up to comfort him then put him down when he's quiet, then he'll cry again and i'll pick him up to comfort him but instead of calming down he'll just carry on crying ... hysterically. Last night he cried for an hour and eventually I gave him the breast just to calm him down as he was inconsolable and he fell asleep instantly.
I have no idea how to break this pattern as it literally happens every night and now he seems incapable of falling asleep calmly at any time. even when I put him in his Moses basket to sleep during the day he'll be happy and then cry and then after being comforted he'll cry when put down.
Have you got any experience of this or helpful suggestions please?
Thank you.
X x
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Replies
Also do you use a dummy? If he's using your breast as a comforter it could help.
Another thing that helps calm my little one down is a mobile.
You could also try doing the bedtime routine slightly later and gradually bring it forward as he might be a little more tired then.
He's still quite young though so try not worry to much if he falls asleep on the breast. Hope he settles soon xx
After weeks and weeks of this I tried raising his matress slightly and putting him on his side rather than his back ( I know this isn't recommended though!) and he slept so much better. He suffered with wind quite a bit and looking back now I'm sure he also had a bit of reflux. we couldn't put him in his cot awake until he was about 5 months old and he would then self settle, It was like he just grew out of the wind and reflux problems. I used to either have to BF his to sleep or rock him. Only problem with BF to sleep was then he would wake up again later with wind.
I also second the white noise advice. If he was screaming in the day I used to (and still so sometimes 10 months later) put the hoover on and it instantly calms him.
Good luck and don't worry it won't last forever
xx
I just wanted to say that we had the exact same problem but instead of falling asleep on the bood she would only fall asleep on me. I had to go to bed with her on my chest every night. Then all of a sudden without us doing anything she allowed us to but her down I her cot! Now at 12 weeks it is getting easier and easier and it I really think it is nothing more than she is a bit older! I just couldn't believe it when she went to sleep in her cot, we were gobsmacked!
Just give it a few more weeks and see what happens! I really know how you feel as my little one cried so much we thought it would never end.
Xx
thanks for your posts. I did as you suggested, white noise, raised one end of bed, rocked and shushed, tried dummy etc but nothing has helped... in fact this morning for the first time I had the hysterical crying usually only reserved for night so now I just don't know what I am doing wrong or what i did to make my baby this way?!!!
He is 11 weeks on tuesday and it only seems to be getting worse not better. this morning I tried to put him down and he cried so i tried to pick him up and shush him but he just didn't stop crying (really upsetting when you're supposed to be his mommy and able to comfort him) so I gave him the dummy and he still cried behind it. then he fell asleep for 10 min, woke up crying and I thought I'd leave him for a minute to see if he would stop but it just escalated and i picked him up and he was just hysterical, dummy or not!
Oh my goodness what do i do to get my baby to sleep normally????
From my own experiance I would say for the moment give your baby what he wants, and don't worry about self settling etc for the minute.
I was worried that I would teach him bad habits but everything just sorts itslef out in the end, and you get one routine sorted and things change again anyway.
If you are really worried you could see your GP or HV for some advice, maybe it is something like reflux and he may need some meds. Go with your insticts and don't be too hard on yourself it's perfectly normal and he is still only very young.
xxx
I have never left my baby to cry and always done what he needs to be comforted, and like jellytots I have no issues whatsoever, he's not clingy, falls asleep himself when he's not ill, is independant, goes to nursery full time etc etc.
If you feel stressed as you are worried there is something wrong I would get it checked out but if you are just worried that he should be self settling I really wouldn't worry at this stage.
xxx
Jellytots, I really appreciate your bluntness and I totally agree with what you're saying but it's not just that I want to put him down and he cries - he just doesn't go to sleep at all and then cries because he's overtired. I would be more than happy for him to fall asleep on me (in fact it would make me feel GREAT that I can comfort him like that) but he just doesn't. If I try hold him and just shush him then he starts kicking around with his legs and eventually cries. I have also tried just rocking him and that doesn't send him off either, he'll just cry for ages and not go to sleep.
He is now in the habit of being awake for 4.5 hours before he goes down, which totally stresses me out as it can't be good for his little body!
Yesterday he woke up from an afternoon sleep at 5.30pm, was fed at 6pm, bathed at 7.15pm and put down at 7.30pm but he didn't sleep until 10pm (I fed him at 9.30pm as it had been 3.5 hours since his last feed. He then only slept 5 hours until 3am, was fed, then slept until 6am and was fed at 6.30am. We have been doing a bedtime routine every single night for about 3 or 4 weeks now and it doesn't seem to magically send him off to sleep as all the books/people say it will!
I was really upset the other day because he was tired and I could hear the overtired cry so I just held him and sang to him and it just didn't settle him, he just carried on crying and it makes me feel rubbish that as his mother at least that should work and I should comfort him like no other.
Thank you again to all of you for your posts, I appreciate your comments more than you know!!
xxx