Son ducking school for birth. WWYD?
Hoping for a home birth. One huge factor in that was not being totally removed from my son (and dog) for X hours/days. Son is 17 but no car so if we offed to the hospital he'd be at home with the dog and then be reliant on people to bring him to see baby and to be perfectly blunt I don't really care about anyone else meeting Baxter than him. If the others (our parents, siblings, friends) are a few days I'm fine with that.
Harry knows my labour with him was fairly quick (first sign of impending labour was vomiting and diarrhoea, 6 hours later he was out), and we all - naturally - hope this one will be speedy. He's asked me for a letter he can carry at school so that once he gets The Text he can show his teacher, hop on his bike and be home in 20 mins. I explained he might not be in my room all that much, just popping in briefly, but he wants to be around (think he can be a worrier) in case we need anything, he can look after/walk the dog and just generally be a part of it all, even if not totally present. I really do understand, he and I are close and he's been an only child all this time, to be honest I'd be hurt if he didn't show interest.
But I'm quite zero tolerance about skipping school. I really think attending is so important and it's my job as parent to be strict about it. He missed half a day once due to the flight times going to Iceland, and our Australia trip was timed around his tern so he only missed 2 days (although it ended up being a week anyway due to volcano ash!).
He's going in to AS exam season and isn't exactly devoting himself to his studies, lol.
Am I being mean for even hesitating? Should I support him coming home? Or should I make him see out the day at school (if we start labour during the day) in case I labour much longer this time and he misses school for nothing? WWYD?
Replies
If you were to go into labour whilst he was at school would he not be better off staying at school...you might have baby quickly but you might not...he would still be first person to see the baby when he returned..just a thought..if you go into labour overnight it may be different x x
My gut feeling is giving him the letter. You two are so close and by the sound of it with your H too you are a very close unit. The one time in the world you won't want your son to feel he was left out is for the arrival of his sibling. He is beyond the age where he turns up home from school and you present the baby mummy had whilst he was out. I think that he has asked means really you need to leave the option with him. All I'd be worried about is him being in the house, hearing you in a lot of pain and him panicking? He obviously thinks the world of you so it won't be too nice for him hearing what's going on, or you even worrying for him at the time? I'd have a chat with him and lay it all out but ultimately let him be In the next room if he wants to be.
I think you should give him the letter...but perhaps with the discussion that you or H will let him know how it's going and if things are moving fast he can use it, but if it's looking on the slow side and it's 1/2pm he stays in school until the end of the day. Also, is there a chance it might happen during the Easter hols (if Baxter isn't on time), in which case he'll be around anyway.
If he stays in school but knows you're in labour he's going to be no use to anybody anyway so it's pointless him being there! Give him the letter. Not all education happens at school and sometimes it's much more valuable to be out of school; this is definitely one of those times. In future years he's either going to remember the day he rushed home and his sibling was born, or the day he had to stay in school - which will he be more grateful for?
You ladies speak a lot of sense. I think I over-think this stuff! I make a concerted effort to trust him to make decisions about his medical treatment, education etc ordinarily and he's asked for this so I should let him make that choice. And he's not really the sort to use it as an excuse. If he had something important to finish he wouldn't just sod off.
I'll do him the letter, thanks!!
Flossy - you scared me with talk of Easter. I mean, *rationally* I know it's a possibility but, well, I'm ready now! ha ha!!