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Postnatal depression??? Really worried....

I'm feeling better after my temper tantrum last night but it's frightened me because I'm not normally like that :cry: I just cried, swore most of the evening and slammed doors :\(

I am a born worrier and I get really anxious about stuff, sometimes completely irrevlent things... I find it quite hard to talk about whats bothering me although I have got better in the 5 years me and hubby have been together. I don't actually feel depressed, so I don't think anti-depressents are necessary although I already take Citalopram because I'm dsypraxic.

Does anyone know if being a worrier/anxious person can be linked to PND? I have quite a low self esteem and I've been thinking thoughts that I'm gonna be a crap mum and the baby will hate me and everyone is going to pull me to pieces and tell me I'm doing it all wrong :\(

I go to see my midwife on Friday and my consultant next week, hubby thinks I should raise my concerns with the consultant when we see him but that means ringing his secretary and requesting my consultation with him and not one of his team.... Sorry gone on abit!!

Fed up :\?

Replies

  • all new mums to be worry about being a crap mum and we learn from are mistakes you will be a great mum. but do speak to your midwife cos keeping it all bottled up in side isnt good for you or the little one tc xxx jojo xxx
  • hi honey, sorry to hear that you are worrying about things.
    I am no expert but i have degree in psychology and my lil girls dad has borderline personality disorder (related to acute anxiety) and OCD so i will tell what i know of these things...
    You must seek help and speak to someone at this stage about your concerns. It is not guaranteed that you will or won't get PND as a result of your anxious personality but it can be a factor. it really depends on how your anxiety manifests itself - do u suffer intrusive, negative thoughts about the people u care about? From what u have said, it would appear that there are some negative thoughts creeping in, directed towards your own abilities as a mum and i really think that tackling these worries at this stage could help massively. please do not leave it until after the birth as any negativity/worries can be applified by the hormone withdrawal you will experience after the birth and although u probably will not get PND, it may impact on the first part of your babies life and make it less enjoyable.
    Everyone will have doubts and worries during pg, its kind of part of the deal but if it worries you, just have a chat with mw now so that she can put your mind at ease. Talking to consultant (or even member of his team) is good idea as they can refer you to a professional if they feel you are at risk of PND.
    Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. the bottom line is that anxiety (in its medically diagnosed form), low self esteem and the withdrawal of pg hormones after birth could potentially put u at risk of developing PND. Pls talk to someone now to see if mw or consultant can help. let me know if you want to talk any more (can use msn or email if u want some privacy), however there is no reason why u should be destined for PND, you will make an excellent mum and things will work out. i understand how hard it is to believe these things when said but u cn get through this.
    Hope this helps, pls let me know if u wanna chat
    Claudia 34+2 xxxxxxxx
  • Hi MrsT

    I volunteered myself for a session with the maternity counsellor due to a longstanding issue with my parents which I knew was likely to cause problems when it was announced that I was pregnant (they're ignoring DH and I and don't seen to want anything to do with us). The counsellor decided I didn't need further treatment as I'd had counselling in the past about this issue and am dealing with it OK :\) but she did mention that just because I had anxiety in the past, it didn't mean that I was any more at risk of PND which I was really glad to hear. Could it be pregnancy hormones that are making you feel down at the moment?

    Good luck - hope you feel better soon x
  • Thank you, as always writing it down helps :\)

    My dsypraxia (I'm also dyslexic) itself is a problem, it's classed as a mild form of learning disability. I don't function in the same way other people do, I struggle with prioritising, poor short term memory - I need things to be written down and sometimes step by step instructions (I'm brilliant at baking as a result of this!!). I have problems with communication especially non-verbal and peoples facial expressions. I sometimes mis-read the signals and think people are being 'off' with me which in turn makes me rude and abrupt with them.... I'm concerned I might mistake people trying to help me as people telling me I'm rubbish at looking after my baby - kinda like taking constructive critiscim personally when its intended to be helpful advice.

    My profession is a nurse (and I can't tell you how I managed to get through my training because thats something I still don't know 3 years later) and these two conditions have caused me major major problems at work and it looks like I'm no longer going to be able to continue with my career

    Bit of a mess really eh!? :lol:
  • aww honey, sounds like you are having a hard time and are up against it at work as well.
    Lots of people have lots of advice and lots of things to say when you have a new baby and it can be really hard not to reflect this negatively on your own abilities as a mum. nobody will ever really be saying that you are not doing things right but it can be hard not to take things the wrong way and as you say, if misinterpretation of communication and social cues can be an issue for you, it may make things harder for you. Do you have someone that you trust who can help you out? Maybe your oh or a friend who knows you well can be around when mw/health visitor is around and can then help you to list the main points without dwelling on any constructive criticism or percieved negativity?
    You have done amazingly in achieving what you have in your career, i wish i had done something worthwhile like nursing! is there someone at work that you can speak to for some support?
    As i said, do let me know if you wanna chat and do try to have a talk with mw about your concerns and the reasons why u are worrried - am certain that there is plenty of help out there for you xxxx
  • Thanks Claudia, will def speak to my consultant and midwife... The midwife who booked me in took it down in my history and I explained abit about it to her, she said she would leave it to the cons to decide if I needed extra assistance :\?

    My hubby is the best person who understands my conditions not only because he lives with me but at times we have battled our way through our relationship untill my diagnosis in 2007 when things became alot easier.... He does his best to understand and really has been a big help
  • Hi Mrs T,
    I'm sorry your having a bad time Mrs T, this is an area that is so cloudy. All I can say is that you really should raise your concerns, they may say it's nothing but at least you've spoken about it! And hopefully they can settle your worries.

    I had really bad PND after my 2nd child, I was only 19 (with a 18mth old) when my son was born and I was a real mess, my doctor at the time basically said the problem is due to the fact that I was over weight- this helped loads!!
    Therefore I was too scared to say anything else, which ended up in me being very very poorly 2 years later, by this time I was clinically depressed. I am petrified of this happening again, and so I struggled and told my midwife about my worries. Due to my history she filled in a refferal 'just in case' they want to see me.
    I feel so much better since I did this, a weight has been lifted-I know that my midwife knows how I feel and she can keep an eye on me.
    I hope they give you the support you need, Take care-and keep talking!!
    Lydia xxx
    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev280pr___.png

  • Hi hon

    Just wanted to say that you are really amazing to have achieve what you have done to date (career, marriage, pregnancy) and I admire your honesty and your recognition of whatever problems may or may not come up.

    I would also add that your husband be responsible for making sure you seek help if he feels you need it. I know pnd can really distort your thoughts so on top of the battles you already face, it may be too much for you to put coherent thought to it to seek professional help. Your husband, being a step removed would be in a better position to do that.

    Great advice from all the ladies above.

    Big hugs to you!

    Karenxx
    34+2
  • Hi hon

    Just wanted to say that you are really amazing to have achieve what you have done to date (career, marriage, pregnancy) and I admire your honesty and your recognition of whatever problems may or may not come up.

    I would also add that your husband be responsible for making sure you seek help if he feels you need it. I know pnd can really distort your thoughts so on top of the battles you already face, it may be too much for you to put coherent thought to it to seek professional help. Your husband, being a step removed would be in a better position to do that.

    Great advice from all the ladies above.

    Big hugs to you!

    Karenxx
    34+2
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