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Pregnant after miscarriage



  • Congrats for today oborne glad everything is ok with your bub! 😁 Has the bleeding completely stopped now? 

    Lisil, I'm there with you Hun! Since passing viability, I've stopped worrying about miscarriage and now I can't stop worrying about stillborn or preterm labour 😔😕 I guess the rest of the pregnancy is going to be a worry, I've accepted that now. Fingers crossed it doesn't drag too much now. I've got 12 weeks exactly until due (28 Weeks today) but it feels like I've got another year to go! 

    Hope everyone is well 😘❤️

  • Fabulous news Oborne, is this the longest you have carried for other than you 2 girls? 

    How are you feeling this evening Lisl? 

    I also can’t feel anything from the outside, but being a larger lady, there is a layer of fat to get through first......

    also bo rhythm to movement, yesterday I didnt feel much at all, today quite a lot, but have been in bed since 5.30, I think that helps. 

    My first pregnancy I was young and naive and didn’t worry about a thing, this one seems to have gone on forever! - I am sure I should be 8 months + by now, I’m still not quite 22 weeks :-(  if I get over 35 weeks I will be shocked, I am preparing for a 30-32 week gestation and will have my hospital bag ready at 28ish weeks - last time I didn’t have anything ready, and didn’t even realise I was in labour, everyone kept telling me it was just Brixton hicks!!  

    Of course I am hoping to keep cooking my little bubba as long as pos, and hope and pray to get to 35 weeks to reduce any risk of long term difficulties......I have the added complication that there is an increased risk of cerebral palseye when carrying a sleeping twin..... I can’t wait to get back to the consultant on 29th and grill her about a birth plan, for my own peace of mind I need to know if I have to have a C section, or if I can deliver naturally (preferred choice). 

    I think for all of us here, once we have lost a bubba the realisation of what risks are out there is completely magnified!! 

    Luckily we have each other to understand the stresses and anxiety we are all going through....


  • Mrs Fish I'm feeling so much better this evening. She's definitely been wriggling away tonight so that's good. Got my 1st gp midwife appt next Friday and then I think they are every 3 weeks or so after that with it being my 1st based on my notes. I think having set appointment structure will also help.

    My work colleague/friend's daughter's dad and his new wife were having a baby in Feb. A few weeks ago she told the daughter that they had found problems with the baby and it may be brain damaged and so was unlikely to live past 4 if at all. Im not sure how they found this out because my friend only knows what her 14 yr old daughter told her but I'm guessing it was at the 20wk scan and they'd been having a lot of tests since then. Anyway today my friend gets a text from her daughter saying the baby had been born and her dad was taking her to see her tomorrow. My friend has just rang saying the baby was born sleeping. We think my friends ex told her daughter this but she didn't understand what it meant so now she's got to have that conversation with her. How awful is that for all involved 😔 it's just so sad. I couldn't begin to imagine what she's going through when she was so close to having her baby in her arms

  • Oh goodness that is horific!! I can’t even imagine what that poor couple are going through 😔 

    I Have known a couple of people who have had stillborns - not close friends, more acquaintances/colleagues and a friends brother who went through a cot death - it is just heart breaking! How do you deal with that, I really don’t know......

    There are also the stories of hope, like the baby who was born with her heart outside of her body, has survived against all odds and now heart is back where it should be - was in the news this morning :-)  

    we have to have hope and faith that our little ones will be strong survivors xx 

  • Yes I agree Mrs Fish. It made me feel so lucky for this little one. I know there's still a long way to go bit my scans are all good etc so it just made me feel so blessed xx

  • So baby doesn't like coconut oil. Husband made omelette with it earlier.  I walked in, ran out, upstairs and gagged alot but never spewed image

    We use coconut in our shampoo, condition and shower gel. Let's hope it's jst the oil.

  • None of your replies popped up before my random outburst about coconut oil image

    I'm too early on to think about stillborn. I jst hope when we have our scans then that will keep my mind at ease and I won't think of any worst case scenarios past that but minds are wonderful things.

    I honestly don't know how people cope. I do think I'd need to be in a padded cell after that though.

    Mrs Fish it must be so hard knowing there is a sleeping twin you need to deliver aswell. Just reading what you have put down here makes me believe you are a very strong woman! 

  • My husband made me an omelette with coconut oil before I was pregnant - it was disgusting!! I can understand why baby doesn’t like it lol.

    Mrs Mc I don’t think I have really delt  with the loss of one of my bubba’s, I am just trying to keep busy and focus on my growing girl - my midwife told me that I will probably grieve once I have given birth - so now I worry about PND, as I am not the most stable of people to start with, and have been surprisingly strong throughout the pregnancy so far....I think the hormone boost has benefitted me lol.  However,  I am keen on trying again for a second within 6 months of delivery if pos - I may change my mind tho, when she arrives 😜

    I am still spending way too I have on eBay!! Have to reign in my shopping spree xx

  • Thats me not having phone in pocket from now on! Xx

  • Same bobble! And turning data and WiFi off at night! 

  • MrsFish as I said before, it takes incredible strength and hope to trudge on through what you've been through. You say you're not the strongest of people but you most definitely are! 🤗 We don't know how strong we are until something so awful happens to us. Each and every one of us on this page has experienced a loss or losses and to get through that alone, shows remarkable strength 💪🏼 Its lovely that you already planning another soon after little lady arrives! I'd love to have 2 really close in age but I'm not sure I want a third 🤷🏻‍♀️ And OH is happy being a family of 4... not to mention I'm excited about kick starting my career in nutrition, I can't of studied all those years for nothing! 😂

    How is everyone doing today? Any nice plans for the weekend? I'm taking DS to see Santa on Sunday with the in laws 😁 Might do a spot of baby shopping too 👶🏻 

  • I agree with Ele, the women on this page, and the previous thread, are some of the strongest I have ever seen. It takes a lot to go through what we all have and to keep trying and hoping. 

    I am good today :) still got pains and stuff but I did a opk this morning to compare to the one last week and it was so much darker, it made my day. I work all weekend so no plans. How are you ele? Going to see Santa sounds like lots of fun :) 

    my comparison photo 😁image

  • Whale chick is it ovulation or pg test?  It looks lovely and dark in comparison so looks like your  hcg’s are increasing nicely :-) 

    Thanks Ele, I will jump on Mummytolily‘s bam wagon and repeat that you always know the right thing to say 😁

    I hope to do not a lot this weekend, hubbie is out sat night for his work do. We were meant to have friends over Sunday, but they are backing out, which is just perfect for us - we are still living in a half decorated bedroom, new carpet is coming Friday, and we haven‘t even got all the old wall paper off yet - never mind painting....

    I still have this viral cold/chest, so would like to just spend the weekend on the sofa lol. 

    Hows everyone else getting on? Xx

  • Yes whale chick, the other page too 💪🏼❤️ That page lifted me from a very dark, lonely and scary place! That ov test looks fab, they're good to use if you've run out of pg tests because they will show positive if pregnant and that's a really strong positive 😁 They look for LH but also pick up HCG I think? Or is it that LH increases again when pg can't remember 😂 I'm good thanks, feeling extremely pregnant now 😂

    Oh no boo to the cold MrsFish!! Hopefully that clears off asap! Lots of rest and relaxing on the sofa 😁 Thanks mrsfish, I think it's just so important to empower other women who are struggling with the same or similar situations that's I've been in. When you first experience a miscarriage, you feel firstly like a massive failure and SO alone, then the sadness kicks in, followed by anger and confusion. Then the deep deep mourning, desperation and frustration to be pregnant again sets in. These emotions and feelings go round in a circle and end up swallowing you whole. That place is just the worst ever and I do what ever I can to lift people out of that place ☹️🤗 

    Week 28 has been full of major nesting (cleaning/organising), needing a wee constantly due to pressure in pelvic area, bursts of tearfulness, bursts of rage - I mean like I could kill someone for getting in my way lol, sleeping is getting hard because I go numb and have to swap sides every few hours and of course wake up in doing so! But on the bright side I'm so thankful and grateful to be pregnant and growing my girl 💗🤰🏻🌟

  • Hi girls some great words of wisdom and strength here!

    i have had a couple of busy days at work and on works christmas do yesterday. I ended up have to tell work straight away (as they were announcing a change in my role so I had to be upfront with them that I will be in maternity leave) obvisouly I couldn’t then let work know without telling my family , my 7 year old was over the moon (so excited which I was a little surprised and very Happy about since her nearly 2 year old sister can be a little bit annoying!) and so told grandparents , telling aunties today etc. 

    The reason I mention it as I really haven’t enjoyed telling people, well mainly work people, makes me feel nervous again about what might happen, and just wanted to keep control of it I guess? Anyone else experience this and for those past 12 weeks when did you tell people family/ work/ friends/ wider world etc?

    i am still laying in bed with a chest cough/cold, so dont want to do much at all this weekend except some last minute online Christmas shopping! Have a good weekend all, hope you’re feeling ok 

  • Oborne I still haven’t told my family - not close and not sure if I will tell them before I give birth now! I don’t expect any contact from them over Christmas, so I won’t have to conceal anything.

    I did go and tell the 2 aunties I get on with at around 18 weeks. 

    We had to tell hubbies children (25+22) who took it really badly, as his daughter was at our house when I had a huge haemorrhage they are still coming To terms with it.  Don’t ever ask anything about the pregnancy - completely uninterested....

    I told a few close people until 20 weeks Scan. My manager and HR knew as I was sighed off at 6 weeks due to bleeding, this was a few months after being signed off for miscarriage - they have been excellent!!  We were going to tell people after 13 week scan, but were then told we weren’t safe until 20 weeks - so didn’t want to discuss with others.  I think as we have kept it a secret so long we have quite enjoyed it.  Hubbie has decided not to tell his work colleagues, and we will just rock up to his annual dinner and dance end of Jan, at 28 weeks. 

    Ele sounds like 3rd trimester is kicking in.  My hubbie says he can’t wait for me to start nesting and have the energy to give our house a good sort out, we have a fairly big house old house that it full of crap lol. 

    I have started to get numb arms when sleeping on side, I am still much more comfy resting on my back with lots of pillows.  I have a pregnancy pillow in my Xmas list - does anyone else use one or have any recommendations for one? Xx

  • Aww oborne, its so nice to hear your little one was so happy :) I am only very early but had to tell my bosses and a colleague as part of my job involves very heavy lifting, they were amazing about it all and are all working to cover everything I can’t do. I am planning on telling a few of my siblings and my partners family after the 12 week scan if everything is ok. Rocking up o your hubbies work do at 28 weeks sounds like it will be great, funny to see everyone’s reactions!

    mrsfish, I have an amazing pillow, I will ask my partner the name of it. I got sent home from work yesterday due to my back being sore, used the pillow last night and now most of the pain has gone. Actually the best sleep I have had in a while, slept 11 hours, which is unheard of for me.

    how is your cough? 

  • WWe told my mum, dad, brother and sister about about 6 weeks because we were due to go to Florida so obviously wouldn't have been going on the rides. We announced to everyone else after our 12 week scan. We told immediate family in person and announced on Facebook like this 


  • Lisil that's uber cute. I want to do some then like that this time but we have no intentions of telling anyone for as long as possible for fear of what might happen again. Scan is this Fri and even if all is well we won't tell anyone.  The plan is to tell ppl at 20 weeks however that just depends on how big I am. I'm a size 6 and when I eat a chip I can bloat to a 3 month pregnant person lol see how long I can get away with it... 

    Me and the husband are drinking 'vodka' at Xmas.  He will be in charge of my drink and I will be bagged up on lemonade all night, fabulous! 

    Mrs Fish that's ashame that they arent interested and your not close to your family. I obviously don't know the circumstances but it sounds to me like your going to be a fabulous mum and your baby girl is lucky to have you and your husband even if the other ppl aren't about!  

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