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all people around me are getting pregnant

OreotimeOreotime
in Long term TTC & infertility
I am 40 years old, I had cancer when I was 35 years old, so it hasn't been easy with regards to my life experience. I had to put children aside to deal with my cancer journey and now I am considering having children. I haven't allowed myself to think about children but now I am imagining them. I have been used to people having children around me, it hasn't been easy for the last 5 years to deal with this. I get hurt and feel angered by it, but now I just feel sad rather than anger. I am trying to conceive I have been trying slowly so hopefully but its hard. I cannot stand other women asking me about children I wonder why its their business!

Replies

  • HelenMFMHelenMFM admin
    Hello Oreotime and, wow, it sounds like you've been having a tough old time of it! How brilliant that you've seen off cancer, though, and can start to think about having children.
    I haven't had to go through what you have but I do know what it's like to see people get pregnant or have babies when you so desperately want the same but it doesn't seem to be happening. I also know what it's like when people keep asking you about children.
    It's very hard.
    But it helped me, at the time, to think that the people asking were only trying to be friendly and didn't know how much they'd put their foot in it. The pregnant women/new mum thing is harder but, like you, I gradually just felt sad, rather than angry.
    Hang on there. It will get better.
    And good luck trying to conceive - I really hope it happens for you soon.
  • CoconutfoxxCoconutfoxx Regular
    Hi my mum is the absolute worst for this, always asking me to have babies, I don't want to tell her I'm trying because she will just keep asking if I am pregnant. Lots of young girls at work are pregnant and I'm sat there like a lump wishing for it. It sounds like you do need to talk to close friends about it because you can tell them it upsets you and you need support. Don't do what I've ended up doing and pretend it doesn't bother you or that you don't want babies. I literally lie to people every day that I'm not fussed and really I am. It's so silly like a barrier. This is literally the only place I can vent now. So talk to people, it's ok to be upset but try not to be jealous, it's amazing these people have had the opportunity to be parents and you never know how hard they may have tried to get there 😊 I honestly wish you all the best, we all deserve the opportunity to be mums. 
  • Roberts77Roberts77 Regular
    Hi have either of you ladies considered adoption i know its not the same as having your own but there are loads of babies out there looking for a forever home x
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