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Miscarriage at 9 weeks

hello
i have been reading many of comments on here but thought I would pluck up the courage and write my own. 
I found out I was pregnant at 3-4 weeks and at the time I just knew I was pregnant I was over the moon and so excited and happy, my pregnancy symptoms started shrotly after feeling sick all day long and going off certain things especially coffee. I started having weird pains a few weeks later at week 5 and so got in touch with my local EPU and I had a scan there was a pregnancy sack and yolk but told it was to early to see a baby yet and to be rescanned so I was booked in for a repeat early scan at 7 weeks and at this scan I saw my baby with a healthy heartbeat and got told ‘everything seems to be going as well as it should’ and the pains disappeared I still felt very sick a week or so later I had what I thought was a really bad 24 hour bug I have a partner and 2 children and not one of them had the bug neither did others I was around. At around 9 weeks I woke up one morning and didn’t have morning sickness and didn’t have it anymore from then I told my partner friend and family and they all said oh it’s just calmed down everything is ok I wasn’t convinced I had been saying from then ‘what if the baby doesn’t have a heartbeat’ it’s almost like I knew but nobody else would listen to me I honestly felt like I was going insane, we was due for our 12 week dating scan very excited and couldn’t wait to see our little baby however last Sunday I started bleeding the tiniest amount and it was dark in colour again my partner family and friends all said it was nothing to worry about and that everything was ok I didn’t feel confident so again I rang EPU they said it was more than likely an infection and that I was ok as I only bled a very small amount once. We went to the EPU and I sat with a nurse on the day I was meant to be 11 weeks 4 days. The nurse said it was moe than likely the inter course what coursed the bleeding. So on we went for the scan I had an ultrasound and was told oh could I just do an internal as your womb is very tilted this didn’t come as a shock and I just thought ok no problem I’ll see my baby soon whilst the internal was happening the sonogropher took glasses off looked and me and said ‘I’m so sorry your baby hasn’t got a heartbeat the baby passed away at 9 weeks’ all I can remember is screaming and breaking down my heart shattered into pieces straight away I was broken and lost. I knew and my body knew something wasn’t right straight from when my symptoms stopped I felt like people wasn’t taking me serious. We was supposed to be having our 12 week scan and instead I had surgery to remove my beautiful baby! I’ve felt numb, lost and just very emotional I have no idea how or when this is going to ease but all I want to know is when can I try again? Will this awful experience happen again? The nurse and midwifes advised me to wait until my bleeding has stopped and to try again straight away as I’ll be highly fertile, nothing could ever replace my baby I’ve lost however trying again and having a healthy positive pregnancy is something that will comfort my broken heart. Please feel free to give me advice as this is something I would really appreciate xx

Replies

  • I know how extremely hard it is to lose a baby, I lost 3 in a row, 2 at 8 weeks and 1 at 16 weeks. I then fell pregnant again at the beginning of this year and I'm now 35 weeks pregnant, so if after 3 losses I can still have a healthy pregnancy then I'm sure after one you will be absolutely fine :) . You can start trying again as soon as you are mentally ready and the bleeding has stopped that is what the doctor told me. Good luck :) 
  • Did you have children before your misscarriages aswell? I just dont know how to even cope with it all really has affected me and i just dont know how to deal with it all. Youve definetly given me hope to try again thank you x
  • I'm going through a similar thing now. I've got two children already and after them I had two miscarriages, one at 9 weeks and one at 5 weeks. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant and I started bleeding today. I've got to wait five days before I can go and have a scan to see what's going on. I'm so worried and i havent told any family or my children that I'm pregnant because of my previous miscarriages. I feel like its never ending and that I'm not going to have the three children me and my husband wanted. I'm 33 now and feel like this is my last chance.
  • I'm going through a similar thing now. I've got two children already and after them I had two miscarriages, one at 9 weeks and one at 5 weeks. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant and I started bleeding today. I've got to wait five days before I can go and have a scan to see what's going on. I'm so worried and i havent told any family or my children that I'm pregnant because of my previous miscarriages. I feel like its never ending and that I'm not going to have the three children me and my husband wanted. I'm 33 now and feel like this is my last chance.
    Wow this is awful really do feel sorry for you! How come you have to wait 5 days? When I rang the EPU they got me in the day after first thing in morning and have done previously can’t you see if they can get you an earlier scan? Have they given you any reasons as to why it’s happening? I wouldn’t give up just yet hun think positive as hard as that is to say and do I know but you’ll get there I’m terrified to try again as I will always wonder if I’m going to be able to carry another pregnancy I’m only 24 and trying to think positive and get myself back to how I was ready to try again and hopefully all being well have a healthy good pregnancy xx
  • I rang the number in my book that put in through to a midwife and she said they like to wait for afew days before they scan ladies that are bleeding. Its ridiculous really and my husband is fuming. The bleeding has stopped so fingers crossed. I'm trying to stay positive. Yeah you are still young and have plenty of time. It's so hard to carry on and try again to get pregnant after a miscarriage. It took me a year to get pregnant after my second miscarriage. I'm going to ring the doctors in the morning as well to see if they can push it so I can get in sooner. X
  • I feel for you!!! Sending you lots of hugs!!! I lost my baby boy at 20/21 weeks pregnant last February and it totally broke my heart- I really struggled and was absolutely desperate to get pregnant again. I then lost another baby at 11 weeks in August. However, I’ve just given birth to a gorgeous baby girl 3 and a half weeks ago. I had 2 children before the miscarriages so it was a shock!!
    I know the journey can be an emotional rollercoaster but my baby Matilda is worth every worry or pain I had and I’m sure you’ll get your rainbow baby if you don’t give up!xxx
  • I rang the number in my book that put in through to a midwife and she said they like to wait for afew days before they scan ladies that are bleeding. Its ridiculous really and my husband is fuming. The bleeding has stopped so fingers crossed. I'm trying to stay positive. Yeah you are still young and have plenty of time. It's so hard to carry on and try again to get pregnant after a miscarriage. It took me a year to get pregnant after my second miscarriage. I'm going to ring the doctors in the morning as well to see if they can push it so I can get in sooner. X
    Gosh I didn’t know that I couldn’t imagine how you must be feeling too have to wait that long really do feel for you i am thinking of you and fingers crossed you’ll get the happy ending you really do deserve you will have to keep me updated on how it all goes and I hope you’ve been seen before the 5 days xx
  • EmJ3 said:
    I feel for you!!! Sending you lots of hugs!!! I lost my baby boy at 20/21 weeks pregnant last February and it totally broke my heart- I really struggled and was absolutely desperate to get pregnant again. I then lost another baby at 11 weeks in August. However, I’ve just given birth to a gorgeous baby girl 3 and a half weeks ago. I had 2 children before the miscarriages so it was a shock!!
    I know the journey can be an emotional rollercoaster but my baby Matilda is worth every worry or pain I had and I’m sure you’ll get your rainbow baby if you don’t give up!xxx
    Oh wow so sorry to hear about that it’s just so hard to come to terms with it all as each day passes i am learning how to cope with it that little bit more I will never ever forget this horrific experience but like you said I will get my rainbow baby one day just like you have got yours, can I ask did they ever give you a reason to the miscarriages? I’m really nervous and scared to try again but I don’t want to be thinking negative when I eventually do get pregnant but it’s hard not to isn’t it xx
  • No, I didn’t have my baby tested- they said 80% come back inconclusive any way. I don’t know why they happened, I guess it was just unlucky. I was 36/37 though so could’ve just been a mixture of things.xxx
  • EmJ3 said:
    No, I didn’t have my baby tested- they said 80% come back inconclusive any way. I don’t know why they happened, I guess it was just unlucky. I was 36/37 though so could’ve just been a mixture of things.xxx
    Bless you! They sent my baby off to see if it was a molar pregnancy but that’s protocol apparently I had to give consent but was happy for this as it could give me a possible answer and awww noway see I’m 24 and just really has shocked me especially to say I’ve been pregnant twice before just hope my next pregnancy is a successful one really have got everything crossed xxx
  • I will keep you all posted x
  • Good luck!!! I’m sure you’ll get your baby. Don’t give up!xxxx
  • I will keep you all posted x
    Yes please do and good luck x
  • EmJ3 said:
    Good luck!!! I’m sure you’ll get your baby. Don’t give up!xxxx
    I definitely won’t be giving up Thankyou for your advice xxxx
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