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Miserable sorry bit long

Morning everyone. The other day on my way home from work, id got my daughter with me as usual in her pram and nothing i did would comfort her. She was screaming the bus down. This was something she does on a regular basis. My dd has quickly learned that crying gets her- everything! Id spoken to my hv about it she said i needed to let her cry sometimes aslong as she wasnt crying for a good reason, hungry etc. I think my girl was crying coz she wanted to get out of the pram but it was packed and id got no room to move, so in the pram she stayed. After a while i over heard this lady calling me a child abuser saying she would report me. It led to an embarrasing arguement and left me feeling rotten inside. Its been on my mind since. Ive always tried to be a good parent im not perfect but i try. Was i wrong to let her cry? I had offered her food and drink rubbed calgel on her gums stroked her hair and her hands.. Had i of b3n in a cas she would have to be srapped in crying or not so what did i do that deserved to be called a child abuser? I can only think is that i chose to ignore her crying which was the advice i was given by hv.


  • take no notice of the woman on the bus comments hun, some people are too bloody quick to judge, my lo is 14m so much preferes being out of the pram and when he cant he has had a few screaming tantrums, i ignore completely, loads of people have looked at me dissaprovingly (i think they assume he must be in pain or summat)
    dont let it get to u hun, if we gave in to our kids everytime they screamed im sure people would be complaining about their"spoilt"behaviour out and about,lol we cant win!
  • oh honey you have to ignore people like that they obviously don't have kids or have forgotten what their like at that age! i have a 2yr old and she will not, and often tells she so, sit in her pushchair and u should seee the tantrums i get i'm talking full blown amaeture dramatics layin down on the floor kicking legs screaming i ignore her and she eventually gets up as long as your providing ur bub with everything she needs then there's nothing wrong with letting her cry as long as ur okay about doing it!

    people can say hurtful things, i had an old biddy walk past me the other day whilst my lo was having a minor paddy and loudly said to her friend some people don't deserve to have kids if they can't manage them! i told her i can manage her jus fine i'm managing to stand her watching my daughter get very upset because she can't communicate wat she wants to say and i' doing this without loosing my temper and hitting her or yelling as so many people do who can't MANAGE their kids!
    ur not alone and the fact that u were concerned for ur baby proves u r not a child abuser!
  • dont let it worry you. i think people forget what it is like to bring up kids and how hard it is. you cant give them everything all the time. im sure your a good mum, you offered her everything you could in such cramped conditions. some people really **** me off, they are so nosy when they should know better.
  • the other day in asda there was a women with her little baby and it was screaming away while she was getting her shopping through the checkout. i'm guessing the baby was hungry but what was she supposed to do, stop packing her shopping to feed the baby?? and the customers around her all stood there complaining, saying why is she letting baby cry, shouldn't be a mother!!! arghh it made me so mad as she was alone and no one offered to help her, i just hope she didn't hear any of the comments made as she did nothing wrong!!
    anyway just thought i'd share that image
    your not a bad mum and weren't doing anything wrong. you couldn't have got her out the buggy on a cramp bus anyway so don't feel bad hun. i'm glad you stood up for yourself though!!
  • Don't let it get to you - people are far too quick to judge nowadays and forget the things they went thru themselves fair too easily (or conveniently when it suits them!). Being a parent is not easy, babies do not come with instructions and every baby is different!! It can also be a no win situation when out with ur children, coz not matter wot they or you do or say, there'll always b someone ready to comment or pass judgement on you.
  • Thanx for your comments girls i feel much better. I really love my baby and dont like seeing her upset. It doesnt help when some stranger who doesnt know the circumstances makes u feel crap. I hope if it happens again i can turn the other cheek and ignore them. Thanks again.
  • Some people should just mind their own business!!

    That lady obviously had little to do to say something ridiculous like that to you. Your concern over what was said shows that you are obviously a very caring mother just trying to do the right thing for your daughter. If we all started giving in to our wee ones everytime they cried what would they not grow up into. My daughters 2 & she loves to throw a wee tantrum when we're out but shes not long realising it doesnt get her anywhere. As for interferring old biddys maybe someone should have taught them some manners when they were younger & to respect parents trying to do the right thing for their children. You usually ind people like this have more problems closer to home than they were care to be reminded about

    Take care & dont let that silly woman get to you

    Hilary x
  • silly old bag. just ignore her or tell her to mind her own business! my 7 month old hates being in his pushchair especially if it isnt moving and will scream or cry when hes in it and has done so since day one. I lose track of the amount of times i hear "oh somebodys hungry/tired/poorly" I just want to shout "no somebodys grumpy coz hes in his pushchair and not having a cuddle and lets face it who wouldnt rather have a cuddle that be sat alone" butt out old biddys we know what were doing (well most of the time anyway)
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