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SO SCARED!!!!!!

hello im a first time mum due in june and i ahve a few questons(i love this site its fab for info) when i found out i was expectng it was a hudge shock but me and my partner were very excited i was really scared about the birth i used to sit up at 3am thinking about it then i became relaxed and it didnt bother me so much then on friday i took my OH out for a nice meal he told me that he was scared about th ebirth when i sasid why he said coz i love you so much and your pain level is 0 and cry at anything and when your in labour nd lots of pain im not going to be able to do much to help you i throught that was very sweet so i said no but it will end and as long as youre there to expericence it with me we'll be ok then as we gto home i shut my finger in his car door i cried for 3hrs and he said thats what i mean if you cry this much at that what are you going to be lik egiving birht now i am really worried, my midwife hasnt mentioned the birth yet i dont know if that is normal when do they start talking about it and when do you start writing a birthing plan? im gonig to parentcraft classes in may so im hping that they will help me if anyone ahs any advice then please let me know im a big baby really :\?
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Replies

  • hello.
    try not to worry about it. (easyer said than done)
    i think the parentcraft will help.
    dependin of what ur mw is like she will either say not to worry or give u advice if u ask.
    there is lots of ways to read up about info on pain relief , on here or in the baby mags.
    ur not due till june so just try to relax again and enjoy bein pregnant for the mo.
    on the other hand its never to early to prepare urself as much as u can.
    with the birth plan somepeople say its useful.
    so u, partner, hospital staff have a idea of what labour ur hopin 4. but be prepared as it might change.
    im a first time mum, due yesterday, still so scared about the labour, i know it will hurt, somepeople say u 4get it once u hold ur baby in ur arms.

  • it is true , my first labour was the worst but i think it was more so because i panicked but i've gone on to have 2 more children and i'm 32 weeks with 4th and i can garuntee that although you'll remember it hurt you will not remember how much you develop amnesia almost as soon as the delivery is over and for during labour gas and air is a wonderful thing i went to sleep in between contractions all three times.
  • hi,its normal to feel the way you do, but do try and relax now youll not get much chance to come june, you will hear all sorts of experiences, and nobody ever tells you about the good experiences just the horror stories :roll: yes its sore but if it was that bad i wouldnt have done it twice, and i cry for a week over a paper cut. keep an open mind about pain relief, and it is true you do forget once that little bundle is in your arms i makes you realise it was all worth it :\) . take care and relax.
  • thank you for all your input has has been helpfull im scard because i have a useless midwife she really is crap i didnt see her untill i was 14 weeks i paid for my 1st scan so that i coul dfind out when the baby was due as i had no idea ans i was told that i wouldnt be able to find out for another 3 weeks by this time id nearly be due for my 20 week. she hasnt given me any advice nor talked to me about he birth at all she kept forgetting tro send the referal for my 20week scan so i phoned the hosptial and did it myself she is old and talks about retiring which doesnt help me as my mom is no longer with us and my step mom who is an angel lives a bit away and the mother in law is test from the devil i think!!!
  • I HAVE TO SAY I AM ALSO SUCH A WIMP AND IM ON MY SECOND, I DID IT NATURAL WITH MY DAUGHTER AND DIDNT EVEN HAVE GAS AND AIR!! WHICH I FULLY INTEND TO HAVE THIS TIME AROUND!!! I WOULD TRY NOT TO WORRY,ONCE ITS HAPPENING YOU JUST DEAL WITH IT THEN ITS OVER! ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END AND YOULL BE SUPRISED AT JUST HOW BRAVE YOU CAN BE!! LOL YOU WILL BE PROUD OF YOURSELF,AND ITS NOT THAT BAD XXX
  • I agree. The pain is nothing like trapping your finger in the door. It builds up gradually and you can decide on how to deal with the next contraction based on how painful the last one was.
    My 2nd birth was so much more easy than the first cos i knew the pain couldnt go on forever. If you fight the contractions and panic it wont help. Just try to let them wash over you and it'll be over in no time.
    oh and also, i used a tens machine and put OH in charge of the boost button which he was very good at- midwife told him he did very well!
    Im looking forward to this birth cos i can remember the feeling after my last birth- i just knew its what my body was made for.
    Dont be scared x
  • Everything will be fine, i am the biggest wimp going. My mum likes to tell everyone about how i cry when i have my nails cut (its true!) but i managed to go through all opf labour with gas and air, you just have to think about the wonderful little human being that is there in the end!
    You honestly do forget and even though my first birth was a nightmare i still wouldn't think twice about having another one tommorow!
    Take care x
  • MOTHERIN LAW A test from the devil NOW,NOW TONI:lol:
  • I was nervous as my pain threshold is close to 0, but it isn't as bad as you would think. Pain relief is at hand aswell.
    it's a magical experience and once that bundle of joy is in your arms, it's all over and you will forget all about it. I found the time flashed by during labour aswell.
  • It hurt like hell, I wish people would just be honest!!!but its a strange pain with a purpose!!??!! If you feel you can't cope it is no shame to have the drugs! with my first baby I thought I was going to die in the end I had gas and air pethadine, another pethadine injection and finally an epidural!!! and then it was amazing. My second birth I only needed gas and air and that was amazing, My third and I only had gas and air and it hurt like hell (he had a big head!) so you see all births are different and all people are different, my sister popped them out like peas!(no lie!!) And we are trying for baby number four, so like everyone is saying once you have your baby in your arms it is all so very worth it.
    Good luck I'll keep my fingers crossed that you are like my sister!! best wishes xxx
  • Drink raspberry leaf tea every day, four times a day, from 34 weeks. It speeds things up, so you get to 5cm dilated quicker, then you can have an epidural!! Then you can't feel a thing. Excellent!

    Of course, having said that, you might find it's not that bad, and you can do it all on your own. Good luck image
  • It hurt like hell, I wish people would just be honest!!!but its a strange pain with a purpose!!??!! If you feel you can't cope it is no shame to have the drugs! with my first baby I thought I was going to die in the end I had gas and air pethadine, another pethadine injection and finally an epidural!!! and then it was amazing. My second birth I only needed gas and air and that was amazing, My third and I only had gas and air and it hurt like hell (he had a big head!) so you see all births are different and all people are different, my sister popped them out like peas!(no lie!!) And we are trying for baby number four, so like everyone is saying once you have your baby in your arms it is all so very worth it.
    Good luck I'll keep my fingers crossed that you are like my sister!! best wishes xxx

    It wasn't that bad! I've been in more pain for other things!
    But yeah, it does hurt!

  • It was that bad for me. and thats the point, everyone is different, my sister only felt a low back pain and crampy periody pains and very quick deliveries!! Hopefully it will be as quick for toni00!
  • But jakki0356 is right it goes by in a flash and it is a magical time just after when you are holding your very own baby as he/she looks up at you for the very first time. All the very best toni00
  • hi hello mumma, we all know what it feels like, and for those who dont they soon will, is there really any need to scare someone who is looking for some reassurance?? i have 2 m8s that had theres in under an hour! their first ones too! amazing, i ws 7 hours with first and i hope im alot quicker this time,although i know that was good anyway, at the end of the day, its best to relax and not worry too much about the pain until it comes, either way you will have to do it and the worry doesnt change a thing, thats how im trying to see it anyway! xx
  • just go for the epidural, its great will stop the pain within 10 mins , pethadine is good to, love the stuff made me real happy, its a great experience i cant wait to have another xxx
  • I'm sorry, I honestly did.nt intend to scare anyone, I just wanted to to make the point that every one is different, and you will hear horror stories, but they mean nothing to other peoples experiances no one can tell anyone how their labour is going to be, but surely to go into it with an open mind and prepared for anything has got to be good.
    But once again i am sorry, I'm just the biggest wussy in the world seriously i have a minus 100 pain threashold.
  • hey hello-mumma, just wanted to point this out as i had a bad experience with this sort of advice lol i was just getting used to the idea when opregnant with my daughter at 17 and i decided to go to antinatal classes and what they said to me scared the life out of me, i got up and left(with my mum shouting at her!) as it scared the life out of me!!! it is a very anxious time for everyone i think, i just dont see the point in unessasary worry!! hope i didnt offend you xxx
  • You both seem lovely & geniune, i dont think any1 meant any harm!!!
  • I'm so sorry carlielaine 1,and everyone i.ve scared, I will think more carefully about others feelings in future before i write. xxx
    all the very best to everyone


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