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Trying and not giving up!

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  • MadDodaMadDoda Regular
    edited Jan 10, 2020 4:26PM
    @PinkSnow410 didn't want to write there, she had break from chat and clinic told her no way she ov (in opposite to her chart). They were so wrong she got bfp and was put on P. She had scan earlier but baby was measuring small and no hb. Today she will have another, but she isn't very well cuz the chances are...  Not to good.
  • Oh man. Thanks for telling me. I asked about her before and nobody said. I think if all the ladies and hope everyone is ok. Poor love. I'll keep her in my thoughts. 
  • I seriously wish this would be easier for all of us. At least dd and vrob are surviving, coz otherwise it would be just newbies all the time.
  • Yday Gabi's godfather was visiting us. He actually asked if we are thinking of second. That was tough, I said yeah, but it's not that simple. He then said isn't it just to have sex, and I said apparently not.... I think he catch up on the thought then, coz stopped asking. I know he meant well, but damn that was hard. It's first time this happened to me. 

    On the bright side uni starts on Monday I'm all ready! Gonna be sooo good. Got couple essays and a report this semester again. Will keep my mind busy. Good i had chance to rest finally, dh is a star, when he is home. Gonna jump him later haha. We are back to our usual since he is on holiday, can't feel better. At least this cheers me up.
  • I'm still chatting in the bfp chat, but I definitely feel like this is my safe space to share ❤️ sometimes it just gets to be too much over there...
    I'm so glad you have uni to look forward to and that DH is still on holiday and sexing you up so much 😍  it's unfortunate gabis godfather asked that. So many people have no clue that there can be so many issues and so much strife in ttc. It amazes me how clueless most people are. I feel like there needs to be more awareness about infertility and the difficulties ttc.
  • I'm also still on that thread, Just less active, I post if I see it's needed. But if it will get overwhelming one more time I will probably stop completely not sure I can continue dealing with it. 
    I'm not mad about this, Just made me a bit sad, thankfully he realised quickly. 

    To be honest I was surprised @PinkSnow410 that u could take that baby updates so head on easily, coz I was crushed each time, while we were having bunch of mcs and talks about struggle, those were popping up and I was on fire internally... 
  • @MadDoda I didn't take them all so well all the time. There were points back in the summer where I was so angry at anyone that got a bfp. Like I was happy for them but also so angry and sad for myself. I had to take a break from the forum bc I wasn't handling my feelings. But I spent a lot of time focusing on gratitude and trying to change my internal monologue and it got better. Now I'm in this place of acceptance that we all have our own journeys to walk. I want to experience pregnancy and being a mom more than anything, but it might never happen for me, so I'm trusting that there will be other places for me to experience that kind of love, like with the children I nanny. I'm still hoping and trying, but I'm preparing myself mentally for the reality that it might never happen, and that has to be ok... Somehow. So right now, I feel like I'm ok.
  • @PinkSnow410 I found the most recent once very insensitive and thats what I meant saying ur taking it well, coz for me it was very hard to take and after talk with @Emmy012 we thought new quite thread is needed. I really admire how u handle all this, and no matter what I'm here for u, coz I know that no matter how strong we are there are moments it's good to have someone, who can understand. Hugs love.

    @cloudrainbow any time u need a virtual hug we are here, it's nice and quite so whenever u want come over. Hugs
  • Yeah I am really tired of having to explain myself over and over again. Like sometimes someone will ask me a question that I literally just answered two chats above. Maybe the hormones are kicking in and that's why I feel this way but the other chat is making me cranky rn. 

    @MadDoda yeah well I'm really really glad you talked to Emmy and made this thread. I needed it. I love you ladies. I'm sorry it was causing you pain, I'm always here for you too
  • @PinkSnow410 having all the MCs and my own but some of the insensitivity of others was just too much. I felt angry and bitter and it was just a constant reminder of what I almost had. I'm pleased for BFPs but there's only so much I can take. 

    I needed this space too ❤️
  • Line is lighter, I guess bad egg. Hahahaha
  • @MadDoda ☹️ That sucks. How sensitive was the test?

    ive just had a patch of 3 days EWCM, wondering if I’ve somehow magically OV like I normal person! I’m CD12 but didn’t temp this morning. Not that it matters much anyway. I do get it after AF anyway but usually for one day. Would be good if I do OV early cus it shows something’s getting better
  • I repeated the frer.
  • Oh @MadDoda I’m sorry. Fingers crossed you get your appointment soon and can go through all of this with them x
  • Hey guys, thanks for the tag (Iv only just switched my notifications back on following the 1st mc as was getting alerts from due in may group). Iv not been overly active the last few days as to be honest like you all I’m sick of seeing all the bfps for people that have been ttc for a week! I know I sound bitter but I can honestly say I find it hard to say congrats to people who have literally dropped there knickers and bam have 2 pink lines. 

    @Aliciab90 I feel for you hun. Me and dh went through a period a few years ago where I desperately wanted another and he basically told me it was never going to happen. It was a dark time and our relationship went severely down hill. Early last year we nearly split  after some huge issues not just baby related. We have thankfully worked through them then bam he wanted another so here we are and we finally have our marriage in a really great place again, we have been together 19 years in may so it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together sometimes things just get hard, I’m sure you will work it out together. 

    @MadDoda I’m gutted to read your test got lighter x 

    and to everyone else I’m still so hopeful we will all get there, I’m so grateful for all you lovely ladies who actually understand each other and the struggles of ttc and mc xx
  • I hope it will come and go quickly. Coz I'm so empty I can't even cry.
  • Just realised I mced fit the first time exactly two years ago at 10jan , I wish story would repeat itself and I get a baby now like I did that time. And the bloody app letter is nowhere to be seen
  • @MrsH02 Hi sweetie, it's a nice quiet space here, it's lovely to have you back (despite the circumstances) x

    @MadDoda I'm so sorry sweetheart ❤️
  • @MadDoda I'm so sorry love. 

    @MrsH02 I'm glad you are here
  • I should start taking bets, when I will be pregnant again lol
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