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6 months post baby, no longer happy or in love

II had a fairly easy pregnancy, the worst I had was swollen feet. The labour and birth was more complicated but we got through it. My OH was great after bub was born. Really helpful and lovely, doing everything for the both of us.

Fast forward a few months and I become irratable and frustrated. I was getting enough sleep and bub was great. My problem was with everything my OH did.

Now 6 months have passed, im back at work a few days a week which Im really enjoying. The problem is I have no feelings towards my husband anymore. Everything he does is annoying. I have 0 interest in sex anymore. Nothing gets me going, I can't even 'help' myself.

We are constantly disagreeing about everything and are both clearly unhappy. We've been together for 4.5yrs and married for 1. We have a business together and are looking to buy a new bigger home. I dont want to separate, i want my baby to know his dad and for him to have a sibling at some point. But Im so worried eventually we will both just give up.

My OH has already said sex is a big part of our relationship and that will end us if I dont give it to him every now and then. I feel so trapped. I know others feel the same but I just want a magic solution.

Replies

  • Maybe a trip to the gp could help. There can be a bounce back of hormone levels around 6 months. A new baby I'd a big change and sex is the easiest thing to give up but if you don't want to separate you'll need to take steps to work on your relationship. Maybe arrange a babysitter and do a date night or an overnight stay somewhere. 

  • Hi Hun, sorry to hear you feel this way. I went through the same thing, my husband and I separated for most of last year but we got back together. We have talked and talked and talked and everything that has happened is out in the open, we are putting the past behind us and we're stronger then ever!! I do not recommend splitting up or taking a break because we were close to divorce and not many people can get back from that. My advice to you is tell him how you feel, be it in person or letter or email. As horrible as it is and as much as I'm sure you do not want to hurt his feelings you need to tell him everything you are feeling. You can't help your feelings but you can help what you do about them. Tell him what you want for things to change how you can compromise to make you happy. No he shouldn't have to change but you both do need to in some ways to meet in the middle. Believe me communicating is key!! 

    Once it's all out in the open and you've both made changes things will start to develop again and you will grow a new love, if it doesn't work you can say you have tried! Don't just accept your feelings and throw it away becaude there might be something to hold onto. For your baby, your family, your business and your house.

    good luck and I hope you're ok

    fi x 

  • I think, dear, it happens to many women. It is a very good advice to change something. Maybe go on vacation, do something romantic together. Maybe you need to switch your activity or find a new hobby. I think you are just tired and bored of the same lifestyle. But if you love each other, you should keep it real!

    P.S. To give sex, when your partner wants, sounds a bit rough. But is it like this in your life or it has just slipped off your partner's tongue?   

  • Hi I know this is an old thread but I just wondered if things got better for you? 

    Im in a similar situation we haven’t been together as long and aren’t married but had our 7 month old quite fast. I used to be so in love with him but having our daughter seems to have changed the way I feel for him. I have been honest which hurt him but thought I had to say how I felt so we could both work on it. I think we need time alone as our whole world is now our daughter but he’s been quite useless at arranging his parents to babysit and mine don’t live near I am staying with him hopefully things will get better but feel like it may always be like this x

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