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TTC first baby - getting a little obsessed!

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  • Hi ladies, I’m 26 and my husband and I are trying for our first baby. We’ve been ttc for 4 months now, which I realize isn’t that long. I have read through the posts and I am so relieved to see that I’m not alone. I feel like I’ve been going crazy tracking, charting, and researching. Then at the end of each cycle I swear I have symptoms and then I am devastated when the tests are negative or I get my period. Unfortunately, I am the only one of friends to start trying and while my mother knows we are trying, she got pregnant on the first try so I really don’t feel like I have anyone who understands how I am feeling. I have an ovulation tracker and I’ve tried ovulation predictor kits. The tracker says one thing but I have yet to have a positive opk, has anyone else had this happen? 

  • Hi. Im 31 and we’ve been ttc since November with no luck. Didnt want people knowing we had been trying but coming up to one year anniversary and now running out of excuses to tell people why I’m not pregnant. just Finding it so hard to cope with as both desperate for a baby and everyone asks when we will be having one. If only I knew! how long before any of went to doctors and what is first step doctors take? Keep hearing people talk about clomid. What is that and do you get on nhs? Any help, advice and support on how to deal with the frustration and disappointment each month would be great. Feel like on outside no one knows but behind closed doors when it’s jusy me and dh I’m falling to pieces inside. I know it’s only been a year of trying but at 31.5 I’m starting to panic should have started years ago. Just feels like everyone around me got pregnant at the drop of a hat and it’s so hard to take. Thanks girls xxx

  • Make an appointment now. I made an appointment and got bloods tested days 1-4 then two tests of day 21. That tested that I'm ovulating. My partner is about to have sperm testing as the second step. 

  • Hello Everyone!

    Just spent an hour reading through from the beginning of this thread and wanted to join in the conversation and support as I felt like I silently connected with you all and want to be your friend!

    My husband and I just started TTC for first baby this month. I've been on different versions of the pill for the past 11 years (depending on what my insurance would cover). I'd just gone through my withdrawal bleed Sept 21-25 and had started a new pack of pills from Sept 26 - Oct 1 then said to hell with it, tossed the pills, and went through my second withdrawal bleed Oct 4-7 (super annoying but what can you do?). I've never tracked ovulation and don't really know what I'm doing and sometimes wonder if my body even remembers/knows how to ovulate after all these years image. I bought some prenatal vitamins and I did download two fertility apps but they're not even close to being the same in their estimation for when I'm ovulating so either I input something wrong or these apps feel as confused about my chances as I do; might be a mixture of both. My husband and I have done the deed pretty much every other day this month (mostly because we're having a lot of fun and I think being off the pill has done something to my libido!).

    I'm 29 and my 30th birthday is in February. In a perfect world, I pray that I can get a BFP before then or around that time as a 30th birthday gift to me. I know that sounds silly and naive but a girl can dream right? Haha. 

    Anyway, sending warm thoughts and prayers to all of you waiting for your little ones.

    Nice to meet you!

  • Hi ladies

    i hop you mind mind if i join your discussion.

    Oj9,Nelly  i’d like to relate to yous  as i’ve been trying for a while with no results.

    i recently went to see my GP about it as it worries me because i’m not getting any younger (i’m 33). 

    so  has bloods done CD 1-4 , and my partner had to get his semen analysis done. so now i’m waiting to see my GP again as i need to take his results and see her so it can be sent off to fertility clinic.

    my blood and his analysis cane back as all good so i’m hoping  they will refer me for HSG scan or something simila. just anxious the whole doctors thing will do sie a long time( knowing the NHS queue) 

    any replirs would be really appreciated, sending love and hugs to you all xx

  • So because me and my husband don't go to the same doctors we had my bloods done and then waited before getting a doctor referral for my husband. He has a sperm test on the 6th of November then a 10 day turnaround to confirm the results. He is getting stressed about it, he told me a few days ago that he thinks it's him and that he can't give me what i want. The whole process is hard. I am hoping his results come back ok. I wasn't sure what the next step is, so you mentioning scans is interesting. How long have you been trying? did you have your blood done on day 21 too? 

  • Hi Nelly9

    we’ve been trying fir about a year now however i feel like we don’t do it as often as we should in a fertile window ( my man is tired most days so it’s lucky if we can get it in once or twice) so i’m thinking that might be the issu. i always thought it would be easy to get pregnant as you hear it all about accident pregnancies when wo are on the pill and still get pregnant. Few months back i got really obsessed and a i thought about was pregnancy and alol the topics that come with it, you name it.

    went to see the GP but she told me to do the bloods 1-4 and semen analysis so we did that. Both came back good now i’m waitin to see my GP ( hopefully on wednesday) so i will see what she says. she previously told me to bring his results back and she will send it off to fertil clinic

    my man was nervous about his test too

    HSG scan it’s what they do to see whether there’s a blockage in fallopian tubes and whether the shape of the uterus is correct. but they could also do transviganal an or hysteroscopy

    just hope the wait won’t be too long

  • That's interesting, i wasn't sure what the next steps were so thanks for sharing. It may be that you just haven't hit the fertile days enough, are you using OPKs? I am using them and the amount my ovulation day changes is actually pretty shocking. Last month i ovulated around day 12, this month i still don't have a positive OPK and it's day 14. So even something like that could prevent you from hitting the days correctly. I found myself getting really obsessed with getting pregnant and found it so hard when i saw other people announce their pregnancies. I almost feel like i'm putting my life on hold a little bit. I would feel better if someone could tell me 'yes it's ok you will be able to get pregnant and it's just a matter of time' but the uncertainty is what upsets me. As it's my first time trying to get pregnant it's the not knowing if it's possible that i struggle with most. I like you also thought it was so easy to get pregnant and i worried so much about it before. I naively thought i would be pregnant the first one or two months, i try to keep reminding myself that it can take time and that's normal but it's a struggle. Especially as i haven't told many people we're trying. It's hard to explain my worries/upsets throughout the months when people don't know. 

  • yes i do take OPKs, my cycles are 25-27 days but still nothing. I know what you mean. i’m in the same position, i haven’t told anyone that we’re trying and it upsets me knowing propl around me are having babies.in fact when someone asks whether i want to have children i say “no”. it’s such an emotional struggle. are you blood tests good?

  • Yeah it seems like i get asked a lot more now, and i have to keep pretending it's just not the right time for us or something. So painful to talk about. My 1-4 day and 21 days were all good. Ovulated two months so that is positive, just need to do the sperm test and then i guess see what the doc suggests next? Although the earliest that will be is going to be around middle of November. =(

  • my gp never mentioned bloods on day 21, not sure why. yes i know it takes time to see a gp, not ideal when you just want to know whether you are able to or not.

  • The test on day 21 is a 100% confirmation that you've ovulated so it does seem strange, maybe that's the next step for you? I had mine done twice as it is normal not to ovulate every month so if one comes back negative it's not a massive deal if it's two negative months then it's time to research more. Both mine were positive. 

  • so even if i get positive opk every month there’s still a chance not to ovulate?

  • Yes, OPKs don't confirm ovulation. Temping is the only way to do it yourself but the problem with that is it can be a bit tricky, i think you have to take your temp every morning around the same time within 30 minutes of waking up before moving and log until you see a pattern, your temp should raise by .5 of a degree after ovulation. I haven't found temping that easy so i don't do it. The only other way to tell 100% is to have the 21 day blood test. I actually found a company which did this test using a finger prick, so if your doctor doesn't suggest it you could pay for it yourself for piece of mind. It wasn't overly expensive, the only reason i didn't do it was because my doctor said they wouldn't accept these results and would have to do their own tests anyway. 

  • oh right i didn’t know that. ive tried temping fit couple of months but found it difficult pulse i had a cold one month too so i think that has messed up my body temperature too.

    would you tell me what the company is please? i will ask for the test on day 21 when i see my GP, and it would be great if she says yes  to it as it would be the next friday so perfect timing:)

  • The company is www.forthwithlife.co.uk but if you can get one through the doctor that would be best, and if your day 21 is Friday then definitely speak to the doc asap to try get that booked in. I had to wait a few months for mine as my day 21 came two months in a row while i was away out of the country over the summer! such a pain, but that's why i looked at potentially using this company. Like i said though i didn't end up using them so couldn't confirm if they are any good but might be worth it! 

  • i will definitely pester my GP for it so i can go to the drop in clinic next friday and do it rather than wait for weeks. yes i know it’s such a pain. i wish everything could be done and tested in one week lol 

  • Hi Nelly,

    hope you had had a good Christmas 🙂 how you’re getting on with TTCing? any news? xx

  • Hi girls,

    I am in the same boat! My partner and I have been trying for 9 months and it is really getting me down now.image

    I haven’t felt Christmassy or really in the mood for anything at all. I feel like our lives are on hold and I just keep wondering if this time next year we will have our own baby! 

    I don’t chat to anyone about it except my partner and I know I’m meant to ‘relax’ but I can’t seem to at all. 

  • So maybe we should give each other suggestions of things that might help us relax about the 'trying' so many ppl have said as soon as we 'don't try' or relax it'll happen. For me I've been trying acupuncture to relieve stress and anxiety and also have had a reflexology appointment which was nice. It seems everyone is announcing their pregnancies at the moment and finding it really easy. 

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