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Are boys inherently different to girls character wise?

Sammy is what you'd call a 'typical boy'. He loves being outside, getting muddy, anything physical and has a fairly short attention span. I don't think we've deliberately encourages this really. Recently H and S will have a wrestle but equally I'll sit down and do crafts etc with him.  

He's being challenging at the moment and I'm just starting to wonder how life will be with 2 boisterous boys!

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  • L and I are both like S very boisterous and Ls new favourite game is wrestling! Apparently he and a few other boys were put in the 'thinking area' at school as they kicked the legs away from a boy whilst wrestling. But Ls best friebd is very very into model making and will sit for ages and draw and make things, he's a very calming influence on L Laugh so tbh I don't think its just boys and girls, Ls best friend is very interested in Isaac, watching him crawl and do things, he's very very intricate whereas L dives on top if Isaac!!!

  • Also I wouldn't say life was more difficult with 2 boisterous boys, they both play (very roughly ) together so it helps that they occupy each other iyswim

  • N is a typical boy in many ways - SO much energy, happiest outdoors, short attention spam, not overly keen on crafts and colouring but will do a bit. He's not that loud and boisterous though, he has moments and likes rough play sometimes but nothing too intense like I've seen with other boys. He is very gentle with A most of the time too and very caring but then he has me as a SAHM so copies what I do with her. I had a friend in England with 3 boys and when they came over inevitably fights would break out and N would just stop and stare fascinated!

  • Thanks both. S does have a very caring side too and is brilliantly gentle with his baby cousin so he knows when he needs to be quieter it's just his default setting is full power!

    Hopefully the 4 year age gap might limit the fight potential a bit (although having said that me and my brother who's 3 1/2 years older than me used to fight like cat and dog!)

  • C isn't your typical boy. He hates dirt, and freaks if he gets mucky. He doesn't like sports, especially football. He chose a dance class, instead football club. All his friends (apart from 1) are girls. He has never been in to rough play. He'd rather sit and draw/paint than play with a football.  

    J is a mix. He likes rough play, but hates dirt. If he gets ANYTHING on him, he has to get a wipe, straight away.

    Both boys love their cuddles, and other Mums at the school comment on how affectionate C is.

    One of C's friends is a girl who has 4 older brothers. She acts like more of a boy than C does. She loves getting mucky, and rough play.

  • Will be reading this thread with interest...

  • Mine are so gender stereotyped it's unreal. A will play with barbies, ponies, likes her nails painted, to wear pink, puts her lip gloss on to go out, takes a handbag etc - at the age of 3 pmsl. She has also sat and done jigsaws since before she was 2, likes her crafty stuff, good attention span etc.

    J on the other hand loves getting filthy, obsessed with anything transport related, is wild, would launch a jigsaw across a room rather than attempt to do it, give him a crayon and will run to the nearest wall and scribble on it, anyone who meets him comments on him being a 'typical' boy. He does however love A's dolls, messes about with her tiaras and hairbands and asks to get his nails done when I'm doing minelol. He is very cuddly and such a mummys boy too

  • Ally

    Mine are so gender stereotyped it's unreal. A will play with barbies, ponies, likes her nails painted, to wear pink, puts her lip gloss on to go out, takes a handbag etc - at the age of 3 pmsl. She has also sat and done jigsaws since before she was 2, likes her crafty stuff, good attention span etc.

    J on the other hand loves getting filthy, obsessed with anything transport related, is wild, would launch a jigsaw across a room rather than attempt to do it, give him a crayon and will run to the nearest wall and scribble on it, anyone who meets him comments on him being a 'typical' boy. He does however love A's dolls, messes about with her tiaras and hairbands and asks to get his nails done when I'm doing minelol. He is very cuddly and such a mummys boy too

    This almost exactly describes my 2 as well!

  • Yes they are different, there is differences between the way the genders develop and learn from birth and throughout childhood and into adulthood.  

    If I wasn't totally brain dead from doing paperwork all day I would explain more.  I have some interesting research articles about this at work.  Most boys have an inherent need to behave how you have stated in your OP.  

    Sorry too tired tonight!

  • Its partly learned behaviour. We, as a society, treat boys and girls differently from a very early age. The way we talk about them, the way we let them behave is different even from the new born days. Parents are more likely to rough play with boys than girls. More likely to tell boys not to cry.

    They also observe from the female and male examples around them. If dad likes football then son will be encouraged. Mum wears make up daughter likes make up.

    They've done studies into how we treat newborns and the expressions, etc changes if they think its a boy or a girl - even if the baby is the opposite sex.

    Having said all that the boys at my daughter's school in general are boisterous, into play fighting, etc. Whereas the girls join in but they tend to more about words when ghere are disputes.

  • Knowing what has sparked this thread, I don't see my M as being much different to S. He can just run faster and was more confident in his surroundings. M would be jumping in the puddles with him if she had half the chance!

  • My daughter also loves jumping in puddles, getting muddy, rushing around. She's not that interested in dolls - even though she asked for a Barbie doll for her birthday she's hardly played with it. She loves all things craft related.

    I've noticed that most of the craft activities aimed at 5 and 6 year olds are in pink boxes and are making jewelry and girl orientated things. So they become seen as girl activities. Parents won't buy them for boys. Even though some of the boys in my daughter's class love crafts.

    I remember when we had newborns two or three of the mums saying things like 'he's a typical boy hes so lazy won't try rolling' (or whatever). And I wondered when did baby boys become associated with laziness? Do boys have a short attention span (to pick up on the OP) or is it just a small child that has a short attention span. Do we as a society label behaviours as being a gender trait - shes doing x because shes a girl - rather than just a part of them?

  • It is an interesting debate. I asked H last night if he would play wrestle with a girl and he said 'no because they aren't as tough'. I pointed out at 4 there's physically no difference generally and he then said 'oh well I suppose I would because you'd have to do the same things with them so they wouldn't feel left out.

    I noticed when I went into a riding shop at the weekend all the kids rising clothes  are pink. Why would boys not want riding things? I don't think I do different activities with S as I would a girl. We play with his teddies, read, do crafts etc

    I guess it's impossible to really ever know if it is nature over nurture

  • I don't think I've treated J any differently to A but he is just wild compared to her. Toys wise I have differentiated I guess as he has been bought trains and cars etc but they do play with each others stuff. I definitely think parenting plays a part in it

  • My boys both had their own dolls and prams. C never bothered much with "boys toys" until he became interested in Lego.

    As a kid, I hated girls toys, even growing up with my 2 very girly sisters. At 5, my parents bought me a boys blue bike, as I cried at the pink girly one (mental, considering I am now the girly one, and my little sis is a petrol head, always mucky) i chose to play in the dirt with boys in our street, than play with dolls, and put make up on.

    When C was 4/5, he'd play with his best (girl) friend, and dress up in her fairy outfits, haha.

    He is 9 now, and loves his Xbox and Lego, but he also loes sitting with me, helping me make hair slides, and jewellery.

    My Mum had issues with me buying prams and dolls for C, but she got over that, and has bought J a doll for his Birthday.

  • I was a bit the same actually. I HATED dolls. I had hundreds of teddies though as does S!

    And both me and my brother wrestled dad

  • This is an interesting thread for me as Ned is the least boisterous boy I know. He likes a bit of rough and tumble with daddy and grandad but he shys away from other boisterous boys, doesn't play rough with them, prefers to sit and play cars or trains quietly. Hates getting his hands dirty too! And hates bugs Laugh

    It's not something we've actively instilled into him, just how he is. I think he's just not one of those boys who is wired that way. I do sometimes worry I've raised a shy mummy's boy but deep down I know it's not how he's been raised, just how he is.

    He's so kind, nurturing, cuddly etc, but just doesn't have the boisterous side.

  • The nature v nurture debate is differenty to the actual development evidence - the way boys and girls' brains develop are different, the way and timing of their muscle developement is different.   So there are some differences you cannot fight or alter no matter how equally you treat them.  

  • Catrina can you expand on the developmental differences? It sounds interesting.

  • my son is a 'typical' boy - full of energy, loves sport, play fighting etc. but as he has grown older that's toned down, still loves it but also enjoys reading & has several friends who are girls who he chats with.  my daughter, who is younger, was more into sitting & doing quiet activities, staying clean, didn't like playing with boys that much, but as she gets older she is getting more loud & outgoing  and playing more with some of the quieter boys.  some of her girl friends are much more into dressing up, makeup etc. which she still isn't into yet.  she told me once she doesn't like 'fashion style' and so far isn't too fussed about what she wears.  

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