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Help! My daughter wants to be called a different name. Is this normal?

Hi ladies, I'm currently having a few problems with my newly turned 5 year old LG. For a long time, she has wanted to be called different names. I know a lot of little girls want to 'change' their names. It's been going on since she was about 2 and I believe it's just a phase and it always seems to come and go. She started Reception in September and we have been having issues again since then. On her first ever day of big school, she was there for just the morning. When I came to pick her up, I heard she had hurt 3 other girls including one blonde girl in her class. The mum of the blonde girl was still talking in class with her and the teachers, and I wasn't happy. She would push the little girl and follow her around, write her name like it was her own. Thankfully this phase disappeared and now they are friends! I am aware of my daughter hurting smaller children because she is jealous that they are smaller and she is obsessed with how they look and because of that, their names grow on her and she insists on being called them. It was the next week or so she left the other little girl alone. It was only after her 5th birthday that we knew about a newer girl that she hurts. She named the Baby Annabelle doll she received for her birthday the newer girls' name. She later insisted we called her the newer girl's name and as soon as I refused, she climbed up her bunk bed and started crying. I asked her if there is someone called that in her class, and she said yes. I asked for the class list and we read out lots of names and the girl's name wasn't on there, so I was like she is not in her class and she said they forgot to add the name to the list. We found out what our daughter said was not true and was told she is in the 3rd Reception class. She has even started 'stealing' things from the girl with the name and again, following her around and hurting her. At this point, I have still refused to call her the name she chose for herself and told her she is not allowed to change her name and she is her real/given name and that's it. When we take her places like soft play she even tells other children that her chosen name is her name so they will call her that! She even writes the name on plain stickers and sticks it on her uniform as they did when everyone was new, but the school refuses to call her that but a very close protective friend of my daughter does. Please help, it's getting on my nerves now. I hope it goes away by Christmas.

Replies

  • Oh, I remember this. When my daughter was 3 she wanted to be called Katie. We were told there was an older girl with that name who went to the nursery and wore braids in her hair. She insisited to be called the name for a good while and wear braids (she especially wanted it for the braids). We decided to call her that and braid her hair to make her look like the girl in nursery. She wanted to be called that even after the girl left for a little while longer, then later switched to a new girl's name. If she is really insistent and is obsessed or jealous of the girl, then call her that. That's just my opinion. And it's not just girls who do this!

  • Hello there. I think your child is undergoing some psychological issues. I feel she envy the girls that she wants to share a name with them. From my perspective, she wants to be like them. Whenever she sees a new girl with traits that she wants to posses then she also wants to be called her name. This is the reason she changes name every time a new girl comes along and feels she is better than her. If really she wanted a different name then she could not be changing the name every now and then. Furthermore she cannot change her name right now. If she feels not comfortable with that name wait till when she is old enough. Try to understand she is a child and does not make sound judgment. She might shift to even more that ten names before she comes to her senses. If she persist with these behavior then it is time you give her a listening ear,

  • Think your child is undergoing some psychological issues. I feel she envy the girls that she wants to share a name with them. From my perspective, she wants to be like them. Whenever she sees a new girl with traits that she wants to posses then she also wants to be called her name. This is the reason she changes name every time a new girl comes along and feels she is better than her. If really she wanted a different name then she could not be changing the name every now and then. Furthermore she cannot change her name right now. If she feels not comfortable with that name wait till when she is old enough. Try to understand she is a child and does not make sound judgment. She might shift to even more that ten names before she comes to her senses. If she persist with these behavior then it is time you give her a listening ear,

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