Avoiding social situations
Summer08
Regular
Does anyone else try and avoid social places that may ask you the dreaded questions like “are going to have kids or want kids”? I have pretty much avoided all situations since my miscarriage. My husband is getting frustrated with me and I just can’t help it. It breaks my heart that I can’t just say yes I’m pregnant now. He doesn’t understand and it’s causing issues with us.
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I actually was asked for the first time ever recently, if we are having another. I said it's not that simple. He said I thought it's just sex u need. I said apparently not. Then he catch up with his thoughts and abandoned the topic.
Sometimes ppl need shock therapy. I understand u, I was avoiding all social contact for awhile now, but I'm working on fixing it now.
You need to do what is best for you, but total avoidance isn't good for ur mental health. Still, don't rush it, take it slowly. Maybe explain dh that u don't wanna be pressured and take it slowly. You just had traumatic event u have every right to feel the way u do. Hugs
I understand where you are coming from. I don't avoid social situations now, but there was a time when I did. I think most times when people ask about having children, they do it and don't mean to be rude, they are just interested. Depending on how it is done, it can be very rude. I have had the comment about age as well (I am 35). It can be deeply hurtful. We are 9 month into ttc baby number 3 and it is hard. I can't imagine how you feel with your mc. We haven't told anyone we are ttc number 3. I do however like to get people to think about the questions they ask and how they do it. My response to most of the questions I get asked is usually that I don't answer questions about ttc as it is a question I try not to ask other people as you never know who is going through fertility treatment or who is struggling, or has experienced a mc. Most people who. I have said that to, do tend to stop and think and have said they hadn't thought of that.
On the flip side, one of my friends has chosen not to have children. She lives a very happy and fulfilled life. The amount of questions she gets about ttc etc is horrendous. She is quite open and tells them that her and her DH have no plans in having children. She then gets quite a few who voice their opinion that she is weird and try to convince her to change her mind etc.
Try not to avoid social situations if you can. Just remember, there are many people who have done through similar to you, it is just not talked about much.