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hows the feeding going?

i have been backwards and forwards trying to decide what is best for ryan. he messes about and doesnt seem satisfied with bf as often which i think is due to growth spurt as he put 10oz on this week. i have given a couple of formula feeds over the last couple of days and he is a different baby. he seems so content and doesnt winge or anything! after a breast feed he is unsatisfied and i just feed him on and off the whole time he is awake. it seems formula is satisfying him and he and i are more relaxed. i dont no what to do though as i do like bf but shall carry on bottles. do i mix the feeds or wean him totally off.
i am going back to uni in a few weeks so i need to be ready and happy to leave him and if he is fussy with bf i dont think ill be as happy to leave him. he will be with mum so i no he willbe fine.oh is happy for me to do whatever but what do u think?
if my boobs r full and hurting im going to feel awful for bottle feeding him....... god damn thebreast is best thing..im so confused.

sorry for the ramble ive been feeling confused for a while and i just want to make a decision on what to do.............

holly xxx
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Replies

  • to make things worse, ryan threw up everywhere after i posted the above message. it was proper sick and he scared the lifeout of me. he just screamed and i picked him up and he just yakked everywhere. i need to get him used to a bottle, i just need to sort myself out and decide what im doing and stick with it!
  • You're not the only one holly, we bought a few cartons of ready made yesterday for the next time Philip decides to do his "i'm gonna feed constantly, so your boobies!" even if it's just one feed about 10pm i'm going to feel really bad doing it but as i'm sure you know when boobs are empty, they are empty and no amount of suckling is going to change that!

    Philip just seems to be hungry all the time, i fed him at midday, it's now 2.15 and he's trying to feed from his dad, not that he'll get anything from there!

    Don't feel guilty about using the bottle, breast might be best but when your totally knackered and lo is feeding constantly it's not good for either of you.

    I'm going to try and perservere till Philip is 6wks old but i'll see how we get on.

    Which formula milk have you used? I've bought aptamil (sp?) as that is what sil found best, but other sil used farleys and cow & gate with her 2 and my friend used sma, and they all say their choice is the best! It's so bloody confusing, also the whole make up bottles in advance or as needed... maybe i'll stick with breast for a bit longer!
  • i am using aptimel too and its supposed to be the closest to bresat milk. i put some boiled water inbottles on the side to cool and added the formula when they had cooled. i then put them in the fridge. i dont think it matters what u do as long as its sterile etc, everyone does things differently and just remember years ago there wasnt the choices or guidelines there are now and we are all fine! im gonna do a bit of both but ryan topped up with 2oz this morning and it really settled him after having both boobs.
    do u seem to be emptying ur boobs quicker aswell? think its all the growth spurt so hope it gets easier!

    xx
  • Hiya both!

    Well I am still doing both...and it is so frustrating! One day she loves the boob and seems satisfied and I only do 2 bottles of which she will only take a couple of oz...then other days she has 4 bottles & is almost a bottle fed baby...so of course a routine is out of the question as whenever she gets whingy I just whop a boob out and she calms down!

    So, I am reluctant to give up the bf as it comforts her and is an instant comforter...but then some days she can be on me for hours...and so I have made a decision that once she is sleeping through I will give start to give up bf during the day to enable me to get a routine sorted and then bf at night and first thing in the morning and then drop these probably when she is on solids.

    I just wish I could get the night bit sorted. She is such a good girl and is in her crib by 8.30pm having had a bottle and boob and settles herself to sleep and then only wakes once, which could be anywhere between 2 & 4am. I have tried a dream feed but she just wont take it and keeps her mouth firmly shut, have tried a boob, breast milk in a bottle and formula but she keeps her lips firmly shut!!! I managed once to get her to take it and she still woke up!

    I keep thinking that giving her formula through the day might just help her settle at night as she always seems more content!

    This is so frustrating! The one thing we mustn't do is beat ourselves up about using formula as we have to remember a happy mummy = happy baby, frustrated mummy = frustrated nightmare baby!!!

    C.xxx
  • Gracie seems to be doing the same. When awake she can feed 3-4 times over 3 hours or so...and good long feeds at that! She also is more satisfied with a bottle...almost drunk!
    She also uses me to suck herself to sleep then ends up yacking lots back.
    I'm gonna start giving her a bottle in the morning now aswell as teatime as she has 5 feeds from 7.30-11.30 ish and she can then have more if she doesn't sleep!
    When I swapped the boys I introduced a new bottle feed every 2 days or so so it took 1-2 week I think to be totally off the booba. It then took about 3-4 days for boobs to get back to normal (not lying, it hurts like when milk came in, full boobs like hot boulders!). The relief of not worrying about how to feed was immense...
    Since 1st guzzlebum I've been very open-minded about bf and said to myself I'd see how it goes. Not just whether boobs were sore or if I had enough milk but also how happy baby and myself were and how the demands of feeding fit in with everyday life. I know any amount of boob juice benefits baby so I'll be happy knowing all my babies had a great start...and I certainly won't feel guilty when I do stop.
    Go with what you feel you and lo will be most happy with.
    Here endeth the sermon of the day!
  • thanks ladies, u really helped me stop fretting. im not gonna try n plan a routine or owt but will give him an evening bottle to help him settle and just top him up when he needs it. think his tummy needs to get used to it.
    with this grpwth spurt, do ur lo's sleep more when they have 1? xx
  • I'm glad I'm not the only one having feeding problems!

    We'd always said we'd do what worked, so bought bottles, pump, steriliser and a few cartons of aptimil (after reading tons of posts on here I decided on aptimil). Cole had had a couple of formula feeds in hospital to help him get over his jaundice as he wasn't feeling very well.

    He's always been a bit of a bugger with feeding - having to fight to get him on the boob more often than not then I started taking him off if it hurt and htat didn't help. Last sunday he was just so wingy and fussy and would not settle and kept wanting to feed so we ended up giving him some of the carton of aptimil and he settled straight off.

    We've been giving him more bottles over the week either hubby in the evening or the odd day when he wouldn't settle and I've been trying to express too. I've come to the conclusion that I haven't been producing enough milk - I've only been managing to express 1-2 oz at a time when feeding him and he doesn;t settle so well and was a night mare at night.

    THe last 2 nights he's had around 3-4 oz of formula at about 11pm and has slept for 4 1/2 hours each night!

    I'm starting to get into some kind of 'sort out bottles' routine - I've found I like the cold water sterilising cause I can just add more bottles t hrough the day without too much effort and then add boiled water to bottles and leave them on the side till we want them. I dunno how long you are meant to keep the bottles full of boiled water but I've been leaving them overnight - no more than 24 hours. I have the tommy tippee bottles and the milk powder holders that fit into the bottle and just tried those out today - works pretty well (when you don't drop them and get milk powder all down your trousers!!)

    Ideally I'd like to maybe try and give him formula morning and night (night for the sleeping) and breast feed throughout the day but I don't want him going hungry - today is an experiment - he's having bottles all day but I'm seeing how much I can express (2 lots of 3oz so far) and I'm wondering whether he'd be better off with just expressed and formula - I think he finds it easier to suck on the bottle even if he's falling asleep whereas on the boob he falls asleep then wakes up when I try to put him down.

    I don't actually feel guilty for giving him formula - I don't feel bad at all because all I'm doing is making sure my son is fed!

    Sorry for the ramble there.. it kinda helps to get my thoughts organised..shame you lot get to read it!

    Glad you posted hollylizzy - at least I know I'm not on my own!
  • I'm glad you posted too Holly! I'm having the same worries and it is nice to know we are all in the same boat!! I've been trying to bf at least twice a day and although he will stay on for 40 mins or more he always wants a bottle around 30 mins afterwards which must mean he is hardly getting anything! I've tried expressing with a hand held pump and although I am getting some out I usually give up after about 15 mins as it is such hard going and am never left with enough to give him.
    We started off giving him SMA gold when we first went to formula which seemed to fill him up well. We brought it over with us from the UK on our last visit just incase we needed it as we didn't fancy having a screaming baby and trying to translate norwegian instructions!! It was only a box with 18 sachets in it though so it didn't last long and the only formula we can find out here is Nestle which seems very watery in comparison and doesn't fill him up as well.
    I feel frustrated as I wanted to be able to feed him myself and maybe just top up with formula if needed, but as it has turned out I am not producing enough milk to anywhere near satisfy him. I'm also concerned that with as little as he is feeding from me that my milk is probably not going to last very long, and the more he is bottle fed the more he seems to be struggling to latch on despite having the closer to nature bottles.

    I don't feel guilty for giving him formula anymore as he is so much happier now he has food in his tummy but it does get to me that I'm not able to feed him myself.

    Off to see the health visitor for the first time tomorrow and hoping she will be nice! Going to see if there is anywhere I haven't tried where I can get some better formula. If not my mum is coming out the beginning of Feb so think she will be bringing a case out with her!!

    Do you think Aptimil is the better one to get?

    L xxx
  • Violet has been having Aptimil stage 1 and seems fine on it - though I might just try a feed of the hungry baby one at night time to see if that will help her sleep through - I have just put her down and she hardly had any boob and only took 3 oz from the bottle, so may try another bottle later on! She was totally awake when I put her down and she has just started to make a few noises...so will dash off to settle her!

    It never stops does it!!!
  • Cant really comment on the bf because Alfie is bottle fed but i do think you have to do whats right for you.
    I felt guilty for bottle feeding straight away but bf just wasnt for me and i was lucky enough that the mw and hv have been really supportive of my decision. i thought that everyone would have a go at me so i was pleasantly surprised when they didnt.
    At the end of the day if lo isnt happy then neither are you. Just go with the flow!
  • cole has aptimil and seems fine on it - he's busy guzzling his second bottle of the evening now (hubby likes feeding him).

    hv told me not to feel bad or guilty for formula feeding as well - told her i didn't...i'd feel more guilty starving my boy!

    I've just been expressing today - gives my nipples a break - and cole has had expressed or formula all day - 3oz seems to be my limit on expressing - i've done 4 lots of 3oz with the last bf was about 5am - so no wonder my poor boy was getting hungry if thats all I was managing to give him!

    Liz - Cole also seems to be struggling to latch on sometimes - and we have the closer to nature bottles too - but I think some of that may be down to being a lazy boy.. I'm not sure - sometimes he's absolutely fine..but sometimes he's so stroppy at having to put effort into getting latched on properly...i'd laugh at his strops if it didn't hurt me when he's not sucking properly!

    Still..at least its not as bad as my poor hubby who was traumatised not only when Cole went for his nipples (that'll teach him to sleep naked!) but also traumatised when Cole was hungry and latched onto his nose!! I laughed so much Cole couldn't latch onto me cause i kept moving!
  • lol
    Id love to have seen your hubbys face Kia!
    Bet that was hilarious!!!
    Even though Alfies bottle fed, when he was 1st born he tried to go for his 10 yr old sisters little boobs! Luckily she didnt cotton on to what he was attempting to do-i dont think she would of held him ever again!
  • I ended up giving Philip a bottle at 12.30 last night as he just wouldn't settle and had had 3 feeds since 9pm, plus i think i have mastitis so was feeling rubbish myself, he took 2ozs and promptly fell asleep, woke up at 5.30 but settled himself straight back down then woke properly at 6.29am, alarm was set for 6.30am!

    Have decided that the last feed at night is going to be a bottle, if it helps him sleep and lets me sleep then it's best for all of us.

    I need to start getting him to sleep earlier, at the moment i'm taking him up about 10.30 but he won't settle till about midnight, think tonight i'll try the 9pm feed upstairs then start bringing it forward a bit.

    So glad i bought a bottle of Milton, easier than trying to suss the steriliser out!
  • It must be something in the air - these December babies all sound to be greedy little buggers! Gracie's just had a bottle as she's had 4 boobs worth between 6.50 and 8.10! She did only wake once at 2.45am for a feed tho so she was playing catch-up! I'm hoping it means I'll not be sat here feeding another 3 times til 12!
    Gonna see how the 2 bottle, rest boob juice goes this week. It's all good fun, ain't it?!
    Well done Philip for going 6 hours! Gracie's pb is 51/2 hr!
  • well ryan woke at 4 and breast fed for an hour then slept til about 9 and had a dream feed. which is fine cos i got an extra hours kip! then he woke at 10 hungry and i decided to give him a bottle rather than let him feed from me and be unsatisfied as he is evry morning. he is now asleep again and fed really lovely. i think its important to both be relaxed when feeding at the bottles really are more satisfying.
    i can see me gradually letting bf go out the window but when he cries cos hes ready for a feed i think its easier at night to whop out a boob. im gonna do a bottle tonight too to see if he sleeps better.
    whats this your trying ali??

    xx
  • Suzlong- i didn't see his face, but the panic in his voice when he yelled for me to hurry up and come feed lo was funny enough! I am evil image

    Well done Philip for 6 hours! We had 5 hours last night which is best yet but I didn't manage 5 hours cause I woke up when he grizzled a little. Last feed of the night is definately bottle!!!

    I'm glad I bought a bottle of milton too - its so much less effort than figuring out how to work sterilising in the microwave! Milton wipes are handy too - keep a pack in the changing bag for when we are out and about and a pack by the changing mat for wiping up mess!

    Definately well worth resting the boobs yesterday and just expressing... it didn't hurt after feeding him this morning! If I hadn't just spent money on nursing bras and breastfeeding tops I'd be tempted to just express and give him bottles of expressed milk and formula!!
  • Hi girls, can i gatecrash your chat.

    Kenny is 7 weeks old and has never been great at sleeping over night but the past week has been awful. He just wouldnt settle and always wanted fed and friday night was the worst and he didnt sleep at all until 4pm on saturday. He just cried and looked very unhappy and I was feeling the same.

    I bought some SMA Gold cartons basically as an experiment to see if this would make a difference and the last 2 nights have been so much better. My OH looked after him on Sat night so i could get some sleep and last night I gave him a bottle at 11pm, asleep by 11.30 and didnt wake until 3am this morning then at 6. He was 7 weeks premature and was still only 5lb 12oz when last weighed and he will easily guzzle down 4oz, another greedy wee bugger.

    Im only trying the 1 bottle just now at 11ish and will BF the rest of the time but im not going to beat myself up over using formula sometimes. My only concern is that he didnt have a dirty nappy yesterday or this morning and he usually has quite a few during the day. My HV says that the formula can make babies constipated and not to worry unless he goes 3 days without a poo.

    Iv read that having a period can affect your breast milk supply and I started my first period on Wednesday so this might explain why he is more starving than normal over night but im going to carry on using the bottle at this time as it gives him such a good sleep.

    My OH went to give him a kiss this morning and he was lying awake in his moses basket smiling away to himself. A happy baby is a happy mummy and vice versa!
  • hi denise its nice when they r so content like that, i feel so much at ease and relaxed after ryan has a bottle, or a damn good bf which is a bit of a battle now, but i love play times with my boy!
    although ur lo was prem might he still be going through a growth spurt, hv said around 4 weeks this is normal so im justifying the erratic feeding with ryan growing big and strong! u might find he has piled on the oz when he is next weighed!
    hope all goes well and well done for still bf! im getting closer and closer to stopping! xxx
  • Holly, been giving Gracie a bottle at 6pm ish since Thurs so not feeding her all the time til 10 pm ish when we go to bed, that cut 2 feeds out! Wouldn't work giving her last feed as bottle as she doesn't take much of bottle if feasted on my boobs for a while!
    Today, gave her bottle at 10am, she slept til 11.40, did a poo requiring a full change of clothes - yummy! - and I'm bf her now. Bitty!
    Hoping she needs less boob now just to get stuff done! I've always felt a helluva lot more pressure bf as won't feed out so have to rush me and family out before she wants feeding again!
    Will see how it goes...
  • i think in a week or so we will all be ok, well i hope so. i dont see the harm in these bottles as ryan is much more satisifed and i am expressing to keep my supply going in case he does decide to calm down a bit after this growth spurt.
    it s nice to be able to get on when i no he is full too.
    i hate that breast is best thing, it bloody aint, my baby needs more! and he IS happier after a bottle!
    as long as he is happy im not bothered anymore! and i dont like feeding out too!
    xx
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