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Jeaslous of my sister, angry at my parents
This may seem really selfish but I need to get it off my chest.
My sister has just had her 1st baby, he is amazing and I'm really happy for her. Love them both to bits but I feel like I'm not getting any support now that my sister has a baby.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby and suffring from depression.
I moved to a diffrent town with mypartner and two kiddies but I don't know anyone here.I drop the kids off at school and when I'm not at work, I don't speak to anyone all day. I don't drive a although it's only 25 miles from my hometown it's really difficult to get back there to visit.
I used to see my friends and parents most days, now I rarely see anyone. My parents don't visit because my Dad doesn't want to drive to my house. The ony time I see them is when I drag my kids all the way to their house onthe train after school, which means they don't get to bed until late then they're grouchy the next day.
I rang my Mum in tears a few days ago, the only words I got out of my mouth were ' I just wondered if you could...' and she tutted and sighed so I didn't tell her I needed her.
She is with my sister eveyday, and I know she needs her too but I'm so unhappy and isolated. I need them too. My parents know I', depressed but it's like they don't have time to be there for me and my sis. They only have time for one of us.
Another thing that bothers me is that my parents are going to be looking after my nephew when my sis goes back to work, they always told me no and that my kids were my responsibility. I don't get any time away from my kids (seriously, none apart from when they're at school ) and my Mum and Dad are already looking afte my nephew while my sis and her huby go to the pub. (Her baby is les than 4 weeks old).
I'm just so scared of how I'm going to cope without the support I need. All I have is my partner and we're really not getting on well at the minute. We're on the verge of splitting up.
I know it's been a massive rant but if anyone has any advice for how to deal with this it wuld be greatl appreciated xx
My sister has just had her 1st baby, he is amazing and I'm really happy for her. Love them both to bits but I feel like I'm not getting any support now that my sister has a baby.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby and suffring from depression.
I moved to a diffrent town with mypartner and two kiddies but I don't know anyone here.I drop the kids off at school and when I'm not at work, I don't speak to anyone all day. I don't drive a although it's only 25 miles from my hometown it's really difficult to get back there to visit.
I used to see my friends and parents most days, now I rarely see anyone. My parents don't visit because my Dad doesn't want to drive to my house. The ony time I see them is when I drag my kids all the way to their house onthe train after school, which means they don't get to bed until late then they're grouchy the next day.
I rang my Mum in tears a few days ago, the only words I got out of my mouth were ' I just wondered if you could...' and she tutted and sighed so I didn't tell her I needed her.
She is with my sister eveyday, and I know she needs her too but I'm so unhappy and isolated. I need them too. My parents know I', depressed but it's like they don't have time to be there for me and my sis. They only have time for one of us.
Another thing that bothers me is that my parents are going to be looking after my nephew when my sis goes back to work, they always told me no and that my kids were my responsibility. I don't get any time away from my kids (seriously, none apart from when they're at school ) and my Mum and Dad are already looking afte my nephew while my sis and her huby go to the pub. (Her baby is les than 4 weeks old).
I'm just so scared of how I'm going to cope without the support I need. All I have is my partner and we're really not getting on well at the minute. We're on the verge of splitting up.
I know it's been a massive rant but if anyone has any advice for how to deal with this it wuld be greatl appreciated xx
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Replies
Big hug!
I don't have any advice for you at all really, just didn't want to R&R. It sounds like everything is pilling up on top of you at the moment - and it's no wonder you are finding it hard with no support. Have you spoken to your midwife about how you are feeling? Maybe she can sugest a local support group or something?
Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better soon.
Nx
it does sound unfair on you.x
Sending you big hugs xxxx
Ive not really got any solutions but.....
I would try and speak to your midwife or even your gp just for a check up and a bit of support.
Is there a homestart group near you? they may be able to get a homehelp lady to come and see you once a week to help(not sure how they work in your area though but gp/midwife may know)
I know EXACTLY how you feel in regards to your mum and sister I have the same thing going on and its still going on even though my nephew is nearly 6years old now.
I dont drive and I live about an hour away from any family(not that it would make any difference though as they dont help unless it suits them!). so I know how you feel, a little isolated/lonely...I wish i had a solution to that one too!!lol!!!
Have you tried to talk to your oh?(I know easier said than done sometimes!) Maybe you both need to see how you are feeling about things????.
Well thats it really but I do hope you feel a bit more positive soon(me too lol!!!)
Take care babe xxxxx
Wish i could help more
Gem 34+3 xxx
I find it dfficult to talk about my feelings to the people who I need to be talking to. I wouldn't say my sis and I are close and I can't really talk to my Mum about it because she'll feel she has to take sides.
I just don't want to end up falling out with them but thngs always seem to upset me. They go out 'as a family' quite often, my parents and my sis and her hubby but me and my family are never invited. I've tried talking to them about this before but it hasn't helped.
I've talked to my midwife about how I'm feeling and I'm seeing a pychiatrist on wednesday about going on medication.
There's something I hven't talked about with my midwife, I have told my partner but he thinks it's a personal attack on him for some reason. I'm scared I won't love my baby. I'm 18 weeks gone and after trying for nearly two years for another baby, now that I'm pregnant I feel like I don't want to be. I fee isolated enough as it is being in a new place where I don't know anyone and having a baby is just going to make me feel more trapped than I aready do.