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Train your lazy man!!! (do not show this to your oh)
Ok ladies I reckon that lots of women have the same probs with oh as I do and its about time that we took a stand!!!!!
My hubby has 3 main tasks in our house and I do everything else. All I ask him to do is the washing up (I cook), empty the kitchen bin and clean out cat litter. What drives me mad is that he leaves dishes to "soak" in sink - and they are still there 2 days later complete with stagnant water - just the smell makes me heave! When I tell him to finish the job properly he says that I should just be grateful that he does anything at all as he's a man and is not bred for housework - flippin cheek!!! Since I got preg he is no more help at all but spends a lot of time promising shelves and other things that never get done (latest idea is converting our cellar into a pub...never mind that the nursery needs doing grrr). If i nag he tells me to stop being a pain but i also get told that if i don't ask i don't get. V confused - bottom line is that he doesn't want to help me out or care that things like lugging hoovers up n down stairs and other such thinngs are bad idea when preg. Also have 4 yr old daughter so hard work tidying up after the 2 of them (he comes in the door and chucks his coat on the floor for f**ks sake - even our lil girl hangs her coat up).
I was talking to a male friend of mine who seems to be perfect (seriously he does all cooking cleaning and constantly buys lil pressies for is wife) and he told me how his wife "trained" him. Listen up ladies, we could all try this en mass and report results hee hee...
Instead of nagging him when he left clothes around or didn't put stuff away, his wife would wordlessly put it all in a black binbag when he wsn't looking and then hide it. He thought that he'd won n taught his woman that nagging is pointless...until he couldn't find his stuff. She refused to wash his clothes unless in wash basket etc and after a while he ran out of clean clothes, couldn't find shoes that he hadn't put on rack, books went missing etc. She stood firm and when he mentioned his missing stuff she presented him with the binbags she had filled and calmly told him that next time it all goes out for the binmen. now he puts his washing in the basket not on the floor, puts his clean washing away, cleans up after himself...genius!!! She did all this 6 yrs ago and to this day, if she finds anything of his lying around and not put away, out comes the binbags!!!! He is now perfectly happy in a house where she does most of the washing ironing etc but he appreciates the importance of looking after his own stuff to make her life slightly easier.
The key is apparently that this approach will not work with nagging - all actions must be undertaken without a word or the man won't get the all important sense of victory (hooray she stopped nagging me - she must have learned that it doesn't work) followed by the sudden realisation that we women do a hell of a lot more around the house than they even think (and of course the realisation that we will not do it thanklessly any more - if it isn't put away we will bin it!!!).
I vote for trying this approach - I have tried everything from shouting to going on strike (the house is disgusting and he doesn't care cos he can still find the stuff he threw on the floor a week ago) to offering sexual favours in return for housework (very sad I know and weirdly it didn't work!!!!).
Sorry this is a really long post hope i'm not too boring!!! I think this might just work y'know - picture tidy house while all the mans discarded dirty washing or random stuff previously found on floor is stored neatly in a cupboard in a binbag ready for that inevitable day that it dawns on him that things are going to change!!! The evidence would sggest that this really works - what does everyone think????
My hubby has 3 main tasks in our house and I do everything else. All I ask him to do is the washing up (I cook), empty the kitchen bin and clean out cat litter. What drives me mad is that he leaves dishes to "soak" in sink - and they are still there 2 days later complete with stagnant water - just the smell makes me heave! When I tell him to finish the job properly he says that I should just be grateful that he does anything at all as he's a man and is not bred for housework - flippin cheek!!! Since I got preg he is no more help at all but spends a lot of time promising shelves and other things that never get done (latest idea is converting our cellar into a pub...never mind that the nursery needs doing grrr). If i nag he tells me to stop being a pain but i also get told that if i don't ask i don't get. V confused - bottom line is that he doesn't want to help me out or care that things like lugging hoovers up n down stairs and other such thinngs are bad idea when preg. Also have 4 yr old daughter so hard work tidying up after the 2 of them (he comes in the door and chucks his coat on the floor for f**ks sake - even our lil girl hangs her coat up).
I was talking to a male friend of mine who seems to be perfect (seriously he does all cooking cleaning and constantly buys lil pressies for is wife) and he told me how his wife "trained" him. Listen up ladies, we could all try this en mass and report results hee hee...
Instead of nagging him when he left clothes around or didn't put stuff away, his wife would wordlessly put it all in a black binbag when he wsn't looking and then hide it. He thought that he'd won n taught his woman that nagging is pointless...until he couldn't find his stuff. She refused to wash his clothes unless in wash basket etc and after a while he ran out of clean clothes, couldn't find shoes that he hadn't put on rack, books went missing etc. She stood firm and when he mentioned his missing stuff she presented him with the binbags she had filled and calmly told him that next time it all goes out for the binmen. now he puts his washing in the basket not on the floor, puts his clean washing away, cleans up after himself...genius!!! She did all this 6 yrs ago and to this day, if she finds anything of his lying around and not put away, out comes the binbags!!!! He is now perfectly happy in a house where she does most of the washing ironing etc but he appreciates the importance of looking after his own stuff to make her life slightly easier.
The key is apparently that this approach will not work with nagging - all actions must be undertaken without a word or the man won't get the all important sense of victory (hooray she stopped nagging me - she must have learned that it doesn't work) followed by the sudden realisation that we women do a hell of a lot more around the house than they even think (and of course the realisation that we will not do it thanklessly any more - if it isn't put away we will bin it!!!).
I vote for trying this approach - I have tried everything from shouting to going on strike (the house is disgusting and he doesn't care cos he can still find the stuff he threw on the floor a week ago) to offering sexual favours in return for housework (very sad I know and weirdly it didn't work!!!!).
Sorry this is a really long post hope i'm not too boring!!! I think this might just work y'know - picture tidy house while all the mans discarded dirty washing or random stuff previously found on floor is stored neatly in a cupboard in a binbag ready for that inevitable day that it dawns on him that things are going to change!!! The evidence would sggest that this really works - what does everyone think????
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Replies
Lets hope this continues after the baby has been born as well.
My oh is like that, but tbh I'm not the tidiest person in the world so we work quite well together! I do the jobs he hates (cooking/cleaning...I actually love cooking) and he does the ones I hate (hoovering/taking bin out)!
What I don't understand is...why do men walk straight past the washing basket and then take their socks off & throw them on the floor??? x
Sara x