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Any other single mums of 2 ???

I’m 21 years old and I’ve a 3 year old little boy who is the most amazing little boy he’ll be 4 in feb, I recently found out I was pregnant with baby number 2 due august 2021, I think the shock is wearing off and reality is hitting.
I was with the dad 3 years before our first came along, he has a son previous relationship whom will now be 6 I was involved a lot him growin up we we got together when he was just 4 months, the start of our relationship wasnt the best, domestic violence took place until i found out I was pregnant with baby number 1 and it all changed we got the help we desperately needed and we were the happiest we’d been he was amazing during it all until my son was 6 months old and I suffered with postnatal depression and everything went wrong from there we both let each other down massively, he moved on with another girl and I moved away with our son whom they had regular weekly contact with, he got in touch 6 months ago and wanted me back, (still with girl he moved on with) I didn’t want this at the time, we’d been through so and we’d both just found ourselves again, he some how managed to make me fall in love with him all over again ( a million emotions) and we continued to see each other regularly after he’d drop our son at nursery, it was a tough situation we both wanted out of but couldn’t break ties. I then found out I was pregnant and our worlds came crashing down what we had been doing became reality and many people have gotten hurt.
I know deep down we both love each other but I’m unsure as to whether that because of our history and our son together (we have been through A LOT) he’s since turned on me, hates me and I’m ruining his life, his relationship will breakdown if I go through with this pregnancy and says I’m selfish if I do so, I’ve through so so so so long and hard about abortion but I can’t see myself going through with it at all, it would break me in more ways then one being my sons full sibling. The dad has apologised for it all and has stated he never meant foe this or for anyone to get hurt including myself. I’ve seriously considered adoption also but my son would love to be a big brother, he’s forever  asking me to have a baby but I just don’t see a way out right now, I just want to run a million miles away like the coward I am but I’ve got to stay strong for my son something I’m struggling to do....
I want this baby, so badly but I know in my own I can’t provide the best life that they most definitely deserve, I never pictured myself with another child, me and my son Make a good team and we work. I don’t have much support my nana and my dad are close by but have both said how disappointed they are in me, my mum ran away over 2 year ago and have since had no contact It’s all scary and I’ve turned to this foe help? Please don’t judge, we’ve all made mistakes and we all have our own demons. Any advice out there please???? 

(Sorry for the essay I’m in bits writing this) 

Replies

  • @Megs1825 I hope you’re ok. Firstly, it’s a tricky situation to be in but surely you can do this??? If you’re strong enough to get through all the things you have, you’re strong enough to do this too! I think abortion is a woman’s personal choice, but it doesn’t really sound like that’s what you actually want?

    I think you can do it! The baby’s dad should help you financially- it’s his responsibility too!xxx
  • Hello, 

    Oh I do really feel for you reading this :( doesn't sound like the happy time that pregnancy should be. I agree with @EmJ3, you can totally do this :) x
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