Anxious about Becoming dependant!
Hey girls,
my contract finishes at work in 4 weeks at which point for the first time EVER i'll have to go on to benifits and be dependant upon OH! He is being very good to me but its causing me no end of anxity! I have always worked! I am worried about our relationship - perhaps a power inbalance, excess money strain, OH feeling he needs to do more hours (he does loads already). I have 3 months when i finish before i give birth but already showing heavely and to be honest not really able to work so god only knows what ill be like later on! plus were moving home and OH says its like a full time job getting everything sorted there... which it is... I am better at managing money than he is... if he or I likes something he'll just buy it and go without afterwards... with a baby on the way this makes alarm bells go off in my head!! AUGH!! He earns a decent wage & I dont really want him to do more hours as i think he does well enough, i just feel like i'm not pulling my weight... yes i know i'm carrying his child! but its just freeking me out the idea of not earning although actually i cant wait to finish this contract as i'm just really not able! I know this is not rational! but just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
Hormones huh! who'd have em!! xx
my contract finishes at work in 4 weeks at which point for the first time EVER i'll have to go on to benifits and be dependant upon OH! He is being very good to me but its causing me no end of anxity! I have always worked! I am worried about our relationship - perhaps a power inbalance, excess money strain, OH feeling he needs to do more hours (he does loads already). I have 3 months when i finish before i give birth but already showing heavely and to be honest not really able to work so god only knows what ill be like later on! plus were moving home and OH says its like a full time job getting everything sorted there... which it is... I am better at managing money than he is... if he or I likes something he'll just buy it and go without afterwards... with a baby on the way this makes alarm bells go off in my head!! AUGH!! He earns a decent wage & I dont really want him to do more hours as i think he does well enough, i just feel like i'm not pulling my weight... yes i know i'm carrying his child! but its just freeking me out the idea of not earning although actually i cant wait to finish this contract as i'm just really not able! I know this is not rational! but just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
Hormones huh! who'd have em!! xx
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Replies
i'm feeling exactly the same! i'm a uni student but at the moment i'm only in lectures a couple of hours a week and wont be there at all as of beginning of april. i was working as a temp over xmas but finished that in early feb. we found out i'm preggers on xmas eve and i've been showing for the last couple of weeks. i'm finding it absolutely impossible to find a job, everybody just sees the bump and thats it. its so frustrating because i've supported myself since i was 16 and this is the longest i've been without a job in four years!! my oh is a carpenter and although he doesnt generally earn that much it's enough for us and (hopefully) the baby when he/she comes along. however, since we found out he's been working 6, sometimes 7 days a week so we can be comfortable enough for him to have a few weeks off when the baby comes and for us to have a house (we're in a flat at the mo) when our tenancy is up in september. i don't have a problem with people being on benefits when they need them but i've never claimed any and neither have any of my family and especially as i'm quite young i feel like i'm going to be judged really badly if i claim! not only that but i'm not exactly sure what i'd be entitled to anyway. it really gets me down some days, not only the money aspects but the fact that i am so so bored already and i've still got a very long way to go!!
anyway chick, no handy advice i'm afraid so i know i'm not much help but i thought i'd let you know you're not alone in feeling like this!!
xxx
Just the thought of not working is totally freaking me out and I am not finishing work until 10 days before my due date.
C
xx
xxx
We too dont live a life of luxury - only go out for meals every now and again and i dont spend a lot on clothes, makeup etc. A lot of our baby equipment has been bought second hand and ive been to a few NCT sales and got some good bargains there too.
I am worried as my oh isnt very good with money and i control our finances and its grieves me that i am soon going to have to rely on him to pay the bulk of our bills. I suppose we will have to wait and see what tax credits / child credits we are entitled to once baby is here.
Im also going to see if i qualify for Sure Start Maternity Grant once baby is here but dont hold out much hope for that! Would be nice to get given ??500!