Am I Crazy?!

Hi. 

So where do I begin? 

I'm 26 years old and have had 2 miscarriages. One at 17 and one at 19. 

Since my first miscarriage I have had irregular, very heavy and very painful periods. Some would last 6 months of heavy bleeding. So after trail and error of many things to help them, we settled on the implant which completely stopped my periods. 

My implant expired October 2020, and thanks to covid the waiting list to get it changed was so long I didnt get it replaced until April 2021. 

The doctor had issues replacing my implant and i was in her office a good hour with her placing the implant. I got really sharp nerve pain down my arm that had the implant in it. I called the doctor and they told me it will take a while then sort out. It didn't. So I called to get it removed as I could no longer feel it and the nerve pain was so severe. However the doctor who was trained left and the surgery had to train up a new doctor but assured me I was top of the list to get it taken out.

Cut to Mid September I had a single day of light spotting. I found this very weird as I dont get periods so I tested- negetive so went about my life.

the weeks went on and I noticed more and more symptoms just like my first pregnancies. I tested again and negetive so again went on with my life. 

Finally got the implant removed in December and my concerns about my pregnancy symptoms were dismissed due to the negetive results plus the implant (took over an hour to remove as was deep in my arm).

We are now into January and I still feel pregnant I have this huge gut feeling. my stomach is getting bigger (I havent changed my diet and I work out) I cant fit into my Jean's I try to suck it in but it doesnt make a difference. Plus many many more symptoms including, heartburn which I never get and my boobs have grown and are very veiny. My nipples are larger and my areola is very dark and spotty(?).

Am I crazy? I cant possibly be pregnant right? i mean firstly, no periods as was on the implant. secondly was on the implant even if inserted far too deep it would still be working. And thirdly the negetive results.

My doctor completely disregards me and tells me how pregnancy works which I know lol. She done tests on my bowel, kidneys and liver. also tested my thyroid all came back perfect and she has left it like that. 

My friend  says if you want something so much you can convince your body you are. But the thing is, me and my partner are in no place to add to our family he is not ready and neither am I as I'm terrified of another miscarriage. So it's not my mind playing tricks on me.

I feel pregnant my body is telling me I am, but the tests are saying other wise. if I am pregnant I'd be 17 weeks, its surely not possible to be pregnant at 17 weeks and not have a single positive.

I'm curious has anyone else been like this? What has your outcome been? 

Ps, I am continuing to fight with my doctor to get more tests done and for this to be looked in to, and I am also looking into changing gp.

(First time poster, I know I sound crazy!)