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naming ceremony V christening

Hi everyone

I just wondered what everyone's views were about naming ceremonies and christenings. I wanted to have Shea christened in September on his first birthday and we were going to get him christened at our local church where we got married but we're having a few problems. Hubby doens't wanted a private christening (not with a load of other kids) but the cost is horrendous!! and churches are always pleading poverty! so we didn't really want to have a communal one as we have such a large family too. We are also having a "god parent" issue as that we've asked one set of friends but that has upset some other relatives!!
So anyway i'm looking into having a naming ceremony on his birthday at his grandparents house. They have a massive back garden and my FIL is a practicing catholic and has holy water and would like to "bless him" with it. I've found a good website doing naming ceremony certificates and poetry, but i jsut don't know if that's sort of cheating and whether we should have a proper religious ceremony, but we're not religious people.

your thoughts would be lovely
thanks
Claire
xx

Replies

  • Hi Claire,

    We are having a naming ceromony for our lo on 24th May, and we are also getting married on the same day. We choose a naming ceromony because neither one of us our religious and it seems wrong to preech something that we dont actually believe in. When our little girl is older she can make her own decision as to what she wants to do religion wise. The ceromony itself has cost us ??200 and you get a certificate for the parents and the grandparents and God Parent equivalents also get one and they all get to make a promise to our daughter. Some of the poems that are in the cermoney are just beautiful, if you want me to write some out for you I can do, we have adapted them so that they are more special for Holly.
    Dont be rushed into doing anything that you dont want to do, at the end of the day its your child, your choice and people should respect that.
    Hope that helps

    Claire
    PS great name by the way Lol

    :lol:
  • Hi claire, it is a tough one to decide. my oldest 2 were christened mainly because that was the done thing at the time and mil was pretty insistent and that was in the days when i didnt stand up to her. I did feel a bit hypocritical because we didnt go to church. My younger 2 had a naming ceremony and i would definitely recommend it, we chose our own poems and readings and we had a guest book which everyone wrote messages in. we obviously didnt have god-parents but we chose guiding parents instead which do the same thing but without the religious aspect. It felt so much more personal to us becuase we did our own reading and made our own promises to our baby.
    Good luck in whatever you decide. xx
  • thanks for your help everyone, i've decided to go for a naming ceremony as they are much more personal and you can tailor it to how you want the day.

    Can't wait for September now!!
    xx
  • Glad you feel better about it now, I hope all goes well.
  • thanks and congrats for the May wedding ( you'll be busy - wedding and naming ceremony on same day!!) but then you know the saying "kill two birds with one stone" saves getting everyone together on a second date. If you're family is anything like mine, then one day is enough lol!!
  • I'm going to be different from everyone because we're having a dedication service for your wee boy on the first of June. It's like a christening but without the water. You just promise to look after your baby and bring them up with christian values. I don't believe in infant baptism...its not even in the bible!!! My LO can decide to get baptised as an adult like I did (full emersion).
  • I'm glad you posted this. I have nt given it too much thought but recently, and sorry this is a really morbid thought, i wondered what would happen if anything happened to my lo s and if they weren't christened whether they'd be allowed to be buried? i wanted to wait til they were a bit older so they could know what was going on and be a bit more part of it. i rarely go to church these days but it is something thats important to me. i like the idea of a dedication - is it like just a blessing?
  • Yup it is. My church is a baptist church thats why we dont baptise babies.
  • we wanted our lo Christened and as we are both c of e i looked for a nice c of e church and found one literally round the corner well anyway i gave the church a call to arrange a meeting. the 'father' (this should have tipped us off) would not see us unless we went to church. so i dragged my oh and Sam down to church and omg it was full high anglican; insence and holy communion and everything. to top it all they want my oh to be confirmed the god parents have to be baptised and at least one confirmed. it was so strict and old fashioned we decided not to go ahead but dont know whether to look for another church or just do a naming ceremony. i definately like the sound of a dedication as its not so formal
  • My son is being dedicated on Sunday. We didn't want him to be christened as we believe that he should make his own decision as to whether or not he wants to be baptised. It will take place during the service on Sunday morning and basically we will go up and make some vows, I have copied them below just in case anyone is interested. We have picked 2 sets of prayer partners (God Parents) to support us and our friends and family in the congregation will promise to help support us.
    The Vows
    To the parents:
    "Will you, by God's wisdom and strength, bring ... up to love and worship God. Will you love him/her and care for him/her. Will you, by your prayers, example and encouragement show ... what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?"

    To the Prayer Partners:
    "Will you, by God's grace and strength, seek to be faithful in praying for ..., and stand by (Parent's names) through the joys and pains of caring for ..., supporting them constantly with love, understanding and prayer?"

    To the Church:
    "Will you pray for ...? Will you support and encourage (parent's names)? Will you seek to give ... a clear example of what it means to be a Christian and will you, by God's grace, do nothing to cause ... to stumble or turn away from the God who loves him/her?

    As it is Asher's birthday on Thursday we are then going to have a big birthday party for him. I'm so excited about the whole thing.

    Personally I don't think that you should have your baby christened or dedicated if you do not hold Christian views, even if you are getting pressure from family. A naming ceremony can be just as special and significant if that is what you choose.

    Anna

  • My son is being dedicated on Sunday. We didn't want him to be christened as we believe that he should make his own decision as to whether or not he wants to be baptised. It will take place during the service on Sunday morning and basically we will go up and make some vows, I have copied them below just in case anyone is interested. We have picked 2 sets of prayer partners (God Parents) to support us and our friends and family in the congregation will promise to help support us.
    The Vows
    To the parents:
    "Will you, by God's wisdom and strength, bring ... up to love and worship God. Will you love him/her and care for him/her. Will you, by your prayers, example and encouragement show ... what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?"

    To the Prayer Partners:
    "Will you, by God's grace and strength, seek to be faithful in praying for ..., and stand by (Parent's names) through the joys and pains of caring for ..., supporting them constantly with love, understanding and prayer?"

    To the Church:
    "Will you pray for ...? Will you support and encourage (parent's names)? Will you seek to give ... a clear example of what it means to be a Christian and will you, by God's grace, do nothing to cause ... to stumble or turn away from the God who loves him/her?

    As it is Asher's birthday on Thursday we are then going to have a big birthday party for him. I'm so excited about the whole thing.

    Personally I don't think that you should have your baby christened or dedicated if you do not hold Christian views, even if you are getting pressure from family. A naming ceremony can be just as special and significant if that is what you choose.

    Anna

  • My son is being dedicated on Sunday. We didn't want him to be christened as we believe that he should make his own decision as to whether or not he wants to be baptised. It will take place during the service on Sunday morning and basically we will go up and make some vows, I have copied them below just in case anyone is interested. We have picked 2 sets of prayer partners (God Parents) to support us and our friends and family in the congregation will promise to help support us.
    The Vows
    To the parents:
    "Will you, by God's wisdom and strength, bring ... up to love and worship God. Will you love him/her and care for him/her. Will you, by your prayers, example and encouragement show ... what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?"

    To the Prayer Partners:
    "Will you, by God's grace and strength, seek to be faithful in praying for ..., and stand by (Parent's names) through the joys and pains of caring for ..., supporting them constantly with love, understanding and prayer?"

    To the Church:
    "Will you pray for ...? Will you support and encourage (parent's names)? Will you seek to give ... a clear example of what it means to be a Christian and will you, by God's grace, do nothing to cause ... to stumble or turn away from the God who loves him/her?

    As it is Asher's birthday on Thursday we are then going to have a big birthday party for him. I'm so excited about the whole thing.

    Personally I don't think that you should have your baby christened or dedicated if you do not hold Christian views, even if you are getting pressure from family. A naming ceremony can be just as special and significant if that is what you choose.

    Anna

  • My son is being dedicated on Sunday. We didn't want him to be christened as we believe that he should make his own decision as to whether or not he wants to be baptised. It will take place during the service on Sunday morning and basically we will go up and make some vows, I have copied them below just in case anyone is interested. We have picked 2 sets of prayer partners (God Parents) to support us and our friends and family in the congregation will promise to help support us.
    The Vows
    To the parents:
    "Will you, by God's wisdom and strength, bring ... up to love and worship God. Will you love him/her and care for him/her. Will you, by your prayers, example and encouragement show ... what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?"

    To the Prayer Partners:
    "Will you, by God's grace and strength, seek to be faithful in praying for ..., and stand by (Parent's names) through the joys and pains of caring for ..., supporting them constantly with love, understanding and prayer?"

    To the Church:
    "Will you pray for ...? Will you support and encourage (parent's names)? Will you seek to give ... a clear example of what it means to be a Christian and will you, by God's grace, do nothing to cause ... to stumble or turn away from the God who loves him/her?

    As it is Asher's birthday on Thursday we are then going to have a big birthday party for him. I'm so excited about the whole thing.

    Personally I don't think that you should have your baby christened or dedicated if you do not hold Christian views, even if you are getting pressure from family. A naming ceremony can be just as special and significant if that is what you choose.

    Anna

  • oops, sorry, computer trouble!
  • We have no intention of getting Cole christened as we aren't religious .. whatever family thinks. My mum actually had a huge strop at me a few years back when I said that if I ever had kids I wouldn't christen them and she kept on about how I should because 'it was the right thing to do'.

    For us - we aren't religious and it would be hypocritical to make a promise that we would bring him up according to a particular religion when we know we wont - it would be lying to him which I won't do and its also disrespectful to the people who do believe.

    My friend has had her kids dedicated and she says she sees it as like a doorway into the religion whilst allowing them the freedom to make their own choices if they want which is nice.

    I am godmother to my 2 cousins 2 boys and I felt like a total fake doing the promises to a god i don't believe in, but I'll always look out for the kids and if they wanted to learn about religion I'd help them.

    It'll be interesting I'm sure when we go to see hubbys family when we end up seeing the religious side of his family..although maybe they'll have got the message considering we had a civil weddiing ceremony and I was 5 months pregnant at the time! image
  • Interesting discussion... I was recently invited to a humanist christening and didn't know what to expect... it was pretty similar to what you described above and really lovely.. I really just want my little girl to get an opportunity to wear a traditional christening dress... will probably choose ivory colour as not to make it too religious I guess! :)

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