TTC and feeling helplessly alone
laurenl91
Regular
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year now. We're in our early 30s, have no health concerns and recently had a fertility MOT which has flagged no issues. And yet month after month, we don't fall pregnant.
Is anyone else in this position? I don't know anyone who is and I feel so alone with it all. I find it so difficult to speak with my friends about how frustrating this last year has been, because as great as they are they just do not understand. People constantly say "you'll be fine" or "just give it time" but sometimes what I think I really need is just to connect with someone who is in the same boat.
If anyone out there is reading this and nodding along because they understand how it feels, please feel free to message me. Would also be great to hear from anyone who was in this position and did then fall pregnant naturally. Maybe some hope is what is needed!
Is anyone else in this position? I don't know anyone who is and I feel so alone with it all. I find it so difficult to speak with my friends about how frustrating this last year has been, because as great as they are they just do not understand. People constantly say "you'll be fine" or "just give it time" but sometimes what I think I really need is just to connect with someone who is in the same boat.
If anyone out there is reading this and nodding along because they understand how it feels, please feel free to message me. Would also be great to hear from anyone who was in this position and did then fall pregnant naturally. Maybe some hope is what is needed!
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Replies
- bloody hell it’s hard. It’s so hard. Give yourself some grace, allow yourself to get upset and wallow and then pick yourself up. Putting on a brave face only gets you so far.
either way, I’m with all of you… praying for good news for each and every of us!!
I have also been struggling for some time. We started trying in September of last year and for the first few months I was so hopeful and excited. Slowly over time my hopefulness has started to fade. I’m in my late 20’s and everyone keeps telling me “you’re so young. You have time. It’ll happen. Stop trying so hard.” But to me those are all things I don’t want to hear. To be quite frank.. I don’t know that there’s anything anyone can say that will truly make me feel better about it all. It makes conversations with friends hard, because most of my friends already have children and didn’t exactly struggle to conceive. I just recently had an appointment with my OB and he doesn’t want to perform any additional tests until at least the two year mark. I just feel like no one takes my concerns seriously, or quite understands what this is doing to my mental. Every month when I get my period I just feel like a failure, like my body isn’t doing what it’s meant to do. If you ever need to talk or vent or even cry, feel free to message me.
Does anyone else struggle with obsessive thoughts? I think that's the hardest part for me. I wake up and it's the first thing I think of, and from then on it's what my mind always comes back to throughout the day. There is always a cloud of sadness and despair at the moment, it's exhausting.
Sending love to everyone on this journey. If only others could understand how difficult it can be. Would be great to keep speaking to you all and sharing our lows, as it really can be such a comfort.
Worth saying that we did have to go privately for this and we're very lucky that our work paid for these tests as part of our healthcare benefit. But if it is something that is available to you then my view is why wait!
My husband makes it really difficult for me to talk about it:(
I have all these mixed emotions that recently I'm starting to really dislike people who get pregnant without trying etc and who just have accidents etc
Xx
It's difficult to even write this to you all, despite never having met you I still feel guilty that I have had a positive month and so many of you haven't. I want to say thank you to each of you for your messages over this past year. It has been so amazing to feel the support of so many women who have been going through a similar struggle, and I will still be here to speak with anyone who wants to have a chat. I will never forget how difficult this journey has been and hope that everyone on here gets their happy ending.