How long do we keep trying??

I need some help. My whole life is being taken over by the misery of trying to conceive. When do I give up? I’ve absolutely had enough of my world ending every month. This time my body allowed me to be 6 Days late for my very regular af!! Then bam! Silly me for getting my hopes up! Why is it never my turn? Why is it that people who don’t look after themselves or dont want babies just get pregnant so easily? Why do all of my friends get it so easily? Why did I lose my last pregnancy? I know you guys don’t have the answers, but I feel like you guys are the only ones who understand! Since I had my miscarriage the people in my life just feel uncomfortable whenever I even hint about the subject! Im completely alone! 

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  • hi , I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time at the moment, and I’m very sorry to read about your loss , how long have you been ttc ? It’s horrible when our body’s give us false hope , do you know when your ovulating, is your partner supporting you through this journey... my ttc journey lasted a year I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant and to be honest I wasn’t expecting it and I’d ended up with the attitude of not really trying come the end as like you it stressed me out , thinking of it every month, sex became a nightmare because it had to be planned so it wasn’t enjoyable have the time , every person I kew was pregnant or just had a baby so that made me even more depressed... I gave us some time out for a month or two and BANG I fell pregnant, i hope your time will come soon , just relax live life as normal , have some fun , make time for you & your partner, make yourself feel sexy again, try new things in the bedroom they say getting your partner extra excited can work wonders for sperm .. xx

  • Oh I an with u hun. 2 years it took us to fall,only to have to say goodbye to out little girl 4 months in, on June 14th this year, due to trisomy 21 and severe heart and brain structural problems. Now back to ttc and wondering if it will ever happen hoping it wont take 2 years!! And I am so healthy it's just frustrating xxx

  • Ah girls, thank you both so much for replying! 

    Robinangel, massive congratulations on your pregnancy! I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy! We’ve been ttc since August 2017, I got pregnant 1st April and had a mc 24th june. I’m not 100% sure when I’m ovulating, I tried opk last month for the first time, but my grandad died very suddenly on cd 12 and I stopped using them before I got a positive (to be honest that’s probs why my period was late, because of the stress). So maybe I will try again with them this time! Did you use them? Thankyou for your advice!

    susie I’m so so sorry for your loss. I really hope you get your bfp soon!! It’s just not fair! How are you coping with it all? 

    Sending you both lots of happiness ❤️ xx

  • Thank you, I used ovulation test every month for the first 8 months then got tired of testing and worrying about it , my monthly cycles where only 25 days so I started using opks on cycle day 7 and normally got a positive test on day 11/12 , how long are your cycles.. sorry to hear about your grandad yes your probably right the stress and upset has probably messed your af up , are you taking any pre pregnancy vitamins to get your body ready for pregnancy, have you contacted your gp for a chat xx

  • I haven’t no, I’m taking folic acid but no other vitamins. And I did think about making a gp appt but I figured cos it hasn’t been a year since the mc they probably won’t do anything anyway! My cycles are usually 25 days but this one was 31. So I guess I ov late as I tested until day 12 and didnt get any positives!? Who knows! I really don’t want to go down the road of testing everything, it just puts so much pressure on it! I’d rather just let it happen.. but it’s not 😂🙈xx

  • Girl I have been saying the same thing lately. With my little girl I tried for 2 years before I got pregnant with her in 2012. She is almost 6. Then on June 4th of this year had a miscarriage at almost 8 weeks. It seem like most people that have never had a mc think you should just get over it and I had someone tell me that just its so hard to loss something you want so bad. I don't use ovulation tests at all never have. I was actually going to take a break from trying next cycle but I am 4w6d. Went to Dr yesterday. Don't give up. If need be take a break but don't ever give up. Wish everyone good luck and in will be thinking of you.

  • If your already taking folic acid then that should be enough, just make sure your eating well and getting plenty of exercises in your daily routine, I always worried that having a 25 day cycle would make it harder to fall pregnant but it’s all down to timing , I’d definitely keep tracking ovulation with testing twice a day till you get the positives, I used to order my test on eBay and get a pack of 50/100 sounds mad but having those test are important and they are so cheap too . I’d also ring the gp just to talk them through your worries they maybe able to offer some test to see if everything is ok with you and even get your partner involved with getting checked out , how often do you have sex xx

  • robinangel we usually have sex a lot, at least every other day if not every day, so I’m not sure if it’s a case of us missing it? But my partner has now started a new job and is working away Monday to Friday, which obviously make that a lot harder!! You said test twice a day with the opk? I was only doing it once a day, so shall I do early morning and evening? I eat well and exercise 3 times a week plus walk the dogs. I’m generally in good health, sleep isn’t so great and I’ve had a lot of stress this year! So maybe that’s having an impact. I’m going to try temping this cycle I think, I’m now on day 5 so should really start tomorrow!

    mum2alexis, massive congratulations!! So happy to hear your good news! i totally agree with what you said, it is so hard! I was over 13 weeks when I lost mine and I’d literally planned my whole life! Which was silly, but I was so excited and then it was gone! All I have now is a scan picture and sometimes I wonder if it was even real!! I can’t wait to get my bfp and rainbow! 

    Thanks girls! Means so much to have you guys to chat too! xx

  • It seems like June has been a horrible month for all of us as my baby girl was born and died on 14th of June this year. I'm not too bad , I have my good days now but those weeks during losing her and the 8 weeks after were incredibly hard for me as I ended up poorly and back in hospital for surgery and same week had to collect Maisey from the crematorium.i am just worries it will take 2 years again or longer. I think we said if I'm not pregnant by April 2019 we will go for IVF xxx

  • Hey missymoo with the opks I would test mid morning and around tea time till you get a positive, and a positive is when the test line is a dark or darker than the control line ( you probably know that ) then you have 24 / 36 hours till the egg is ready for fertilsation.. if I was you I’d leave the whole temperature thing it’s really stressful I tried it for a month and gave up , sounds like your body ready for a baby just got to stay positive and don’t test with a pregnancy test till you have missed your af it saves disappointment and heartache of a negative result xx

  • Hey girls! June was deffo a rubbish month!! Susie im so sorry to hear what you have been through, you seem to be so strong, I hope that the days keep getting better. does the thought of ivf worry you? what cycle day are you on? 

    Thanks robin, what day do you think that I should start testing with the opk? I tested up until day 12 last month and never got a positive so I must ovulate later then I thought, or not at all? 

    I think I’m gonna have a month off trying this time. My partner has started a new job working away so I now only see him on the weekends and I actually have no idea when i ovulate! Which makes it a lot more difficult! 

  • Missymoo I've had about 4 normal periods since its all settled down x I'm due on any day

     The thought of IVF doesn't scare me I e been prided and poked so much down there this year alone lol. The thought of it not working after spending all that money scares me LOL . I think what I don't like about ivf is how they grade the eggs and instantly right them off if they don't class them as good enough where as nature had a tendency to surprise us and do what it needs to. I will never right any of my eggs off until menopause hits because that's nature righting them off not some doc who goes by statistics xxx so I am trying to be positive and believe in my body. A perfect example of nature sticking 2 fingers up at statistics...  I was born with a very rare condition called a Unicornate Uterus. It means I've been born with half a womb ( in fact it's smaller than half) 1 tube and 2 ovaries. This means I will have small babies and be high risk of miscarriage and premature babies because it's unlikely to hold a baby full  term due to lack of space and very small womb. I have a nearly 12 year old son. U carried hun FULL TERM  and he was just under NINE POUND!!!  So in ur fa e statistics. My body may only have half the equipment but it pulled out all the stops and i had a large healthy baby xxdx

  • Sorry about the spelling mistakes lol bloody phone x

  • Haha that’s Amazing!!! xx

  • Missymoo it just shows how the docs are not always right and with things like fertility they work of risk factors and statistics and a lot of the time nature proves them wrong xxx so have faith x xxx 

  • Thanks susie! Am trying my best. Hopefully one day soon I will get the news that I’m really really wishing for!! Have you got af yet? Or tested? Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

  • Missy I'm due on today. Had vv faint positive last night on cheap test ( see pic) and nothing on super drug one this afternoon so it's a waiting game now to see if I come on today xxx

  • Sorry here's the pic I meant to attach lol image

  • Wahhhh that deffo looks like a positive to me!!!! Have you tested again today???

  • Missymoo  here's the update. I've tested negative ever since and now 3 days late!!! Wtf is going on with my body x

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