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Help after a loss

Just wanting someone to chat to really feeling lost and numb. 

Back in August last year 11th to be exact (we remember every date) I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. Heartbroken is s mild way of putting it. 2 days after I was home I got straight into work locked it away in a box and carried on. 

A year later it all happened again. This time I was given methatrexate, worst drug ever never again. I cried the day they told me and brought everything flooding back. They left me 3 weeks before giving me the drug. In that time I have become numb. I am bleeding now which thought would bring some emotion but nothing I'm dry. I'm 32 and would love 1 more but this has literally changed me. And I don't think I could go through it again. I know this is long winded but I feel alone at the minute. And tired of comments. "You have kids think yourself lucky" etc. I have 2. And they are my world but them  comments That doesn't help. 

Please tell me I'm not going be a numb ice queen for the rest of my life. X

Sorry again for so much writing x

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