Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

If you've just miscarried and need some support

1121315171821

Replies

  • Hi @Littlepandacub first of all im so sorry you are going through this, please dont ever think any of this is your fault unfortunately it does just happen. 
    i have had 2 mc last year first natural 2nd time i had the d&c surgery, i would suggest this option. Its not nice to see or feel what you do if you let it go naturally. 
    The d&c they vacuum it out, you will be sore stomach for a few days i was bruised aswell but after a few days its okay. Feel free to inbox me xx
  • @Littlepandacub if im correct u have the option to pass naturally which i chose bc i was only 5+1 n i found out bc i gad already started bleeding....the worst part of that was seeing the blood n knowing what it was....made potty trips terrifying for the first few days......the next option is a pill which will help u start passing it faster kinda like a plan b but not a plan b.....and the last option is a dnc which sounded sooooooo scary to me.....n im not exactly sure what happens but @Emmy012 might.....what do u mean by mark their losses???? n u should pick whatever makes u feel comfortable remember YOUR body is the one that has to go thru it.....and for some questions they dont quite answer you cant have sex until ur done bleeding to prevent infection in both u n him....yes u can ovulate before ur next period.....and ur cycle after will be very different.....just remember hun spoil urself n take care of u ....its been a month since mine n it still hurts
  • @Amnx they vacuum it out!!!! oh no :( see i couldnt have gone thru that :( ....i hope u had a really nice dr....i know sometimes they have drs during that that refer to the baby as it and other rude things......my dr at the er tried his best to avoid that he said the baby every time n my actual dr called the baby my angel <3 i feel like i could not go thru a dnc .....i didnt get an option to choose though bc it had already started
  • So sorry for your loss @Littlepandacub. It’s an awful situation. I have experienced both options and it really does depend. waiting for the baby to pass naturally is perhaps ‘kinder’ on your body but very traumatic for the mind. It’s a little scary. The d and c, for me was quick and less traumatic but it is a little procedure. I was the same gestation. 

    I also gave birth to my sleeping baby at 20/21 weeks too- very traumatic. 

    It depends how it’s affecting you. Sending you a big hug.xxx
  • i feel like i give major props n respect to those that had a dnc.....ive heard soooo many awful stories about them that i dont think i will ever get one if it becomes an option in the future :/ 
  • @Amnx they vacuum it out!!!! oh no :( see i couldnt have gone thru that :( ....i hope u had a really nice dr....i know sometimes they have drs during that that refer to the baby as it and other rude things......my dr at the er tried his best to avoid that he said the baby every time n my actual dr called the baby my angel <3 i feel like i could not go thru a dnc .....i didnt get an option to choose though bc it had already started
    Yeah they vacuum rather than scrape, i was terrified but they knock you out with anesthetic and honestly was so much better physically and emotionally then natural! They refer to it as product which i think is really insensitive!
  • @Amnx see the first time they say product id be out....like byeee lol......i mentally couldnt do that....i mean seeing the blood for me was traumatic but knowing how the process is done n how they refer to my angel i couldnt do it.......id get really mad n leave i know it......i might b wrong but i dont think they offer a procedure in US unless u need it.....my sister said it wasnt offered to her for her 6w or her 16w :/
  • Thank you for all your lovely responses and comments, its so nice to talk to people who have been in the same situation and getting your views, im still not 100% decided on which option, i have appountment at epu tuesday. I feel so devastated, it took us 19 months to get pregnant this time, just hope it doesnt take as long again when we try again, once we get the all clear xxx
  • So so sorry to hear your loss! I had Manual vacuum aspiration under local anaesthetic and my reason for choosing that option was it seemed the quickest and lowest risk. They said that if you are under general anaesthetic the chance of perforation of the womb is ever so slightly higher because of you not being awake to feel and stop it (although I believe under general anaesthetic that risk is still very very low) and they said if you have the pessary to pass the baby naturally it can take much longer, and possibly not complete by itself so that you need the procedure anyway. I think if it hadn't been so close to christmas I may have gone with that option. But I have a 2 year old son and I was worried that if I didn't have the procedure when offered it on 22nd december I may end up miscarrying on Christmas day and being unable to spend it with my son. My procedure was ok, I was very anxious, and I could see and feel a lot of blood coming out of me. It's meant to be a very quick procedure, they said less than 5 minutes, but the baby wouldnt come away as easily as they hoped so it actually took closer to half an hour. The baby was taken away (he had broken into pieces so I wasnt able to look at him) and we had a joint cremation ceremony with other miscarried babies around 2 months later. We have decided to plant a tree in the spring and get a plaque made for in our garden. I would definitely take time to read the leaflets and discuss with family and friends the best option. Whatever you choose it's going to be hard and you will need support. However, it does get better with time. And though I'm sure the pain and loss will be with us forever, I'm now nearly 3 months on and I'm finding my grief more manageable. If you want to talk more feel free to message me. Be kind to yourself and take time to recover xxx
  • @Amnx see the first time they say product id be out....like byeee lol......i mentally couldnt do that....i mean seeing the blood for me was traumatic but knowing how the process is done n how they refer to my angel i couldnt do it.......id get really mad n leave i know it......i might b wrong but i dont think they offer a procedure in US unless u need it.....my sister said it wasnt offered to her for her 6w or her 16w :/
    The first time i had natural but i was haemorrhaging so it was extremely painful and not nice to see at all so thr next time we decided d&c was best. 
    They give all 3 options in the uk, i found out at my 12 week scan and had the d&c a week later. 
    I swear the first time was like a murder scene it happened at 13w1d and ive never seen anything so bad!!
  • So so sorry to hear your loss! I had Manual vacuum aspiration under local anaesthetic and my reason for choosing that option was it seemed the quickest and lowest risk. They said that if you are under general anaesthetic the chance of perforation of the womb is ever so slightly higher because of you not being awake to feel and stop it (although I believe under general anaesthetic that risk is still very very low) and they said if you have the pessary to pass the baby naturally it can take much longer, and possibly not complete by itself so that you need the procedure anyway. I think if it hadn't been so close to christmas I may have gone with that option. But I have a 2 year old son and I was worried that if I didn't have the procedure when offered it on 22nd december I may end up miscarrying on Christmas day and being unable to spend it with my son. My procedure was ok, I was very anxious, and I could see and feel a lot of blood coming out of me. It's meant to be a very quick procedure, they said less than 5 minutes, but the baby wouldnt come away as easily as they hoped so it actually took closer to half an hour. The baby was taken away (he had broken into pieces so I wasnt able to look at him) and we had a joint cremation ceremony with other miscarried babies around 2 months later. We have decided to plant a tree in the spring and get a plaque made for in our garden. I would definitely take time to read the leaflets and discuss with family and friends the best option. Whatever you choose it's going to be hard and you will need support. However, it does get better with time. And though I'm sure the pain and loss will be with us forever, I'm now nearly 3 months on and I'm finding my grief more manageable. If you want to talk more feel free to message me. Be kind to yourself and take time to recover xxx
    Hey mrsb
    they didnt offer me anything as in cremation or ceremony when i had my d&c, im glad you did and i think planting a tree is a lovely idea. I agree the pain and loss will he forever but it gets slightly more managable xx
  • Had a awfull few weeks missed miscarriage found out at a private scan should of been 8 weeks no heartbeat size wasnt what it should have been then had a sort of unknown 2 week wait same scenario again ,started bleeding like a period few weeks after then 8 days after bleeding I've had the most scariest bleed where I was soaking through a pad in 10 minutes, dripping out like water and the clots were the size of my palm ,I would of been 10 weeks now,so although the actual foetus wasnt that size my body had already prepared everything else placenta etc,the amount was shocking of tissue and blood called ambulance, hosp wanted 2 keep in due to the amount of blood loss overnight, towards the evening it started easing off slightly and I decided to go home come bak at 8 next morning for a scan to see if anything was left ,there is still a clot but the bleeding is only very little now the hosp are saying it should come out naturally but I'm a bit worried it wont and yet have further complications, this has dragged on for almost 3 weeks had 4 scans ,examinations etc just want to try and get my body back to normal 
  • So sorry @90schick. It’s such a traumatic experience for a lot of people, me included. Sending you a big hug. I hope things settle down really quickly now as it’s gone on long enough for you.xx. 
  • Thanks @EmJ3 it has actually put me off ttc more aswel ,aswel as the two consecutive miscarriages and the panic of bleeding like that I'm not sure and my partners not sure what to do for future, no one knows what the next may bring x
  • Hi @Littlepandacub, I am in NI so not sure how much difference this will make but I had my 12 weeks scan on 10th Feb only to find out I'd had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. Had an appointment a couple of days later with EPAU for another scan to confirm and to discuss options. I went for the surgical management as I'd had a 12 weeks miscarriage before and didn't want to go through it again naturally. It was a lot less tough on me physically. Little tenderness and spotting for a week or so.

    The hospital gave me the option of having a communal burial with other wee babies which was done by the hospital chaplains. That happened on Monday. You could ask and see if yours offers something similar or if you are able to do something to mark it. Hope you are okay xx
  • 90schick said:
    Had a awfull few weeks missed miscarriage found out at a private scan should of been 8 weeks no heartbeat size wasnt what it should have been then had a sort of unknown 2 week wait same scenario again ,started bleeding like a period few weeks after then 8 days after bleeding I've had the most scariest bleed where I was soaking through a pad in 10 minutes, dripping out like water and the clots were the size of my palm ,I would of been 10 weeks now,so although the actual foetus wasnt that size my body had already prepared everything else placenta etc,the amount was shocking of tissue and blood called ambulance, hosp wanted 2 keep in due to the amount of blood loss overnight, towards the evening it started easing off slightly and I decided to go home come bak at 8 next morning for a scan to see if anything was left ,there is still a clot but the bleeding is only very little now the hosp are saying it should come out naturally but I'm a bit worried it wont and yet have further complications, this has dragged on for almost 3 weeks had 4 scans ,examinations etc just want to try and get my body back to normal 
    This is near enough exactly what happened to me with my first mc, i had a couple of clots left after the next scan, they did come away on there own but it was a good few days afterwards, maybe even a week, just keep an eye xx
  • Thanks @amnx xx
  • I don’t know if it helps at all @90schick but I lost my baby boy at 20/21 weeks then Mc at 11 weeks but I now have a gorgeous baby girl Matilda who is nearly 7 months old, so good things can and do happen. It’s a bloody tough journey though.xxxx
  • Thanks for that @EmJ3 that would of been so so awfull for you I'm sorry ,so glad you have your lovely baby ❤❤
  • Hi ladies I have just experienced my 5th miscarriage in two years of trying this weekend 😔😭. I seem to be losing my angels all at 6 weeks 😔😭. Thought everything was different this time. Feeling so heartbroken 😔 They are now referring me to see a specialist . I need to go back to the hospital this evening to have more bloods done to make sure my hcg levels have dropped . I’m sorry for all your losses ladies xxxx💕😘💕😘
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions