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Single Mum.Doing this on my own.
Hi,
Is anyone else going through pregnancy on their own?
I am doing this on my own and I am sure this is what I want to do with the rest of my life but I haven't had contact with any other women who are going through pregnancy alone. I am 38 and this is my first pregnancy. I was told a few years ago that I would not be able to have children (premature menopause)and this pregnancy has been a complete shock, but I am so happy and feel that this baby has chosen to be with me despite all the odds!
My partner left a few months ago (the shock news was just too much for him) and even though I wanted him to be involved and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, I am going forward with this pregnancy and feel a deep love for my baby so just want to do the best thing for her.
I have tried to have no negative feelings towards him or get upset about the situation, as it won't change the way he feels and I want my baby not not have to suffer from stress.
My medical team have been brilliant and I feel very supported by them. I have lots of very good friends around the country, no one lives near to me. I did have friends locally but so many people have got married and moved on.This happens when you are in your 30's!
So apart from my ex- partner, I know very few people where I live. This means that I will be going through the birth on my own and really bringing up the baby on my own.
I did think of moving but to where? I left home at 17 and my parents have both remarried and have their own lives now so there really isn't a home as such,to go back too.
This is not a sob story just the way I find my life at the moment and I wondered if anyone else has found their life different from what they expected and is now facing the birth and bringing up their baby on their own?
Thanks, MollyBee
Is anyone else going through pregnancy on their own?
I am doing this on my own and I am sure this is what I want to do with the rest of my life but I haven't had contact with any other women who are going through pregnancy alone. I am 38 and this is my first pregnancy. I was told a few years ago that I would not be able to have children (premature menopause)and this pregnancy has been a complete shock, but I am so happy and feel that this baby has chosen to be with me despite all the odds!
My partner left a few months ago (the shock news was just too much for him) and even though I wanted him to be involved and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, I am going forward with this pregnancy and feel a deep love for my baby so just want to do the best thing for her.
I have tried to have no negative feelings towards him or get upset about the situation, as it won't change the way he feels and I want my baby not not have to suffer from stress.
My medical team have been brilliant and I feel very supported by them. I have lots of very good friends around the country, no one lives near to me. I did have friends locally but so many people have got married and moved on.This happens when you are in your 30's!
So apart from my ex- partner, I know very few people where I live. This means that I will be going through the birth on my own and really bringing up the baby on my own.
I did think of moving but to where? I left home at 17 and my parents have both remarried and have their own lives now so there really isn't a home as such,to go back too.
This is not a sob story just the way I find my life at the moment and I wondered if anyone else has found their life different from what they expected and is now facing the birth and bringing up their baby on their own?
Thanks, MollyBee
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Replies
my family live abroad so pretty much on my own, i go to a brest feeding drop in every week (even though i stoped bf youngest at 11m, he now 14m) as i made some friends and its nice to chat and catch up. it may be worth checking out wat groups r in ur area hun.
im not daunted by bringing up lo on my own as oh was pretty useless so done everything myself anyhow,lol
also i get to make all the decissions and reap all the rewards
when r u due hun? hope ur feeling well and enjoying pregnancy before the sleep deprevation starts,lol. xx
I have tried to go to one expectant Mums group a few weeks ago but by the time every one had introduced themselves in the group, it became clear that out of a group of 35 I was the only one doing this on my own, so I felt worse not better. The odd one out!
I tend to not feel upset about doing this on my own until I go to midwife appts or at ante-natal appts and then I feel so different from all the other happy couples around me.
I must stress I am happy and have a really positive outlook on life but just feel so intimidated by the fact I'm doing this on my own.
I'm about to start NCT classes in Jan '08 and I am the only one doing it on my own, in my group. Yet again the poor single Mum person.Though I am sure all the people in my group will be lovely. I just want to meet women like me.
Is there any groups for expectant Mums doing it on their own? In Bristol area?
I think the constant question " Are you doing this on your own?" really freaks me out and I think "Yes I am, is that a bad thing?"
I am a very competent person, I earn my own money, have a good job and my partner, even though a nice person, was not very reliable or capable. An overgrown teenager in fact!
So my baby will OK with me and I will do everything possible to make sure she has a happy, secure and wonderful life.
Glad to hear I am not the only person doing this on my own. I knew I couldn't be, I just haven't met anyone else in my position.
Though lots of my friends are now single Mums but didn't start out that way.
So at least I know up front and have time to plan!
Also your life is not over this is just the current chapter- who knows you may and probably will meet someone else in the next few years- i did. Let your ex do what he chooses with regards to seeing the baby- at the end of the day you can give lo enough love for two. It will be ur exs loss if the child grows up not knowing him/her.
I wouldn't stop from going to parenting groups etc just because ur the only single one there- u still have enough in common with the others there without having a partner. Be posative and don't think that coz ur a single mum you have neon lights above your head telling everyone that u are- be proud of it
Take care of yourself- you seem to think that being single and a mum is some sort of failure but its not- you are the bigger person that has chosen to face up to the responsibility of your baby. Cherish the baby- it is a gift