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What should I do about his drinking?

Hi there :)

So a little background information about my situation, I am 24 years old expecting my first baby in March and I live with my fiance who is a lawyer. When I first found out I was pregnant he was absolutely miserable and did some questionable things (no violence towards me of course just extremely unsupportive and verbally abusive). Over time he has come to accept and even love our little baby girl, however he has a drinking problem... Every night he NEEDS to drink, he has about 5 standard drinks a night. Lately he has been going out every Friday night and gets so drunk he ends up vomiting in public and binge eating on food. He will tell me he will be home at a certain time to spend time with me because I've been really ill and depressed lately because of a pretty rough pregnancy, but he doesn't end up coming home until 1AM and is often too hungover to do anything the next day. Him being a lawyer I hardly see him at nights, and whenever I do he is drinking. My stepfather was an alcoholic and was physically abusive to us kids growing up and both his parents were very very heavy drinkers growing up so I am extremely worried he will get worse and become aggressive towards me but most importantly our baby girl. I have spoken to him about my issues and he feels bad that he has worried me but he still continues to drink and this Friday he will be going out and won't be home until goodness knows when. I'm not trying to control him, I haven't said anything about his drinking for our entire relationship (nearly 8 years), but when he becomes verbally abusive towards me when he drinks and he is vomiting in public and neglecting me I can't help but become worried...What should I do ladies?? 


  • Hey there,

    You are doing a fantastic job of keeping it together, even if your are ill. This is a very worrying and difficult situation.

    If you feel as though you or your baby are in danger, get out while you can. Safely and discreetly. He will get a wake up call when he discovers that you are seriously worried about his behaviour. Not in a way to take his child from him as a punishment, but a way to protect her. Trust your gut.

    8 years is a long time, but things have changed and he needs to recognise that. And if he is going through a rough time tell him to seek some professional help and cut back on the booze. Remind him you are a team, but you will NOT put up with abusive behaviour on any level. 

    Hope things will work out for all of you. 

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