I don't know anymore...:'(

My bf and I have been wanting a baby for so long and have been trying.. There's moments when we think I am and have signs of pregnancy and in few weeks late. Then I'm bout to take a test and then I have a few weird cramps almost almost or weird feeling n stomach and then my period starts.. This time I didn't have period for 12 days past time I should of had it along with symptoms I was so happy because I thought this was finally it.. Then I get that odd feeling and slight cramps on and off come home from work and notice it looks so far like a light period.. I'm wanting to cry.. I always see all thses families and mothers and we want to have a child and be a family so bad.. Then there are moms who don't care for or treat their child right or don't want their child.. I'd love to have one.. And I'm scared it won't happen..that's all I want.. <\3