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Help! We cant control our 2 year old son!

xclairexxclairex
in Toddler
My son Jack is 2 years old and he bangs his head all the time, and makes sure he does it on something hard. He has a bruise on the front of his head a lot of the time and it really concerns me what he is doing to himself. I have been told that this is just normal for his age and that if he hurts himself he will stop and try putting a pillow or something under his head so he doesn't hurt himself but he still does it. If I put a pillow under his head he pulls it out, if he hits his head on something soft he will keep banging his head and moving until he hits somthing hard, he doesn't stop if he hurts himself, just screams and cries in pain but continues, if I lay him in his cot he will bang his head on the sides of the cot, if I put him in a buggy he will bang his head on the frame, He also headbutts his twin sister and sometimes me and his dad. When he throws a tantrum he is so strong and neither me or his dad can control him, we keep a car seat in the room to strap him into so he cant hurt himself or anyone else. He will sit in the chair and scream and growl for ages then all of a sudden he just stops and says he wants mummy or daddy and its as if he doesn't even remember what has just happened.

All the health visitors tell me it is normal behaviour and to just ignore hima nd let him get on with it but I find that hard to do when my son is repeatedly banging his head on a concrete floor.

I saw a doctor for him in May and she said if it would make me feel better she would refer him to see if their was anything wrong but in November I got a letter from the 0-16 group sayingthat they don't see children of his age and their will be nothing wrong with his mental health so I have still not seen anyone for him, In the last month I have been/phoned doctors a few times a week about it and got nowhere.

I really dont know what to do with him and wondered if anyone has any advice or if this sounds like anyone else children?

Thanks Claire x

Replies

  • ColaBottlesareyummyColaBottlesareyummy
    My friend's little boy was exactly the same at that age and he's now a happy, healthy 10 year old. Have you thought about trying a 'time out area' at home with a huge bean bag in it that he can bang his frustrations out on? Know it's not exactly a portable solution but if he learns that he doesn't get the attention when he does it at home (and you're happier that he's not hurting himself) then it should follow that he stops doing it at all.

    Fingers crossed.
    Xx
  • Anne28Anne28
    Oh hunny, I feel for you. (have we replied to each others posts b4? Seem to remember a twins mum with a head banger, but my memory is poo and im not often on here). My lo screams bloody murder, hits himself and others, scratches his face and punches himself in the belly when he has a strop. He too will act normal and 'innocent' when he snaps out of it and calms down. Im sure the neighbours think i am torturing him! I dont agree that this is 'normal behaviour', in that it is very extreme agression. but I doubt that there is anything seriously wrong. I think some kids just get hyper-wound up and just arent emotionally equiped to deal with their frustrations - by that I mean even less well equiped than other kids that age. Just as some adults have anger issues more so than others (road rage etc) then it prob follows that some kids will be more affected by it too.

    Believe me, I know how worrying, tiring, and frustrating it is to have a child like this. But as my others werent like this I reassure myself that Its not anything that I am doing wrong. You should take this view too hun. You are a good mum, and its not anything you have done. and Im sure he (and mine) will grow out of it.

    Take care hun xx
  • Anne28Anne28
    Just re-read my previous thread and realised you are the one I was thinking of! (sorry, like I said my memory is crap)
  • betty78betty78
    Hi, my son also used to bang his head on things, especially walls, kitchen cupboards, the floor etc.
    My GP advised me to ignore him the same as yours has. I did, and it worked. He grew out of it eventually.
    I know it's difficult to sit back and ignore this type of behaviour when your instinct is to stop it from happening.
    I've dealt with most things from my 3 children using this method. I ignore any behaviour that I find unnacceptable ( obviously unless the kids have put themselves in danger ) and praise acceptable behaviour.
    Like I said, I know how difficult this is but maybe it might work for you.

    Big love and good luck. x
  • JamjarmoleJamjarmole

    Hello!

    This is my first time replying on here!

    I've got the same issue! My son has not long turned 2 but he's been doing this since he was 10 months old. Only now it's gotten a lot worse! He's head is covered in bruises! And now he's started biting himself until he bleeds and pulling his hair so hard it comes out ( cut it all of now)

    It doesn't make any sense because when he's not doing this he's a really happy little boy! I have no idea what to do about it! We've been doctors and rbeyve just fobbed us off but I'm seriously concerned. It's not right at all. 

    Even when he's having a melt down he's never once bitten/headbuttedh/pulled my hair out he will literally only do it to himself l!

    Could you tell me what happened to your little one? Or if there's anything that helped stop this behavior? 

  • ivycatsivycats Regular

    Oh my gosh this sounds absolutely horrendous I really feel for anyone having to deal with this with their little one. I have no experience but sounds like it does happen to a fee and ignoring seems the only way to deal with it.

    I am curious as to which environment this happens in. Can it be any environment or is it more prominent in some? For example if at families or friends houses will it happen? Anywhere in public? And similarly let's for example say it happens at home which I'm assuming it does, is it more prominent arpund certain people? I am suspecting it may be more frequent in a particular setting arpund particular people. Though I could be wrong. If that's the case, although it would be impossible at times,  could removibf this scenario as much as possible, be a temporary tactic whilst he grows out of it? Then just ignore when that's not possible. If you can't stop this behaviour completely theb I guess the next best thing would be to reduce it somehow.

  • momsiefiedmomsiefied
    When my son's 2 years old, he also use to do that. Bang or hit his head even when he's not upset. I know this might offend some moms but whenever he does that, I scream and I think that scares him. Eventually he stopped and now that he's 4 years old, the screaming stops, too. Lol anyway, his doctor told me that it's normal and that I have nothing to worry about. The banging didn't last long, too and when he's upset, he just cries a little bit but after that, he's good. 
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