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Is it too much to ask?
fiona86
Regular
in General chat
Hi everyone,
Im 21 and a full time mum to 22month old daughter and were ttc our 2nd.
Felicity filled her nappy yesterday and oh begged me to do it. I wouldnt normally mind but ive been unwell since thurs and i do it ALL the time anyway. I asked why he couldnt do it and said he doesnt like doing it, gets all messy and im better at it cos i always do it. Exactly, i said to him, i do it all the time so why cant you just this once? Anyway i ended up doing it. Its just the principal of it, the cheek of him. If i had said to him pls i hate doing it pls pls pls felicity wouldnt have been changed at all and then i would have given in which i did anyway cos it needs to be done.
The fact is im the 'house wife' and do EVERYTHING around the house, I dont mind because he works, gives me money and I spend it. BUT surely theres no harm in him giving her a bath or putting her to bed on a saturday night, after all she is his daughter too. He works, I cook and clean and we BOTH share responsibility of OUR child. Thats how it should go.
oh well i cant complain he is a lovely man and helps out once every couple of months x
Im 21 and a full time mum to 22month old daughter and were ttc our 2nd.
Felicity filled her nappy yesterday and oh begged me to do it. I wouldnt normally mind but ive been unwell since thurs and i do it ALL the time anyway. I asked why he couldnt do it and said he doesnt like doing it, gets all messy and im better at it cos i always do it. Exactly, i said to him, i do it all the time so why cant you just this once? Anyway i ended up doing it. Its just the principal of it, the cheek of him. If i had said to him pls i hate doing it pls pls pls felicity wouldnt have been changed at all and then i would have given in which i did anyway cos it needs to be done.
The fact is im the 'house wife' and do EVERYTHING around the house, I dont mind because he works, gives me money and I spend it. BUT surely theres no harm in him giving her a bath or putting her to bed on a saturday night, after all she is his daughter too. He works, I cook and clean and we BOTH share responsibility of OUR child. Thats how it should go.
oh well i cant complain he is a lovely man and helps out once every couple of months x
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Replies
I'm not saying every bloke shud b like that but a little consideration, more frequently than every cpl months, doesn't hurt and can help keep ur relationship as a couple, that bit stronger.
Its great because although I'm the one at home with her all day its great to see her have such a close bond with her dad too. I'm not saying that all dads should be as hands on as what my hubby is but when they are they def reap the rewards.
Hilary x
By the way he does play with Felicity, hes a great dad and loves her to bits and will look after her if I want to go out.
sorry to rant just needed to get things off my chest
But what if u were laid up sick in bed,or hospital. And not just that,if he really wants a good relationship with his child,it starts from day 1. bath time is fun. At least try n get him to do bath time and night story, Its a start hun and will give u 30 mins break. Sometimes we just need a lil break from out lil ones.
on a serious note though if anything happened to you what would your other half do? its his responsibilty to look after your child and your right to have a break once in a while. being a mum is 1000times harder than anything in the world and unfortunatly most men dont realise this. i actually left my hubby and took my 1week old baby with me because he was really taking the pee out of me.expecting everything, dinner etc even with me having the baby too. he soon realised i was serious when i said he had to get his backside in gear. 6years and 3 children later hes the best dad and a great help to me. im not saying thats the answer but only that i understand(you could make him read these replys that might have the desired affect!!!)......good luck hon xxxxxxxxxx
My oh works from 8 and gets in around 6ish mon to fri. When he gets in he will bath the girls whilst I cook, then I'll come up and give him a hand if the cooking is on etc. Sometimes he will cook and I will bath them but whatever way round we do it we work as a team and it gets done quicker. The sooner they are in bed, the sooner we can enjoy our evening together and eat in peace (well most of the time, sometimes our eldest stays up for a little while longer so she can have a cuddle with daddy etc). At the weekend he will always let me lie in on sunday and he has a lie in on a sat so we both have 1 morning off a week. Then if I want to go out for the evening he wil look after them in the same way I do when he goes out. I think he really treasures the time he has with the children and has even said after I've had our 3rd he wants us to both work part time so we can share the childcare and working resposibilites equally. He really does miss the children when he's at work and can't wait to see them in the evening when he gets home. I hope you manage to get him to change his ways and help you out a bit more. You don't want to still be doing everything when you have a newborn to look after aswell. Good luck x x
Don't get me wrong, it was horrible, I felt so sad and guilty and cried the whole way to my mum's and for ages once I got there. I didn't come home until I knew LO would be in bed. Nothing much got sorted that night, we were both too worn out to discuss it all properly. The next day he phoned me from work to apologise! And since then he has done his share. LO started making dada sounds last night, which of course he thinks is her first word, so now I think things are gonna totally flip round and I'm gonna have to fight him to get to bath her!!
Sort him out Sarah!! It might be hard at the time but it'll be so worth it afterwards x
well my oh is actually very good. he works 9-530pm mon-fri and he always gives joshua his 7pm bottle and checks on him when he's in bed. alos if he cries in the night (Iwhich is very rare) he'll get up and check on him, not all the time, but most of the time. also when joshua was first bornand he was feeding middle of the night my oh would get up with me and sit with me as i really strugged to BF and would cry at every feed. dont get me wrong he doesnt do much around the house but he does cook twice a week and he is a fab dad to joshua. IMO it takes two to make a baby and two to bring one up! i admire singkle parents so much. come on girls sort those blokes out lol xxx
my oh has been brilliant with both boys, automatically goes to change his nappy, make a feed, put him to sleep, give them a bath and thats the way i think it should be because u r both parents...
during his paternity leave, he was the one who did ALL the night feeds to let me rest and on weekends when he doesn't have to get up early he's the one that checks on the boys, make sure their covers are still on etc.
my husband used to do 8-4 shifts so he can be home early to be with us but now he's changed his shift to 10-6 so he can take the older one to school and be able to give the younger one his first feed because i stay up later to give him the last feed...