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Am I in the wrong?

hi, I'm new here and have never posted anywhere at all, the fact that I am now is because I feel emotionally at the end of the line and need to try something. my partner and I have been ttc for 6 years, with one miscarriage at 9 weeks 7 months ago. I am soon to turn 33. 2 months after my miscarriage my partners brother rang him to say that him and his partner were expecting. My problem here is my would be SIL, who has always been very negative towards me. When my partner and I got engaged she was very very rude, refused to acknowledge it or muster up a congratulations. I have always tried to be very caring and sympathetic towards her, and when she announced her engagement shortly afterwards I did the mature thing by making a big fuss of her. So here is my issue, since her pregnancy I have experienced zero compassion or empathy over our fertility problems, in fact she seems to me to enjoy capitalising on my misery e.g making the big sex of the baby reveal with scan pics on facebook with no prior sensetive pre warning (this on the same ish week we would have been due)  no message or contact even when she found out I miscarried( she was pregnant by this time) or any contact whatsoever.She is being so cold, I would never treat her this way.Am I wrong to expect my partner to have a word and lessen my suffering, or am I in the wrong and should just take it all, to avoid other people having their nose put out and expect my partner to speak up for me and risk upsetting his family (which he is very reluctant to do for me)all im wanting is a little empathy and sensetivity. I'm just in a world of pain and need some perspective. am I the selfish one like my partner has suggested?? Please help


  • Hi Billie82, I am so sorry for your loss and to hear how you are feeling and being treated by your SIL. I don't think you are in the wrong at all, and it is a shame you are in a situation where you feel you cannot say anything yourself or that your OH is not being as supportive of your feelings as he could be (he was out of order to call you selfish). Do you have anyone else you can talk to about how you are feeling, or can put some distance between you and your SiL for now? i really hope you can resolve the situation, please let us know how everything goes. xx

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