Tell Shared Parental Leave what your maternity/paternity leave was like: win a voucher!

Replies

• katt1906 Regular

  Mar 13, 2019 3:38PM

  I took the full maternity leave for both our kids and my husband had three weeks off. Financially we couldn't have afforded my husband to be on reduced pay due to the difference in our wages. My husband also would never have taken my time away from them. I know it's probably an unpopular opinion to say that but I would have resented him if he did. I had two horrendous pregnancies and had aniexty issues after my 2nd was born so I don't think mentally I could have gone back after 6 months. I do think it's a great idea though as it will help others more than it would have helped me.

  0
• bevmichelle Regular

  Mar 13, 2019 7:34PM

  Found it so hard for both of us to be off due to money, so hubby went back to work, he was so disheartened & felt like he was missing out, i really needed the support from him as i had nobody to help me out while i had post natal depression. I really think that fathers should be given full pay on parental leave and for a longer time... This is our bundle of joy....Taran Oliver born on the 4th July

  0
• nicola182

  Mar 13, 2019 10:56PM

  I started my maternity leave at 29 weeks gestation as I was on leave from work with sickness. I started going into labour at 31 weeks, and my twins arrived at 34 weeks.
  
  I have taken a full 52 weeks maternity leave as was breastfeeding and it made sense to be off with my girls while they were nursing and not pumping in a small room 2 hours from hone.
  
  Luckily my partner was able to take some holiday after his paternity finished. I needed him to drive me to hospital for 4 weeks to give my pumped milk to our girls while they were in NICU. I was unable to drive after emergency section (and natural birth). He took a further two weeks off to be at home with us all as well when the girls were allowed to leave hospital.
  
  My maternity leave ran out when my girls were just 9 months adjusted age and behind developmentally. We couldn’t make nursery work around partners shift work and my 4 hour round trip to the office. I’ve had to leave my job. I’ve also still not recovered 13 months PP and under a number of hospital investigations.
  
  52 weeks is not nearly enough maternity leave for a twin mother, for a mother of premature babies, a mother that hasn’t healed from a traumatic birth.

  0
• tallandlong

  Mar 14, 2019 3:34AM

  i was off together with my wife, it truly was a magical time off together and the birth of our children.  If you can take time off together to share its possibly the most amazing thing ever

  0
• emmal01

  Mar 14, 2019 6:24AM

  I was very lucky I took the maximum maternity leave & loved every minute. 

  0
• Lindseymorris

  Mar 14, 2019 7:02AM

  I had a year maternity leave it was amazing, during which I put in a flexible working request for part time hours which was rejected. I could no longer work full shifts, so I left permanently. I have had an amazing time bringing up my little girl and boy; I am extremely lucky and grateful.

  0
• Valérie Regular

  Mar 14, 2019 7:19AM

  I had nine months for the first child, and I think a little less for the second.  However, we didn't see the point in paying for a childminder to have the wonderful experiences of bringing up our children, so we rejigged our lives around the children.  I switched to evening work only, so at least one parent would be with the kids all day.  We used relatives or child minders on very very few occasions.  However, the downside is a reduction in income and a lessening of the chances of promotion!  But both myself and my husband believe in educating the children as much as possible ourselves (we did send them to school though!).

  0
• glenka

  Mar 14, 2019 7:24AM

  It was hard money wise for a while but I really needed to have that rest so we just had to stick to tight budget.

  0
• mary heald Regular

  Mar 14, 2019 7:40AM

  I had the bare minimum of maternity leave and do regret it. My husband had a weeks leave and that was all. I felt very alone with my parents a long distance away and I had no transport, living in a quiet villlage and with my husband having the car. 
  The time I spent with my son was wonderful but quite hard. 
  
  

  0
• Helsbells68

  Mar 14, 2019 7:55AM

  I left work early and did not go back to work until both children had started full time school

  0
• frances93

  Mar 14, 2019 8:07AM

  Absolutley rubbish! As a first time parent with a not so great support system, I was absolutley terrified to do anything or go anywhere with my baby. I felt like I didnt have a clue what I was doing and everyone was judging me, so I barely went anywhere or did anything unless absolutley necessary. I made myself miserable and didn't use the time I had with my baby wisely, this time round I am going to make a point of getting out and doing things. Time is precious and they don't stay little long enough!
  

  0
• sophie56 Regular

  Mar 14, 2019 8:16AM

  I was self-employed as a childminder so went back to work three days after giving birth!

  0
• AR2012 Regular

  Mar 14, 2019 8:23AM

  It was a wonderful time together and really made a difference. I wish i had more time than statutory minimum but bills had to be paid. 

  0
• Jcoopscomps

  Mar 14, 2019 8:38AM

  I took full leave and my husband 2 weeks. An enjoyable time to aid with bonding although after a while money is an issue. Having to budget is worth the time with your baby though.
  

  0
• ScottAnnieDun

  Mar 14, 2019 8:39AM

  I took the full maternity leave and ended up not going back to work after it. We had quite a lot of stress in other areas of our lives and so I felt a little like I had missed out on the time with my new baby. However the time I did have with baby when I wasn’t worrying about other things was magical - though I made sure I did things and got out the house. It’s very easy to feel trapped in four walls and I found it very important to go to local groups, meet with friends and just get some fresh air! I’m now due with my second baby in a few weeks and hope to enjoy the time just as much (hopefully with less stress!).

  0
• southernsun

  Mar 14, 2019 8:57AM

  With our first it started as a nightmare as work messed up after telling me I would be entitled to maternity leave but when it came to the first payment I got nothing as it turned out I had been there 8 days short to qualify. Spent 3 days stressing and figuring out what to do when we should of been enjoying life as our new family. Got it sorted and then went on to have lovely maternity leave but still annoyed those first few days were tarnished.

  0
• Batfink78

  Mar 14, 2019 9:02AM

  My paternity leave was so close to Christmas luckily my work allowed me to take the week before Christmas shutdown and the first week back after. 

  0
• xcxcsophiexcxc

  Mar 14, 2019 9:02AM

  Pretty stressful. Im a conpletely single parent so there were no breaks and little support from my family which was quite difficult as the little one had really bad reflux so be cried for three months straight until he was perscribed something that works. Was quite glad to return part time to work tbh for a break and adult company. 

  0
• Cghm

  Mar 14, 2019 9:21AM

  I'm so glad we took leave at the same time. It was nothing like I expected! Despite both being more tired than we ever had been it was the most joyous time I wouldn't change it for anything. It's a chance to take in the sheer enormity of having a first child and all so special.

  0
• Mother of Boys

  Mar 14, 2019 9:34AM

  When I had my first son 13 years ago, the SMP was only for 6 months during which my employers went into administration so I needed to look for a new job which I started when my son was 5 and a half months old.  With my second I took the now 9 months SMP and enjoyed my leave a lot more and was ready to go back to work at that point.

  0