Hurt and confused, please advice and opinions
so I apologise in advance as this will be long! I have a son from a previous relationship. I met someone new in 2017, he has a child, and he is 12 years older than me. I love him so much, and I was led to believe we wanted the same future, to be married and have a child. I must add we have had numerous arguments because of his life style. He has his own business, own home and decent amount of saving. He could have a good life but he’s got into drugs because of owning a rig and going to festivals / gigs because of it. He’s 40, has a 6 year old. We had a huge argument because he chose a festival over me when I needed him as I’d been in hospital. We sort of split for all of 24 hours. Now, 24 hours after I found out I was pregnant. I’m now 6 weeks. Bare in mind he knew I wasn’t on protection and knew the possibility after also saying he wanted a child with me! In the 24 hours we had split, he had apparently completely changed his mind about me, doesn’t love me etc. Although, I know this could be down to his friends as I they don’t me, they were with him that weekend, and because I turn down all drugs and I’m nothing like them. He knows I want to be with him and to have this baby. But he wants me to terminate. Saying it’s not fair on his first born, it will badly affect his mental health, that he’s not ready himself (eventhough he’s had one before and is 40), and there may be a possibility for us to be together if I’m not pregnant. It’s like he’s tryinv to make out if I terminate there’s a chance for us. But I know for a fact that he’s talking to other women etc. I’m so heartbroken, confused and hurt. I wanted my family, that he said he wanted too. I love him so much. But all this stress is getting to me. I love him but I want my baby.
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take care and good luck.xxx
Take care.
I am so sorry to hear this story and to hear of your pain; I can't imagine all that you are going through. I agree with the other commentators; he is definitely abusive and gaslighting you. I wouldn't believe for a second that he will stay with you if you decide to terminate, as I think that is an emotionally manipulative tactic to make you change your mind. In the end, it comes down to this; your body, your choice. If you want to terminate, then that is totally your decision, but if you want to keep the baby (and it sounds like you do), then you should definitely keep the baby!
I hope you find someone who loves and treats you with the respect that you deserve. You only deserve the best in life.