Jeaslous of my sister, angry at my parents

Mrsclucky · Jan 26, 2009 4:52AM

This may seem really selfish but I need to get it off my chest.

My sister has just had her 1st baby, he is amazing and I'm really happy for her. Love them both to bits but I feel like I'm not getting any support now that my sister has a baby.

I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby and suffring from depression.

I moved to a diffrent town with mypartner and two kiddies but I don't know anyone here.I drop the kids off at school and when I'm not at work, I don't speak to anyone all day. I don't drive a although it's only 25 miles from my hometown it's really difficult to get back there to visit.

I used to see my friends and parents most days, now I rarely see anyone. My parents don't visit because my Dad doesn't want to drive to my house. The ony time I see them is when I drag my kids all the way to their house onthe train after school, which means they don't get to bed until late then they're grouchy the next day.

I rang my Mum in tears a few days ago, the only words I got out of my mouth were ' I just wondered if you could...' and she tutted and sighed so I didn't tell her I needed her.

She is with my sister eveyday, and I know she needs her too but I'm so unhappy and isolated. I need them too. My parents know I', depressed but it's like they don't have time to be there for me and my sis. They only have time for one of us.

Another thing that bothers me is that my parents are going to be looking after my nephew when my sis goes back to work, they always told me no and that my kids were my responsibility. I don't get any time away from my kids (seriously, none apart from when they're at school ) and my Mum and Dad are already looking afte my nephew while my sis and her huby go to the pub. (Her baby is les than 4 weeks old).

I'm just so scared of how I'm going to cope without the support I need. All I have is my partner and we're really not getting on well at the minute. We're on the verge of splitting up.

I know it's been a massive rant but if anyone has any advice for how to deal with this it wuld be greatl appreciated xx

nikkiandneil · Jan 23, 2009 8:58AM

Oh huni!
Big hug!
I don't have any advice for you at all really, just didn't want to R&R. It sounds like everything is pilling up on top of you at the moment - and it's no wonder you are finding it hard with no support. Have you spoken to your midwife about how you are feeling? Maybe she can sugest a local support group or something?

Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better soon.
Nx

ladyblue · Jan 23, 2009 9:04AM

have you spoken to your sister? does your sister drive? could she come and see you during the day? maybe if your sister mentioned to your parents that you need them too they may realise?

it does sound unfair on you.x

babs4 · Jan 23, 2009 9:12AM

Hey babe,
Sending you big hugs xxxx
Ive not really got any solutions but.....
I would try and speak to your midwife or even your gp just for a check up and a bit of support.
Is there a homestart group near you? they may be able to get a homehelp lady to come and see you once a week to help(not sure how they work in your area though but gp/midwife may know)
I know EXACTLY how you feel in regards to your mum and sister I have the same thing going on and its still going on even though my nephew is nearly 6years old now.
I dont drive and I live about an hour away from any family(not that it would make any difference though as they dont help unless it suits them!). so I know how you feel, a little isolated/lonely...I wish i had a solution to that one too!!lol!!!
Have you tried to talk to your oh?(I know easier said than done sometimes!) Maybe you both need to see how you are feeling about things????.
Well thats it really but I do hope you feel a bit more positive soon(me too lol!!!)
Take care babe xxxxx

mumCarter · Jan 23, 2009 9:17AM

Oh Hun - i really feel for you, sounds like not a very nice place to be in, mentally. All i could suggest is trying to talk to your parents and let them know how you feel, in a round about way, even if it's just letting them know you need someone to talk too. Are you close to your sister? maybe you could have a little chat with her, i know she'll have her hands full but all your asking for is some help? Do you mind me asking why you don't talk to anyone at work? It might be worth trying to get some work buddies so you can vent while your there. Or even phone your old friends from back home and arrange to meet up - at least you can rant impartially to friends

I can't say I know how you feel but imagine you must feel quite lonely... from your post you've got so much going on that i would just try and break everything down and don't expect too much of yourself - or things will just get so on top of you. I know easier said than done. Try not to be in your own head too much as depression is an evil thing, it's like mould, give it an inch and it'll take over you. Rather than thinking about everything all the time try and occupy yourself with other thoughts. Even try a diary then everything isn't going round your head you're letting it out.... sorry if i haven't been much help but didn't want to read and run. Take care hun - get the choccies out later and have a bit of you time when the LO's have gone to bed

Wish i could help more

Gem 34+3 xxx

Mrsclucky · Jan 26, 2009 4:52AM

Thanks for your lovely responses.

I find it dfficult to talk about my feelings to the people who I need to be talking to. I wouldn't say my sis and I are close and I can't really talk to my Mum about it because she'll feel she has to take sides.

I just don't want to end up falling out with them but thngs always seem to upset me. They go out 'as a family' quite often, my parents and my sis and her hubby but me and my family are never invited. I've tried talking to them about this before but it hasn't helped.

I've talked to my midwife about how I'm feeling and I'm seeing a pychiatrist on wednesday about going on medication.

There's something I hven't talked about with my midwife, I have told my partner but he thinks it's a personal attack on him for some reason. I'm scared I won't love my baby. I'm 18 weeks gone and after trying for nearly two years for another baby, now that I'm pregnant I feel like I don't want to be. I fee isolated enough as it is being in a new place where I don't know anyone and having a baby is just going to make me feel more trapped than I aready do.

Jeaslous of my sister, angry at my parents

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