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does/did your oh...
help with night feeds on work nights?
i'm dying to know, because my hubby doesnt think he should, and i agreed to that, and that he would do wknds. thing is, one night every wknd my lo goes off to my mums or the inlaws over night so ben tends to only do one "shift" as we call it, per week. i go to bed and get up at the same time as him every day, and work just as bloody hard as him during the day and am starting to think i should rope him in on week nights! at the wknds he often makes a big song and dance out of doing his share and moans and groans whenever she wakes up which wakes me up anyways!!! then we argue about who deserves a lie in the most and who should get up when evie does.
what happens in your house? x
i'm dying to know, because my hubby doesnt think he should, and i agreed to that, and that he would do wknds. thing is, one night every wknd my lo goes off to my mums or the inlaws over night so ben tends to only do one "shift" as we call it, per week. i go to bed and get up at the same time as him every day, and work just as bloody hard as him during the day and am starting to think i should rope him in on week nights! at the wknds he often makes a big song and dance out of doing his share and moans and groans whenever she wakes up which wakes me up anyways!!! then we argue about who deserves a lie in the most and who should get up when evie does.
what happens in your house? x
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Replies
It is really hard work and I think one day alone with her will make him realise just how hard it is! It worked for me!!
My hubby sound similar to yours! I do the feeds during the week as my oh works and has a fair way to drive every day so I don't want him falling asleep at the wheel. I manage to do them without disturbing him so he gets a full nights sleep, on a weekend he can sleep through Brendans grumbles for a bottle so I will nudge him and ask if he will get a bottle. Usually takes several attempts to wake him up properly and even then he has been known to fall asleep sitting up in bed feeding Brendan! :roll: Consequently I am never fully asleep when he does the feeds and usually do at least one of the feeds myself still on a weekend.
It is very tiring and on more than one occassion I have wanted to point out how unfair it is as I have not had a full nights sleep for longer than I can remember what with pregnancy bladder and now an 8 week old baby! Don't think he fully comprehends this though and was surprised the other week when I said how tired I was and he said 'but you do sleep during the day don't you?'! Don't know how anyone finds time to properly sleep during the day when they are looking after a baby! The times Brendan is asleep during the day I am either grabbing a shower and getting dressed, making up bottles, getting something to eat, tidying the house a bit, putting on a load of washing and hanging the clean stuff up to dry .... the list goes on!
So I can't offer you any advise just sympathise with you! Makes it all worth while for me when Brendan gives me a big beaming smile and I am still keeping my fingers crossed that any week now he will increase his feeds from every 3 hours so mummy can have a bit more sleep!
Liz x
It makes me laugh to think how things have changed - I now feel like I have had a huge lie in if I get a 5 hour chunk of sleep in one go!
[Modified by: Lottie78 on February 28, 2008 08:43 AM]
we did have many many arguements about it, and still have a few rows about it now, that i always change nappies, feed and bath him... but oh is getting better and does things when asked - the only groan i have about him now is that he needs telling how to do things, and i sometimes dont like the way he does things so have to go and stop him and show him....... and also he doesnt think about things the way i would and sometimes comes across as a bit selfish (which he by no means is) and i have a rant at him...... just little things
but with training he is getting better
Have got to say though I have managed to get my oh to sterilise the bottles on two occassions now woohoo! =p And I have trained him to not re-boil the kettle for a cuppa while I am waiting for the water to cool down! I do often think it wouldn't harm him to think for himself for a change rather than me having to give him instructions.
The other thing that annoys me is on an evening when I am making dinner he is supposed to be looking after Brendan and on several occassions I will shout 'its bottle time' and he will say oh he has fallen asleep on me so I will leave him. It really annoys me as the evenings are the time I really want Brendan to get as much food in his system as he can to give any kind of a chance of him dropping just one of his night feeds. My oh reaction is 'he's quiet now why disturb him?' which is fine for him as he sleeps through the night without a care in the world while I am left literally holding the baby!
Last night Brendan had a bottle with me just after 4pm and at 7pm I told my oh to give him a bottle as he had started to grizzle for one. Instead my oh rocked and patted him to sleep! For the first time Brendan didn't wake for a bottle and didn't ask for one until 12:50am!! A total record, but I can't help but think if my oh had given him his bottle at 7pm maybe that time of no feeds would have been when I was sleeping!! Think I will have to start putting my foot down!
I must sau though that OH was really sweet when i was preg as he would wake up with me everytime i needed the toilet in the last few months as i had to go up two flights of stairs (stayed in room on ground floor) as he wanted to make sure i didnt fall down stairs!! I thought that was so sweet of him considering his long hours and some nights it would be every hour or so!!
Hannah xx
My hubby did more with the boys. Once bottle fed we took it in turns to do the night feed and he always gave the last bottle as he's a night owl and i'm not! We agreed this time that once she was 'off the chest' (as he put it!) that he'd do a feed too as before. Thing is, it's just so much easier doing it myself and i had to wake him and i'd stay awake...so i got him doing the weekend feeds! Then, lo and behold, after only 2 weekends she started sleeping thru so no-one needs to get up! Like you katielou i asked him to swap sides to do the 'dummy' shift but he never wakes so i have to get out of bed to do it. How is it they can sleep through anything?!
He's getting good at the steriliser tho-managed to wash bottles i'd left soaking, sterilise AND add water all without being asked! He did cook a fantastic steak too...can't complain too much!
Back to my cake.....!
since then tho i have to do most of it, and still i get told i do nothing..... (albeit jokingly, he admits he probably couldnt look after ollie all day as well as i do)
xxx
My oh works nights so i can't but on his nights off he does it!
my oh had to look after lo for a couple of hours yesterday and just as i was about to leave he said 'so what do i do with him now?' lol
When i got back he said 'i haven't had any breakfast yet and i'm desperate for the toilet!!!' lol he only had him a short while but it made him realise what i do during the day, look after lo get myself ready and do the housework! maybe do that to your oh and make him see just how busy you are during the day!!
He doesn't do anything in the house at the moment but I have to go back to work on April 1st so everything will be shared then and he's fine with that!
If he is on late shift, he gets in at about 7.15, he baths her and feeds her before I put her to bed so he's very good to be honest!
xx