Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

If you've just miscarried and need some support

2456721

Replies

  • I miscarried at 8 weeks on 17/09/19. My bleeding stopped yesterday 25/09/19 with the help of cytotec ‘abortion’ medication. I feel empty and angry. I hate everything. My doctor told me to not get pregnant for three months after my miscarriage. That feels like cruel torture. I feel like a new pregnancy would fill the hole that’s left behind. But hubby of course agrees with doctor. I don’t think I’ve ever felt angrier than I do now. I’m so angry all the time. I want to smash anything and everything but I can’t because that’s inappropriate behaviour. I don’t know how to get my anger out so I just suck it in. It’s lonely when no one at work knows I miscarried just over a week ago. I keep having pictures pop into my head of the night I miscarried. Looking at ‘it’ as it was happening. I just hate everything. We were supposed to have a baby. In May. It was our first and it was suppose to be perfect. I don’t know why this happened and I hate that I can’t talk to anyone about it because it’s a big secret. Hubby doesn’t want anyone but close close close family to know.
  • Why do you need to wait 3 months? It’s usually one cycle and that’s just to help date the pregnancy.
    firstly though, I’m really sorry for your loss. I’ve been there twice and it’s horrendous. Once at 20/21 weeks and the other at 11 weeks. It’s totally devastating. I was really upset and angry and to be honest I was obsessive about wanting/ needing to be pregnant again. 

    After the 2nd mc, we waited 3 months and for me, it was what I needed even though it was torture. I needed to grieve for the babies we lost and deal with it a little bit. I think I cried every day for about 9/10 months.

    I’m happy to say I now have a 7 week old baby girl who is my little rainbow and is just amazing.

    good things will happen and you will get your baby. I found these boards really helpful because I could talk to people feeling the same way. Do whatever you need to, to make yourself happier.
    xxxx
  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I mced 3 times but at earlier stages... It's good to question a doctor for medical reasons behind his opinion, or mb it's just his personal opinion. I never heard anything about waiting 3 months after early mc. After my first mc I got pregnant with my son straight away before my first period... He is turning 1 Now. Currently I mced twice with a period in between I may have a break month long for health reasons (unrelated), but if not for that I would be going at it again. I may actuly even do it if I feel better after my b12 injection. Usually there are no health reasons to wait with early mc, unless it went unusual way with complication etc. The most important is for you to feel mentally rdy. I'm so sorry u have to go through this, but mb it's best to request for a second opinion. Angerwise, I'm doing kickboxing, after every session I feel like a new person. It's incredibly helpful with stress relief. I recommend.
  • I never expected to be writing in this thread but here I am. I went for a scan 3 hours ago expecting to see my baby’s heartbeat as I had 2 weeks ago and have been told ‘sorry there is no heartbeat, you have had a missed miscarriage’. I’m so numb right now but I also just want to scream. I was up at 4am with morning sickness and Iv never had any pains or bleeding, my stomach is bloated and my boobs are huge still so how can this be??  And then we have to discuss how we are going to treat this! 4 hours ago I was planning for my 3rd baby in may and now I feel like my world has caved in. I just want to wake up and this all be a bad dream. 
  • There are no words to describe this tragedy. I'm so sorry u have to go through this. I'm afraid since hcg Is still high in ur system u will experience symptoms for awhile more. I know there is nothing what can comfort you now. Make sure ur not alone, cry and grieve. World is unfair all this is unfair. Have a good rant complain. I never had a mmc but I had mc 3 times, my pm is open for u if u need to talk or just vent. I can chat with u or I can just listen. I'm so sorry again.
  • @MrsH02 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It hurts like mad. The same thing happened to me last year- I was 20/21 weeks and it shocked me and devastated me. It was my 3rd baby too and I never in a million years thought it would happen. I lost another baby at 11 weeks later in the year so I understand the pain you’re in.
    You will get through it though, together as a family. Like @MadDoda above said, grieve, cry, lean on people and take each day as it comes. 

    We’re here if you need us.

    just to say though, we now have a gorgeous baby girl who is 8 weeks old- things will get better and happy endings do happen.xxxx
  • Cm212922 said:
    I miscarried at 8 weeks on 17/09/19. My bleeding stopped yesterday 25/09/19 with the help of cytotec ‘abortion’ medication. I feel empty and angry. I hate everything. My doctor told me to not get pregnant for three months after my miscarriage. That feels like cruel torture. I feel like a new pregnancy would fill the hole that’s left behind. But hubby of course agrees with doctor. I don’t think I’ve ever felt angrier than I do now. I’m so angry all the time. I want to smash anything and everything but I can’t because that’s inappropriate behaviour. I don’t know how to get my anger out so I just suck it in. It’s lonely when no one at work knows I miscarried just over a week ago. I keep having pictures pop into my head of the night I miscarried. Looking at ‘it’ as it was happening. I just hate everything. We were supposed to have a baby. In May. It was our first and it was suppose to be perfect. I don’t know why this happened and I hate that I can’t talk to anyone about it because it’s a big secret. Hubby doesn’t want anyone but close close close family to know.
    Reading this broke me- I am so sorry for your loss, and I can really relate to what you are describing. I was not as far along as you were, but I can relate to the angry and bitter feelings, and it was supposed to be our first, too. I will say that my husband is the same about not wanting to tell people, but I have found it helps so much because the love and support I am feeling from family and friends is my one silver lining and it makes me feel like I am wrapped up in a blanket. I may not know you, but I am always here to talk, and just know that you are not alone in this, as I am feeling the same exact emotions as you
  • Hi all, I thought I would post to this thread after stumbling upon it. I miscarried this past week, and it was one of the worst weeks of my life. I wasn't far along (a little over 4 weeks), but it broke me because we have been trying this entire year and it was our first pregnancy, and seeing the second line on the at home pregnancy test was so exciting. I am so angry and upset and hurt, and all I want to do is sit at home and cry under my blankets while watching TV endlessly without even processing it, but seeing other people who feel the same and are going through the same thing is so validating. Thank you all for your stories and your vulnerability. 
  • It is such a cruel thing to experience. However when I experienced it again and again I thought, there had to be smth really wrong with this eggs. So I rather wait for a good and strong one and have happy pregnancy and motherhood after. 
  • @the-emperor-of-ice-cream, it is devastating and breaks your heart. Do whatever makes you feel even slightly better. Tv, chatting, chocolate, sleep... anything!!! I found these boards really helpful when I lost my babies. They allowed me to cry, rant, scream etc without constantly upsetting those around me 24/7- although i still shared my feelings with my hubby and mum etc. 

    It it doesn’t exactly help but I was told by my consultant that a lot of early mc are chromosomal defects and it’s nature’s way.

    You will get your baby!!! Sending you lots of baby dust and to you @MadDoda.xxxx
  • So today I have to go for my second scan to confirm my mmc. I still have no bleeding but am having cramps and backache. I have already been booked for surgery tomorrow as I am not suitable for medical management. Iv tried to let nature take its course since finding out on Thursday but I just can’t continue and need help to get this over so I can have some closure. This is all so cruel. I just want my baby. I don’t even want to look at the screen this afternoon to see no heartbeat it’s just breaking my heart x
  • Yes it is cruel, but sometimes it's better to speed this up. So u can start healing and move on. I know there are no words which can make u feel better, but try to stay strong, don't forget your little angel and hopefully soon u will have another chance for happiness. 
  • Thank you @MadDoda I just need these next couple of days over so we can move on and try again. I’m hoping my hcg is already dropping as my nausea has now started to go and my breasts are softening back up and reducing in size. I just want to know how long I can expect to wait post surgery tomorrow until I will start to ovulate again? 
  • Awww it’s totally cruel and heartbreaking but when it’s over, you can start to grieve properly and start trying again as that’s obviously what you want. I was exactly the same. Everyone’s a little different but my period returned to normal very quickly. I actually found the surgery more humane than the medical management I’d had before. Sending you a big hug- be strong, you can do this.xxxxxx
  • @MrsH02 it's impossible to say, I suggest u start tracking bbt and no regular bd or opk. Coz ur cycles maybe messes up for awhile. 
  • Well ladies it’s all done. My surgery was yesterday and it all went to plan. I just feel so empty now 😔. 

    Can I ask when should start bbt charting again- once the hcg has returned to normal??
  • I’m glad it’s done but I know that empty feeling! Cry as much as you need to! Scream if you have to! Whatever makes you feel better. 
    I was told when you have a negative test result, you’re good to go! 
    just as a bit of a little warning... I turned a little bit psycho about getting pregnant again. I do think it was grief but I was quite difficult to live with. Try to be kind to yourself.xxxx
  • I'm so sorry once again. Make sure hcg is gone and when it is you can start over. I would start bbt as soon as possible to have a data as ov can happen fairly fast after hcg is gone. Good luck and make sure to be kind to yourself. It wasn't ur fault, life is cruel.
  • Thank you @EmJ3 and @MadDoda im so greatful for your kind words and support at what feels like such a lonely time. It’s all just so raw but I know I need to and will move on. My husband has gone back to work today and my children are at school & college so it’s just me and the dog. The poor dog has seen my cry & scream & just let me hug him when I need it.
    I’m hoping my hcg drops quickly as the hospital gave me a few tests and I just want to see a negative so we can move on. They advised 3 weeks to test and if still positive I need to go back in as I may have some retained products (highly unlikely though). I was told by the epau that following surgical management it does tend to drop quicker as they remove the whole pregnancy in one go.
    They allowed me to bring my baby home so we can bury here instead of the hospital cremating with other babies and scattering the ashes at one of the large local cemeteries. That brings me some comfort- we said we will buy a nice plant or little plaque in memory of this pregnancy. Again thank you ladies for your support- it has meant so much x 
  • Hopefully it will drop fast, it is doubtfull they would miss anything. 

    It's very nice that you can do something like this. It definitely brings a peace of mind. 

    You can chat to me even on priv any time, I'm very good with bbt so I can definitely help. I mced 3 times at early stages, but I definitely can offer u support when u feel down, I understand the grief and sorrow. It may never completely stop, but we can cope with it and remember.
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions