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Not getting on with hubby advice please

Hi all,

I come on here regulary but need some advice. Hubby sometimes comes on here thats why I'm under a different name.

I had a baby 5 weeks ago and all through the pregnancy we have been having arguements off and on. Since having the baby things were ok till a few weeks ago and he started being funny with me when I asked him things. I told him I'm fed up of it and it keeps on I'm leaving with the baby. He as got a little better but he is still funny with me. I'm not sure I love him any more cos of the way he acts towards me and doesn't think I do much cos I'm at home all day. No I just look after the baby and sort the house oout do the shopping get dinner and tea ready for when he gets home. I have to ask if its ok to go in the bath and shower incase he needs me!! I'm getting fed up of it. Just feel like i need to get this off my chest. Shoul I leave him?

Thanks
xx

Replies

  • Based on the brief outline here, I wouldn't leave him.
    You've just had a baby and you're both knackered, sleep-deprived and going through all sorts of changes to your roles within the relationship. Plus your hormones may be all over the place, which could be making you more sensitive to him or vice versa.

    Try to let it settle - tell him you'd like to draw a line under the bickering, write off the past few months to stress and baby, and just try to be nicer to eachother - him being nicer to you too. Try to grin & be more friendly for a few months - agree to review it when baby's 6 months old or so.

    Hope it helps - we're waiting for our first right now but everyone's warned us to be ready for a really rocky few months when baby arrives - it's brutal on both of you and it puts the relationship under a lot of strain... hopefully it's worth riding out the storm!
    xx
  • Woow there, dont be too hasty, your hormones are every where so soon after birth and so you should take a step back for a while and relax before making any hasty decisions!

    men are a different breed to us and dont and never will understand what its like to be pregnant or have a baby emotionally or physically, try to work things through with him honey, take it from one who knows being a single parent aint any fun so unless you have irreconsiable differences dont jump from the frying pan into the fire.

    Take care and hope you feel better soon x
  • I agree with the other ladies - waaaaaay too soon to be making huge decisions like this. Remember you've been through 9 months of hormonally challenged turmoil and your lo is only 5 weeks and therefore your hormones are still raging, you're both knackered, the game plan has changed in terms of your family etc etc.

    I'd also agree with letting him take charge for a while - disappear out (easier said than done if you're bf'ing I know) and let him have some valuable bonding time with his lo and realise that it's not all a bed of roses - make sure you leave him with a list of everything you would normally do during the day as well so he doesn't just sit on his rear in front of the telly thinking how easy it is!

    Hugs hon - think you both need them - try to remember you're fighting the same war (parents vs new baby!!!)

    Karenxx
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