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Labour Induced Miscarriage

I finally feel ready to talk about my miscarriage.... I was 19 weeks pregnant and only went to the doctor as I was experiencing some headaches... The doctor couldn't hear a heart beat with the doppler so she said I ought to go downto the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital... Off I went thinking - I only wanted some stronger pain killers... little did I know - what that day would bring...

Two more midwives couldn't find the heart beat - so off I went still thinking positively ,for a scan... one of the midwives came with me - - looking back I should have realised that something was wrong... Then I heard the words that will stick with me forever... "I'm am so sorry but I there is no heart beat from your baby" - the world all went a bit blank after that... I had a second opinion - - not that it changed the out come...

I was taken to a room off of the labour ward... by two midwives - - it was suggested that I make some phone calls and they would be back when I called through to receeption.. I called my husband and my parents and that is when the tears started... My husband left work immediately and rushed to the hospital... my parents said they would meet us at home... I have never in my life cried tears with such emmotion and shock attached to them... it was the most awful time telling my husband that we had lost our baby...

The midwives came back and talked me through what would then happen.... they were so wonderful.... and I just couldn't control my tears... I had to take a couple of pills which would slow down my hormones and come back to the hospital 36 hours later to go through labour... My husband arrived - we had yet one more scan - of course the news was the same but it did help my husband to hear it from the consultant... we had more wonderful talks with the midwives and then took the pills - and went home... in complete and utter shock and disbelief..

My parents arrived just as we were pulling in - - and I have to say that was amazing - - otherwise we both would have just sat in the car - not wanting to continue with the next few days... . They had clearly said to themselves that they would be brave in front of us - - as they both had read teary eyes - -but the were so positive and brave when they were with us - - I don't know what we would have done without them... they live abroad normally but were still in the country from Christmas - - if they hadn't been here - - I think I probably would be still crying today... its amazing how no matter how old you are, how driven you are, or how married you are - sometimes you just need your parents - and this was one of those times...

Friday morning came .... we went off to hospital... and the process began... My husband and my mother were with me - - we were back in the same room - - it had a sofa and a double bed and an ensuite bathroom - the first pills were put up inside me and then it was a matter of waiting - - and waiting - - we talked, cried, made cups of tea... not for me - - I was just beyond anything - but very calm... then a second set of pills were taken - - - and then 6 hours after we arrived the contractions started.... The only good thing was once the contractions had finally started, the actual labour was over as quickly as possible.. We have named our little boy Charlie and biased as we are we have to say that he was as perfect as we could ever have imagined... and he will always have a very very place in our hearts..

The midwives and the rest of the hospital staff were utterly amazing and just goes to show what special people are out there...

Charlie had a little blessing in our room before we left the hospital on Friday night by the most gorgeous French Chaplin - she was able to put into words what my husband and I were and still are thinking and makes us feel happier that he is not on his own.. He has gone off to have an autopsy which will hopefully come back completely clear as we are hoping and praying that the awful reason for him dying was because there was what they call a "True Knot" in his umbilical cord - meaning that the cord had become tangled and a tight knot had become lodged so everything he needed was cut off from him.... sad but hopefully just a complete freak and terribly tragic accident.

It has now been 10 days since I first went to the doctor - - and I can say that the grief is still in full flow - - but we are making progress.... I am still bleeding heavily and have had to visit the hospital twice since the labour - - as I have managed to get an infection in my womb... I am now on 2 lots of antibiotics and 3 lots of painkillers... as my stomach feels like I have done 200 sit ups...

If there is a positive to come from this horrid time - - it's how amazing friends and family can be... we have had letters and flowers all week long - - and it has brought my husband and I much much closer - - at the moment I am still not keen to let him out of my sight..!! poor man..!! His work gave him a week off to look after me - - and I am not going back to work until the begining of Feb... time to get fit and healthy and to think about the future...

We have bought a beautiful clemantis plant and a lovely pot to bury Charlies ashes in when we finally get him back - - he will always be a part of our lives and I love the thought of being able to go our into the garden and have a little chat with him.... he will always be out first child...

I am so sorry that this is such a long posting - - but once I started writing its help me hugely to write it all down... In a way I hope it helps others who might have been through the same tragic experience... There is light at the end of the awful tunnel - - as we will be trying again - - and I will be a mummy one day... a week ago I couldn't even begin to say that - - time is a great healer...



  • I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for your loss. Look after each other and take care. Lots of Love xxxx
  • Oh my God, I am so, so sorry. I had seen a few of your posts on the pregnancy board, then I saw this from the main page that u had wrote it, and I just felt like crying reading your story. I haven't had a similar experience but if it happened to me I too would have been truly devastated. I hope the autopsy comes back clear and that little Charlie is looking over you and your oh. Good luck for the future x x x
  • i dont know what to say...i dont think ive ever been touched by a story as much as yours. You truely are an amazing person. I dont think id be able to live if that happened to me. Im so glad you have the support you need and deserve at this truely devastating time.

    I wish you all the very best for the future and im sure one day you and your husband will make amazing parents.

    Best of luck and I hope you are well soon xxxxx

    [Modified by: Sammy&Jayden on January 13, 2008 05:50 PM]
  • I just wanted to say sorry for your loss. You seem to be very strong. Take comfort in your friends and family. I suffered an MMC, and was devasted, I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.
    Remember, time really is a great healer. He will always be your first baby. Take care, Lots of hugs Chocolage Cake xx
  • I am so so sorry for your loss I cant imagine what you must be feeling.
    You will be a Mummy 1 day, my friend went through the same thing a few years ago & now has 2 children.
    Take Care
    Helen x x
  • I just wanted to sayI am so sorry for your loss, I think you are so brave and you will be a mummy and a wonderful one at that.
    I had a mmc in 2006 and we planted a tree to remember our baby and I found it really helped.
    You are so positive I think it's great.
    Take care lots of hugs! xx
  • i jus wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss. i dont even know what made me open this post. i just want to say what a wonderful person you sound. your strength will get you through and although i really cant imagine what you have been through my thoughts are with you. you are right time is a great healer and although nothing can replace him maybe you will feel ready to try again soon. wishing you all the happiness and luck in the
  • Just wanted to say what an amazing person u sound, ur right u will be a mummy one day hunny, and im sure charlie will be watching over u all keeping you safe xxxxxxx
  • Thank you for sharing your sad loss with us, you are really brave for doing so. I am so glad that you will have Charlie close to you as I am sure you will get comfort from him being there. I know everything feels so awful at the moment but it will get better. After 2 normal pregnancies and 2 lovely boys I was totally devestated to have 2 miscarriages in 2006 one straight after the other and I understand how you must have felt in the scan room as I, like you went on my own with the 2nd miscarriage expecting everything to be ok and there was no heartbeat. But there is always hope and after getting pregnant again straight away I had a beautiful baby daughter in March last year. I don't know why these awful things happen but I really hope that like for me, everything works out for you. Take care and take as much time off work as you need. lol x
  • Hi hun
    I just want to say how sorry I am to hear your tragic story, I was sobbing reading it. You are a very strong person and I know you will get your dream one day when you are both ready to try again. Take all the time you need and sounds like you have a wonderful partner and family to support you through it.

    Take care
    Em x
  • Your story of losing a very much wanted baby has genuinely brought tears to my eyes, as something similar has happened recently with a MMC in Oct of our twins and last week another MC. It feels so raw and so unfair.

    I'm so sorry you have had this loss but I just want to say that I really admire the strength that you have shown though your post. You sound like a very brave and wise lady, who I'm certain will go on to have a healthy PG and baby.

    It's very hard to stay strong at a time like this (I know as I am struggling) but I think a positive mind counts for a lot and I'm sure you'll get there. You are going to be a wonderful mother as I'm sure your hubby will be just as good a daddy.

    All the best for you and your family. You're in my thoughts,
    Em xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Just a quick word of encouragement for you Em your loss of twins must have been really difficult then another loss last week. I'm so sorry for you. My friend due on the same day as me lost twins on the same day I also had a miscarriage. It took her a few months to get pregnant again but she got pregnant with twins again and they are healthy 6 month boys now. Thinking of you x
  • What a coincidence for you and your friend on the same day. I'm so sorry for both of you.

    Thank you for the encouragement and words of support. How amazing that she had twins again. Goodness!

    I hope that you are all well, Em xxxxxxx
  • I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else i could possibly say except that! i am truly touched and heartbroken by your story and just wish you all the luck in the world. Please pass on our support to your oh who must also be devastated but sounds like a rock! good luck for the future sweety
    love lis x x x
  • Thanks Em yes everything worked out for both of us with my friend having her twins (and it was amazing as there are no twins in her family) and me having my 1st daughter which I was desperate for after 2 lovely boys. Despite going through 2 sad miscarriages I have my perfect family now and I so hope everything works out for you too xx
  • JuneBean

    I'm so so sorry to her of your loss. I must admit reading your message did make me have a little cry. Something I have not really done since I was told I had lost my baby - so you have helped me image

    I went through similar starting on 27th December. I got home from work and noticed some spotting. I called the doctor and my midwife. My doctor made me go straight down to see him and he did an internal - saying it was looking very positive as my cervix were tightly closed and therefore, it could just be a bit of 'old period blood'. However, he would try and get me a scan for the following day - but this could not be done until the Monday as the hospital had overbooked emergency scans. My widwife said if the bleeding got any worse to go to the night doctors, at our local hospital.

    After having the internal I lost some on 'new' blood so went to the hositpal, where I was told that this was actually a 'threatened misscarriage' so I must go home and have bed rest. The bleed stopped over Friday and Saturday so on Sunday I went and saw my Mum. Driving home I started experiencing a bit of pain in my back and period 'like' pains. Despite everone around me assuring me we'd be fine, I'd read up on miscarriages while 'bed resting' and I don't know why but my instincts told me, from that moment on, that my my scan on Monday was not going to be good. Until then, I had not had any pain so had been fairly positive - I got home and cried my eyes out.

    I went for a scan and I could not see the babys heartbeat. My fiance was in the room, I turned my head towards him and told him it wasn't there - the Midwife didn't need to open her mouth but said did that it was not looking good and that she wanted to do an internal, which had the same result. I must say she was the nicest midwife I had throughout this experience,

    We left the hospital waiting for the baby to come away itself as I had been spotting, with little bits of 'old' blood - which a Nurse believed was the start of it; however, my body had other ideas and kept clinging on to it. So I opted to have a Labour Induced Miscarriage.

    I was not as far into my pregnancy as you, and therefore, my baby has been cremated by the hospital but I have to say it was the worst experience of my life.

    I took the tablets on Thursday (2wks ago) and was due to go back into hospital on the Saturday morning to take the second set. However, on Friday evening I had just got out of the bath and was getting ready to meet my Fiance and his parents down our local for an hour (for my usual J20). I was their taxi service as I could not drink!

    I thought I needed the toliet, so went to go only to see blood pouring out - panic stricken I managed to get to the bedroom and grab our phone before going back to the bathroom, where I called my Mum and asked her to come over. I did not want my Fiance to be there and see what I had to see. So I called him and told him what was happening and that my Mum was 'nearly there'. (Although I'd just spoken to her and knew she would not be with me for about 30 minutes +).

    By the time she arrived, about 45 minutes later, the blood had almost stopped so I went and picked my Fiance and went to settle down in front of the TV. However, no sooner had I sat down, my contractions started.

    The next 7 hours were spent in the bathroom with my Mum. Although she too was devestated, she was strong for me and did not cry in front of me. I think I was in shock as I did not cry at all - just sat there. Once the contractions slowed down to every 20 minutes my Mum got me to lay on the bed for a bit - hoping I'd dose in between contractions - which I managed as I was completely exhausted (it was 4am).

    The baby came away while I was at home so when I went into hospital on Saturday morning and had to take the little sac ,with my baby in, with me, for them to cremate. They got me to put the next lot of tablets inside me and my contractions continued throughout the time I was at the hospital then a few hours after I got home the placenta came away.The labour went on for 28 hours in total and I have never seen so much blood.

    I too contracted an infection in my womb and have been given 2x antibiotics and some strong painkillers. I'm half way through them and feeling 100x better.

    I found it easier to talk earlier on - I think because of the shock but now everytime I think about it I want to cry.

    I went to the pub on Friday (as my doctor has advised me to go to adult places, where I am unlikely to see babies etc.. for a little while, while I get over what has happened) and came home after my second drink as there was a couple in there with twin boys; they must have only been a couple of weeks old. I just could not stand to see them (in the nicest possible way). Walking home with my Fiance I sobbed - I wanted to be that mother, with a tiny baby.

    I went for a scan on Monday (which was absolutely gutting as it was the same morning I should have had my 'dating scan', which was being done at 13.5 weeks, due to a previous scan at 5.4 weeks, where we'd seen the baby's heartbeat) and they said there is still a tiny bit to come away. However, we can start trying again after my first cycle even if this little piece has not come away (as it will not cause any problems). My Fiance and I are very happy with this news, as we thought we may have to wait 2-3 months.

    Like yours, my family and friends have been wonderful image Use them as they are a real comfort image

    I must advise you to take the time you need until you feel strong enough to go back to work etc.. I have been lucky as my work and doctors have been fantastic. I intend to go back to work on Monday, if I feel strong enough. My doctor has advised me to have another week.. we'll see.

    As you have said - time is a great healer and our pain will ease. We will both be wonderful Mummies one day image and it will make our children all the more precious to us x x

    Take care

    Lots of love, Donna xxx

  • Donna,

    Thinking of you too at this time and hoping that by talking about it on here it helps to comfort you in some way (if only a little).

    You're right...our children will be very precious when they come along, and they will come along.

    All the best for you hun. I'm so sorry that you had this experience and hope that you and your fiance get through this together. You sound very brave, I'm sure you will.

    Lots of love, Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Dear Donna,

    Oh you poor poor thing - - what a terrible time you have had - I am so sorry to read it all.. but you do sound brave and strong - if anything this will bring you and your fiance even closer.. I know that sounds silly but it has done with my husband and I...

    Did you manage to go back to work..? or is it next monday that you are going..?? I am going to try and go back for a couple of days next week - but I still feel completely out of it... I have been given some even stronger sleeping pills - as I still have not slept a wink... how are you coping with this..?

    I do hope that each day gets easier for us all... and that one day soon we will all be on the Pregnancy board together... perhaps in the spring..!

    Good luck to you and do keep in touch.. I am here if you ever feel you want to talk or rant or cry...!

    Annabel x x
  • To you all

    My heart goes out to you as its so difficult when your going through it. I lost a little girl who we named Memphis when I was 16 weeks back in 2004. Those months that followed were the darkest of my life and I have to admit to doing some really stupid things. I never imagined getting out of the darkness, but somehow I did, the human spirit is amazingly strong. I am now blessed with twin boys and am pregnant again, ironically the due date is the same as Memphis which has brought it all back, but in sort of a good way. We planted a weeping willow in her memory as part of me will always be with her. She was my first. I guess what i'm saying is exactly what i didnt want to hear when i was going through it, but it does get better. My thoughts are with you xxDBxx

  • Hi Annabel

    Thank you image

    You're right, it has made me and my fiance closer. I was only thinking that a couple of days ago.

    I went back to work on Monday. I was absolutely dreading and nobody really knew what to say but know I've been back a few days it doesn't feel like I've been away!
    I'll be thinking of you Monday - I don't know what line of work you're in but try to take everything at your own pace. I work in a complaints department and I must admit I'm taking it slowly. I'm very lucky though as my boss is really understanding and has said if I need to get away from my desk to go and have a bit of time out etc..

    Bless you! I hope these work for you hun x
    I had nightmares for about a week after my MMC started (which sounds a bit daft!) but I was getting to sleep until 4 or 6am some nights/ mornings. I am struggling to get to sleep at night; I think it's due to being off of work, staying up late, then getting up later. So hopefully, next week I should be a bit better.

    Sorry to ask, but did your womb infection clear up okay? I've just had to get some more pills as mine flared up again about four days after completing the course.

    I'm sure it will ease for us all in time.. some of the ladies on here have some nice ideas of what to due on the 'due' date, which I am considering.
    But before that, once we are actively trying again, then a bit more after we have passed the 'risky' stage of our next pregnancy, which we'll be able to support each other though image

    I don't to get anyones hopes up by saying this but from what I have been told and have read, a vast percentage of women who have suffered in the same way as we, have conceived within three months. So, fingers and toes crossed for us all... we'll be on the pregnancy board together in no timeimage

    Same goes for you Annabel.

    Lots of love, Donna xx
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