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Miscarriage - when did you start trying again?

Hiya

So I went for a private scan on the 6th April, to which they couldn't find a heartbeat. I was told to come back the following week 13th April and still nothing. They gave me a letter which said "suggestive early pregnancy failure" I rang the midwife and asked what It meant and she said basically there was a pregnancy but isn't anymore.

I got sent for a scan at EPAU 16th April where they did a ultrasound scan and an internal, they said they don't think the pregnancy is viable but to come back in 2 weeks to confirm and then we can talk about options if the miscarriage didn't happy naturally by then, I was due to go back 30th april but the miscarriage happened 29th april. I was in hospital for 7 hours as I was losing too much blood etc.


I am still bleeding on and off each day but very little.

They told us to do a pregnancy test 2-3 weeks after the miscarriage to make sure it is negative, if it wasn't negative id have to go back to the hospital as there could still be tissue inside.

Anyway, my question is how long after the negative pregnancy test did you start trying again? And what are your experiences with this, how long did it take for your BFP? Was this pregnancy a healthy one etc.

Thanks x
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Replies

  • Sorry to hear about your tough time. I suffered a miscarriage on the 28th April. I was only 6 weeks had horrific pains and some bleeding that night and was confirmed to have lost the pregnancy on the 1st May. And proper bleeding started the following day. 
    I was told to wait at least one cycle so that’s what we have done.  
    I believe it’s To do with knowing how far along you are if you were to fall pregnant straight way. 

    We are personally following this and are going to try again next month.  I have been opking and I ovulated yesterday. 

    I will admit I’m feeling really anxious about it  and whether it might happen again but for me I think I need to face it head on!
    I have no imagination that early pregnancy is going to be a happy time for me. 

    I think you you have to go with your gut and what’s best for you! 
  • Hey 
    thanks for the response
    so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, was it your first pregnancy?
    just remember its okay to feel angry,jealous and everything else you will feel i have felt the same.
    we arent actively trying again but we arent being careful. Today is 3 weeks since the miscarriage we waited till at least the 2 weeks had passed as we didnt want any infections etc.
    i agree the next time we fall pregnant will be such a stressful and terrifying time its going to be hard to enjoy it at least till 12-20 weeks i would say. 
    I suppose it just wasnt meant to be for us both this time but it may be a blessing in disguise so try to think ofnit that way!

    wish you all the best in your journey and keep me updated 😊 x
  • Thanks, yes it was my first pregnancy. I’m feeling ok about it all. I have highs and lows understandably but I’m alright. As I said I think it’s more the anxiety hitting me at the moment. 

    How are you feeling?

    Hopefully we will both have A little more luck next time. Xx


  • Yeah, its like when people say “how are you” you just say yeah fine and not actually how you are feeling it changes so rapidly. Especially when they havent been through it themselves.

    im okay just going through highs and lows like you, seems every around me has either just had a baby or pregnant!

    yeah definitely hoping for more luck for the both of us!xx

  • Did you tell many people?xx
  • Hi @Amnx
    i had a miscarriage at exactly 11 weeks back in November last year, apparently baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks 😕 this was my 11th pregnancy (which took me nearly 16 mths to conceive) and my first miscarriage. I have 10 children.
    as soon as we got a negative we started trying again straight away, I’m now 12+3 today but I’ve been totally stressed about having a miscarriage again. This time I had two private scans just for my own peace of mind and sanity one at 9weeks and at 11 weeks and had my first hospital scan today which showed everything is fine thank goodness.

    i think it’s and individual choice for when you feel ready to try again, I was told to start when I felt ready.

    good luck and throwing some baby dust your way 😊
  • We have told family and friends mainly. I told work as I wasn’t off for a few days.  
    We had told family I was pregnant. Mainly as we happened to be flying over to see his side ignore the family and his parents, sister and brother were all there which is rare. 
    I have to admit I’m quite an open person and can’t hide anything so I have just been open. 
    How about you?  How has your OH been? 

    I find I’ve had mixed responses some people really understanding others but dismissive. 
    Im getting annoyed with ‘at least you know you can get pregnant’ and ‘ten years ago you wouldn’t have. Even known you were pregnant’. Doesn’t make it any better! 

    I has had a suspected ectopic so I’m thankful it wasn’t that and turned out to be very straight forward.  

    I am more ok then I am not now which is goodbye. Just have wobbles! But sounds like your experience was much worse then mine. 

    Didn’t you say you had started trying again already? Or aren’t you waiting for a cycle? X


  • Hi @Amnx
    i had a miscarriage at exactly 11 weeks back in November last year, apparently baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks 😕 this was my 11th pregnancy (which took me nearly 16 mths to conceive) and my first miscarriage. I have 10 children.
    as soon as we got a negative we started trying again straight away, I’m now 12+3 today but I’ve been totally stressed about having a miscarriage again. This time I had two private scans just for my own peace of mind and sanity one at 9weeks and at 11 weeks and had my first hospital scan today which showed everything is fine thank goodness.

    i think it’s and individual choice for when you feel ready to try again, I was told to start when I felt ready.

    good luck and throwing some baby dust your way 😊
    Hi Nikkinarno,

    I am so happy for you to hear you now have a good pregnancy, and so sorry to hear about your loss. 
    My partners said he would rather us not have a private scan this time for all the stress it causes, which I understand but at the same time we wouldn't have known anything was wrong so I am torn really but we will see how we feel once we get BFP again.xx
  • SMc6418 said:
    We have told family and friends mainly. I told work as I wasn’t off for a few days.  
    We had told family I was pregnant. Mainly as we happened to be flying over to see his side ignore the family and his parents, sister and brother were all there which is rare. 
    I have to admit I’m quite an open person and can’t hide anything so I have just been open. 
    How about you?  How has your OH been? 

    I find I’ve had mixed responses some people really understanding others but dismissive. 
    Im getting annoyed with ‘at least you know you can get pregnant’ and ‘ten years ago you wouldn’t have. Even known you were pregnant’. Doesn’t make it any better! 

    I has had a suspected ectopic so I’m thankful it wasn’t that and turned out to be very straight forward.  

    I am more ok then I am not now which is goodbye. Just have wobbles! But sounds like your experience was much worse then mine. 

    Didn’t you say you had started trying again already? Or aren’t you waiting for a cycle? X


    Hey @SMc6418

    we told our immediate families and I told my work. I am quite close with my bosses and they were very supportive as they know we have been trying for a while. 
    yeah it was killing me to hold it in so did tell a few people but didn't like announce it on social media or anything - which im glad. 
    OH has been okay he hides his emotions a lot he isn't one to cry normally (only seen him cry when his moms dogs died which were his childhood pets) and he did have a little cry. 

    yeah, I think people don't know what to say so try to at least say something not knowing it doesn't make you feel any better. we have had a lot of "at least you know you can get pregnant now though" and "your still young you've got years"

    ahh so glad for you it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy!

    I did have a bad experience tbh.

    we aren't actively trying yet (we will after our holiday in july) but we aren't being careful so if it happens then so be it, but we waited for the negative test first xx
  • Amnx said:
    Hey @SMc6418

    we told our immediate families and I told my work. I am quite close with my bosses and they were very supportive as they know we have been trying for a while. 
    yeah it was killing me to hold it in so did tell a few people but didn't like announce it on social media or anything - which im glad. 
    OH has been okay he hides his emotions a lot he isn't one to cry normally (only seen him cry when his moms dogs died which were his childhood pets) and he did have a little cry. 

    yeah, I think people don't know what to say so try to at least say something not knowing it doesn't make you feel any better. we have had a lot of "at least you know you can get pregnant now though" and "your still young you've got years"

    ahh so glad for you it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy!

    I did have a bad experience tbh.

    we aren't actively trying yet (we will after our holiday in july) but we aren't being careful so if it happens then so be it, but we waited for the negative test first xx
    NoI agree, Im not some one to put anything like that on Social Media. we had only had my BFP a week before so was too early to tell people. 

    we were very glad it was ectopic. I think that was what got to my OH most after he googled it all. 

    We had our negative test a week after my bleeding stopped and arent activily trying until Ive had AF. I was just worried it would mess my cycles up again as i had only just got them regular!
  • ahh really, we found out very early I think I was 5 weeks when we found out so it felt such a long time until the miscarriage actually happened at 13+1, although we knew since 11+2 it was going to happen. 
    I didn't test until exactly 2 weeks after MC as I was still bleeding for about 10 days or so afterwards. 

    it took me 3 months after coming off the pill for my cycles to start but after that they were every 28-31 days so weren't too bad xx
  • Bless you were much further along. Well I’ve ovulated 19days after the bleeding started which was my normal cycle so hoping it’s go straight back to normal. 
  • ahh really that's good so wont be too long now till you can try again, I haven't been tracking ovulation as I could never get the hang of it before xx
  • God does know what He is doing. And He has an endless supply of love, power, mercy and grace to heal each of our bodies, and fulfill the dreams He has specifically placed within each of our hearts. I want you to believe that. Because if you do, then the enemy of your soul will be defeated. His mission is to steal, kill and destroy your hope, your dreams, and your future (John 10:10).

    https://hopeformums.wordpress.com/
  • thank you<3
  • Hello 😊 
    hope you don’t mind me joining your chat.
    first of all I’m so sorry for your loses!! 
    I found out on 25th June that I was expecting our first baby after trying for 10 months, on 28th June I began spotting, with big blood loss and clots the following day with a confirmed missed miscarriage on the 1st July. That day I also got a negative pregnancy test, so me and my OH decided to start trying again. I have plotted the miscarriage as AF on my flo app and currently in ovulation window!
    we are desperate for a little bundle of joy!! 
    I am glued to these forums looking for hope and answers about when is right to try again or if people fall pregnant straight away?! 
    It’s just so scary!!
    sending you all lost of sticky baby dust ♥️♥️
  • Sorry for your loss. I haven’t been properly trying until this month really. Peak started yesterday. So here’s to hoping.  
    I did lots of research and conclusion wasn’t pretty much there is no set rules. Everyone is different some people straight away others not. Xx
  • sorry for your loss LizLoz. 

    i am still here trying to conceive, not been successful yet since the MC.
  • Thank you Amnx how long have you been trying for?? Xx
  • I’m sorry to hear that Lizloz. I had a D&C May 9th, I ovulated May 31st, my Dr told me we could start trying again then if I felt ready for it. So we did start trying again right away, but no success thus far. It took us 9 months to get pregnant the first time so I am honestly not very optimistic about getting pregnant again real soon, but it does happen right away for some people. I read “It starts with the egg” & I have been following her recommendations & I have been really working hard on being healthy.
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