'Starter parent' friends? Do you have any? Would you like some? Come and tell us what you think!
Hello
We've been reading an article by new-dad and Guardian journalist Stuart Heritage, in which he says the secret of successful parenting is to get yourself some 'starter parents'.
Starter parents are other parents who have a baby exactly 3 months older than you – which means they'll have loads of advice and tips and moral support to give you, having only just been through everything you're going through now.
"Once you find a set of starter parents," says Stuart, "your life will be 10 times easier. Choose wisely and they’ll provide you with so much: moral support; practical advice; a sounding board; developmental prompts; a carrier bag full of old clothes. The list goes on."
Do you like Stuart's idea? Do you have any 'starter parent' friends? And do you value their advice and support?
Or perhaps you think you're doing just fine on your own? Because we all know how annoying other parents' advice can be at a times...
Or maybe you think the support of a parent whose baby is the same age as yours is the most valuable?
Do please let us know what you think. We'd love to know!
Replies
I can see how this could work but it depends on the type of people involved.
When we had our 1st I was 18 and everyone was very free with advice and opinions and it left me very depressed and feeling like a bad mom - because why would these people be telling me how to do it if I was doing it right????
It took a while but I just had to say back off ! It's my baby and up to us to find the best way to do something so it works for us !
My favourite phelrase seemed to become I hear you and will remember that but for now we're good thanks !
Since then we've had more kids and are expecting #6 and I have mentored some younger moms who asked for advice on everything and some who have just tried everything and need another opinion so I think everyone needs someone ( who has been there and done it before ) but only to be involved at their comfort level.
My best friends daughter is three months older than my son we met wen I gave birth after going to same school and never really talking she helped me so much in the early days and still does now xx
We have some friends with older children then our baby. We've been friends before any of us had children. It does help to have them around, but I don't think I could go on a "friends hunt" just to find someone with an older baby. 😊