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Am I being childish????

Hi to all,
I've just registered and gone straight to the forum. I was going to give the Samaritans a ring but decided that might be too much.
I've just walked out of my house and left my partner with my 21 month old son. I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and I'm at the end of my tether!
I've just driven to work to get away telling my partner that I'm out for the night after having a row (over how he never disciplines our little boy). He's furious with me saying I'm just being childish but for me it's just the tip of a very big iceberg. What's made it worse is as I was leaving he said I'd better be back before he leaves for work tomorrow! Like that's all he's worried about.... his bloody business!!!
I've not had the best of pregnancies and have had times when i feel I can't cope with one let alone two. My partner doesn't know how to support me emotionally but it's not that he doesn't want to. he just doesn't do anything to help me.
I've thought a lot about leaving him and that I might be better off on my own. I wander if I'll deal with life differently if I was actually on my own rather than always feeling like I'm on my own in this relationship.
I've tried talking to nearest and dearest but everyone says I should try and get through the birth and then see how I feel. I don't know if can wait that long..... I don't remember ever feeling this low.
Should I seek professional help?????


  • I don't think you're being childish, it's a very emotional and difficult time for both of you. Maybe it would help if you could stay with a friend or family member for a couple of days?

    I went through a really rough time with my oh a couple of years ago, long before I was pregnant or thinking of children, but I was suffering very badly from depression at the time and my OH didn't know how to deal with me. I sank so low and was wondering if it might not be easier to leave him and go it alone, but I could never quite bring myself to go through with it, and now i'm glad I didn't. You have to look really deep inside and ask yourself what you really want.

    It might be a good idea to speak to your doctor or midwife. There is such a thing as ante-natal depression. It also might be a good idea if your husband came with you as the m/w or doctor will be able to give him some guidance on how to help you. Wait for him to calm down and try talking to him calmly. Men get frstrated because their natural reaction to a woman's problem is to try and fix it for them, which isn't always what you want. My OH now realises that sometimes, there isn't anything wrong that can be fixed, and all I need is for him to hug me and not try to even find out what is wrong.

    Thnere is always someone on here who is willing to listen and chat to you. Also, you can email me off this site iof you need to. Don't give up, just wait till you are both calmer beore you decide anything. I know it sounds like a cliche, but things often genuinley do seem different after a good nights sleep. Good luck hunny x x x
  • Do you know, your right.
    I feel better just being away from the house for the last couple of hours. I don't feel like I could stay over at friend or family as I'm not sure I want them to know. I think I'll just sit here and buy some more stuff!
    Thanks for the advice. Iam going to talk to my midwife on Tuesday.
    I'm so glad I came on this website..... xxx
  • Aah, retail therapy! Always good, espcially if you can spend his money!

    It does help just to be out of the way for a little while, to give yourself a chance to clear your head. Good luck with the midwife, I was supposed to see mine on Tuesday, but now I have to wait a week because she can't make it or something! I wouldn't mind, but by the time I do see her, it will have been 8 weeks since my last appointment and I want to speak to her about my stress levels as I'm worried I don't feel the baby move as much when I'm at work and stressed, which can't be good!
  • Is your baby active normally? How far gone are you? 8 weeks seems along time to not see your midwife even in the early days. If you're really worried about the movement give her a call, I know it would be more reassuring for you to get checked out but you could let her know in the meantime.
  • In the evenings and at weekends, he hardly stops moving. I'm 28 / 29 weeks now, and I just cannot wait to leave work, I hate it so much! My baby is due on 21st June and I won't be leaving till 8th June. I'd like to leave sooner, but we need the money, especailly as I'm not planning to go back. I have to be careful though because I don't want to be signed off work. If i'm off after 27th April with anything pregnancy related, then work will make me start my leave from then.

    It's only been so long since my last appointment because my m/w went and told me she wanted to see me in wk 22 instead of wk 24, and because everything was fine at the time, we agreed to leave it till wk 28 for the next appt. She's only at the surgery for 1 day a week, so there were no appointments last week, and now i've been put off till 10th. Never mind, I'm off that week and it's my birthday on 11th! I can't wait to be away from work for so long! With Easter, it'll be 12 days in total! Woo-hoo!
  • Do you think I should go home? I'm feeling a bit angry that the OH hasn't even tried to get in touch, especially in my condition! I could stay in this office all night but it would be rather uncomfortable.....
  • Try not to get yourself wound up again before you do go back. He is probably thinking the same about you not calling him, you're both going to still be angry. Maybe you should call him to try and guage his mood before you decide?
  • Good thinking. Thanks for you're advice and support. Ihope I can do the same for you one day. I'll let you know what happens. Wish me luck xxx
  • Good luck sweetie, stay in touch x x x
  • Hi Becks,
    Have you considered that you could be suffering from a mild form of antinatal depression? I would make an appointment to see your GP cause if you are this could progress and turn into Post Natal Depression after the Birth.

    I wouldn't leave your partner just yet. try getting someone to babysit and maybe go out for a meal or just spend sometime on your own where both of you can talk openly about your feelings with each other. You may find that he's feeling the same way you are!

    Good Luck. xxx
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