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At a party - just cant win!

Last night I went to a friend of the families 50th Birthday party... we got there about 8ish and people were starting to be tipsy already! I had several people come up to me and say things like 'who ate all the pies' and 'oh my got your massive - but your have a big frame anyway not not surprised!' 'your hugh' & 'you sure you haven't got two in there' 'you must be eating loads' 'i cant belive how BIG you are' ect ... this went on ALL night and people I didn't know started to come up to be just before we were leaving to tell me how big I was!! I was close to tears twice and just barely held it together!

On my way out the door at 10:30pm with my Lovely OH some girl stopped me and said something to the effect of 'did you hear how we were talking about how BIG you were?' we were looking at you tonight and thinking Corr your massive poor love but surely you only have less than a month less! I was like acctually i'm 22 weeks and have 4 months left!'

It didn't matter if I told them my baby was measuring at twice the size he should be or that actually ive lost my appitite since getting pregnant, that all the women in my family show alot and they loss it when the child comes.. there was always a come back that felt a bit like a nasty dig to me...

They then went on to tell me that this girl who had been walking around all night looking Georgous in a silky bright blue dress had been upset by me because she was 3 months pregnant and because she wasn't showing yet I had taken 'ALL the ATTENTION' that she was worried that she wouldn't get a bump like me and people wouldn't know!! like it was my fault that I hadn't been sharing the lime light with her! (last night she would of been welcome to it)

At the time I wanted to scream 'oh fuck off i've had people telling me i'm hughly obese all night and she gets to walk around in her normal sexy little figure and i have to feel guilty because she didn't get the attention!!'

what I actually said was 'oh she'll get a bump soon enough and smiled' I got into the car and the journey home was quite, I got in the door and up staires and cried and cried and cried! I felt Sooo low about myself looking grotesque (sp) :cry: My fella cuddled me and told me I was beautiful and I sobbed myself to sleep - I've had a really restless night and haven't slept well dreaming about fighting with people who make nasty comments!

I dont feel so bad towards the other pregnant girl now (at the time the smile was thru gritted teeth) but now I am thinking how awful it is that were both pregnant and she is made to feel inadiquate because she is not showing enough and i'm made cry because I just have one nasty/awful comment after the other! :\?

you just cant win!

Replies

  • What an awful group of people! How insensitive of them to be so blunt with their comments. No wonder you were so upset. I''d listen to your fella about how gorgeous you are and ignore them all. They sound jealous and will be even more so when you have your beautiful baby in your arms. Try not to dwell on it honey and go and get another kiss and cuddle off your man.

    All the best. Love and hugs, Denise xxx
  • Why on earth did you stay! Please don;t let people like that get you down. Your OH and LO are the most impportant people in your life - people like that just aren't worth the energy.

    My bump has really grown in the last fortnight and this week I've had a couple of raised eyebrows when I've told people how far gone I am and they look as if to say "Blimey what are you going to be like by the end".

    I haven't had a chance to use it yet but I have my come-back line all sorted if I ever get an offensive comment. I will say (with an innocent twinkle in my eye) "Hey, your looking like you've got a little bump of your own - are you sure you haven't got a secret of your own to share?" and give a little nudge nudge wink wink - see if that wipes the smile off their face image

    25+1
  • That's horrible! Well done you for keeping your cool and being polite though (don't think I could be as mature). How dare they make you feel like that! If they are allowed to be rude then so are we! I have a friend who's as tall as she is wide and she's always got to have a dig about something, but since i've become pregzilla and say exactly what I think back she seems to have stopped.

    You are absolutely right, as no matter what size you are if you're pregnant people always feel they have the right to make comments! And if we say something back they say it's our hormones! Ahhhhhgggg!!!!!

    xxx
  • I would ignore them, I know it's hard but some people are so rude! A girl at work last week told me my bum was looking big and then added it's probably because I'm not used to seeing you fat! The cheek of it! I came home and asked hubby what he thought and he said my bum looked the same size and not to worry. What gives people the right to comment on our bumps in such an insensitive way?? I get fed up with the people who think they can just prod me. I so want a t-shirt that tells them exactly what I think of them!
    xxxx
  • omg how rude are these people. what gives them a right to comment on your size just because your pg.

    There's no way that I would have been able to keep quiet. I would have been shocked by their comments at first but would have then started to reply by making some snide remarks of my own. comment on what they are wearing, ( I realy like what you have on, didnt think any one our age can get away with it, or I only thought they made them for the size zero's) smile and quickly walk away before they work out that your actually paid them an insult and not a compliment. Or one of my favorite ones, just say four litlle words, There We Are Then. ( for those of you who dont know what this means it's calling someone a tw@t.)

    Nat.
  • Thanks Girls I wondered if i were just being overly sensitive - thats why i kept my mouth shut! I did feel hurt tho and yes they all preceeded to touch my bump after insulting it and then asking afterwards! My fella did say a couple of times She is Beautiful and she IS pregnant by the way... I was so upset last night tho really tearful over... got over it now! But would love a quite witted answer to shut them all up apart from saying I just want to smack them in the mouth for being so rude! x
  • I am not quick enough to answer back! Pleased you feel a bit better now!
    xxxx
  • Aren't you all getting sick of these comments by now? I simply tell them that I've heard every single joke about being small/big/twins/pies so if they do feel the need to get it out of their system, please do so but don't expect me to laugh yet again.

    Might be bordering on the extremely rude but I'm BORED of it!!!!!

    Take no notice of them hon - it seems to come with the territory unfortunately.

    Karenxx
    28wks
    (small for dates, big for dates, carrying twins, hiding behind the other, ate all the pies, looking washed out etc etc etc grrr)
  • Bless you hun...hope you're feeling better...I was in Blockbuster last night and heard 3 young pretty girls calling me a fat beast behind my back!!! Come on, I've never been a size 8 but I'm blatently 7 months pregnant...I thought, you wait til I'm back to my former self and I see you in town girls. I am gonna be one yummy bloody mummy who could have you all for breakfast. They got off quite lightly the mood I was in yesterday!!!!

    Hope they didn't get you down too much hun.
    Katie and bambino.x x x
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